101+ Cocktail Puns That’ll Make You Shake with Laughter!

Attention all cocktail enthusiasts! Are you ready to dive into the world of boozy puns and witty wordplay? Come on in, let’s raise a glass and laugh through these cocktail-inspired puns that are sure to leave you shaken and stirred.From the Tipsy Turtle’s shell of a good time to the Margarita on the Rocks’ salty sip with a kick, each cocktail we encounter will tickle your funny bone and quench your thirst for humor. We’ll sip on the Aperol Spritz’s summery spritz with a bitter twist, and take a bite of the Old Fashioned’s classic cocktail with a boozy bite.The Negroni’s bittersweet and strong mix will stir up some laughter, while the Manhattan’s sophisticated rye twist will leave you feeling classy and amused. We’ll mojito your way to a refreshing Cuban kick, and daiquiri away with a zesty twist.Transport yourself to a tropical getaway with the Mai Tai, and savor the dry wit of the Dry Martini. Get a pick-me-up with the coffee-infused Espresso Martini, or twist things up with the tart and tangy Whisky Sour.Finally, we’ll wrap up with a brunch-time favorite, the Bloody Mary, and raise a glass to the pink and pretty party starter, the Cosmopolitan. So sit back, relax, and let these cocktail puns flow through your veins. Cheers to laughter and a good time!

Tipsy Turtle: A Shell of a Cocktail

1. What do you call a turtle that’s always drunk? A Tipsy Turtle!
2. Why did the turtle cross the road? To shell-ebrate its birthday! 🐢
3. What’s a turtle’s favorite holiday? Shell-o-ween!
4. Why did the turtle get fired from its job? Because it was too shell-fish!
5. What do you call a turtle with no legs? A shell-fish! 🐢
6. What do you call a turtle that’s always in trouble? A shell-raiser!
7. What do you get when you cross a turtle with a pig? A ham and shell-wich!
8. Why are turtles so good at hide-and-seek? Because they’re shell-ent at it!
9. What do you call a turtle that’s always getting into fights? A shell-bully! 🐢
10. What do you call a turtle that’s always late? A shell-ow-poke!
11. Why did the turtle get arrested? Because it was shell-fished!
12. What do you call a turtle that’s always on the go? A shell-way!
13. Why did the turtle get a new shell? Because it was shell-tered!
14. What do you call a turtle that’s always in the sun? A shell-tanned! 🐢
15. Why did the turtle wear a raincoat? Because it was shell-uvial!
16. What do you call a turtle that’s always singing? A shell-adel!
17. Why did the turtle get a manicure? Because it wanted to look shell-tastic!
18. What do you call a turtle that’s always breaking down? A shell-f-mobile! 🐢
19. Why did the turtle cross the desert? To get to the other s(h)ell!
20. What do you call a turtle that’s always getting lost? A shell-ter!

Margarita on the Rocks: A Salty Sip with a Kick

1. What do you call a margarita that’s been in the freezer too long? An ice-over-rita!
2. Why did the margarita get a sunburn? Because it spent too much time on the rocks!
3. What do you call a margarita mixed with tequila and sand? A salty-rita!
4. Why did the margarita get lost in the desert? Because it couldn’t find its oasis!
5. What do you call a margarita with extra salt? A margarita on the double rocks!
6. What do you call a margarita that’s been watered down? A diluted-rita!
7. Why did the margarita get a speeding ticket? Because it was going over the lime-it!
8. What do you call a margarita that’s made with too much orange juice? A mimosa-rita!
9. 🍹 Why did the margarita refuse to go to the party? Because it was already salty enough!
10. Why did the margarita get a divorce? Because it was always sour!
11. What do you call a margarita that’s made with low-quality ingredients? A subpar-rita!
12. Why did the margarita get a promotion? Because it was a high-class margarita!
13. What do you call a margarita that’s served in a glass that’s too small? A thimble-rita!
14. Why did the margarita get lost in the jungle? Because it couldn’t find its way out of the lime-light!
15. What do you call a margarita that’s made with green tomatoes? A Verde-rita!
16. Why did the margarita get a haircut? Because it was feeling a little edgy!
17. What do you call a margarita that’s made with too much alcohol? A margarita on steroids!
18. Why did the margarita get a speeding ticket? Because it was driving under the influence of salt!
19. What do you call a margarita that’s made with only one ingredient? A single-malt-rita!
20. 🍸 Why did the margarita get arrested? Because it was causing a salty disturbance!

Aperol Spritz: A Summer Spritzer with a Bitter Twist

1. What do you call an Aperol Spritz made with a dash of sarcasm? A bitter quip.
2. Why did the Aperol Spritz cross the road? To get to the punchline. 🍹
3. What’s the difference between an Aperol Spritz and a margarita? One is a bitter truth, the other is a salty tang.
4. Why are Aperol Spritz so popular at parties? Because they’re a real party starter!
5. What do you call an Aperol Spritz that’s always late? A procrastinating spritzer. ⌚
6. Why did the Aperol Spritz get lost? Because it took the long, bitter route.
7. What’s an Aperol Spritz’s favorite book? “The Great Spritzby”! 📚
8. Why do Aperol Spritz love to tell jokes? Because they’re a real punchline!
9. What do you get when you mix an Aperol Spritz with a can of worms? A very bitter experience. 🪱
10. Why are Aperol Spritz so good at math? Because they can count on their bitterness to catch your attention.
11. What’s the best way to enjoy an Aperol Spritz? In a tall glass, bitter-ly sipping it all down.
12. Why are Aperol Spritz so handsome? Because they’re the belle of the bitter-ball! 💃🕺
13. What’s the Aperol Spritz’s spirit animal? A grumpy old owl. 🦉
14. Why did the Aperol Spritz fall out of the tree? Because it couldn’t hold its bitter.
    🌲
15. What do you call an Aperol Spritz that’s always running late? A procrastinating spritzer. ⏰
16. Why was the Aperol Spritz such a good detective? Because it could always find the culprit – bitterness. 🔍
17. What’s an Aperol Spritz’s favorite type of music? Bitter-sweet symphony. 🎶
18. Why are Aperol Spritz so good at golf? Because they always have a bitter swing. ⛳
19. What’s the Aperol Spritz’s favorite type of puzzle? Cross-bitter. 🧩
20. Why are Aperol Spritz so good at bowling? Because they know how to split-bitter! 🎳

Old Fashioned: A Classic Cocktail with a Boozy Bite

• What do you call a cocktail that’s always laughing? A jester!
• Why did the bartender get lost? Because he took the wrong turn at the rum bar.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always in a good mood? A happy hour! 🙂
• Why did the cocktail cross the road? To get to the other side of the glass!
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always getting into trouble? A reckless martini.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you laugh? A pun-tini!
• Why did the bartender quit his job? Because he couldn’t stand the mixers!
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always getting into fights? A belligerent bellini.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you blush? A shy rye.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always disappearing? A vanishing vodka.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you wish for more? A tempting tequila.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you laugh? A hysterical hurricane.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you dance? A rumbustious rum punch.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you sing? A merry margarita.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you relax? A tranquil tonic.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you feel good? A blissful bourbon.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you think? A contemplative cosmopolitan.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you feel adventurous? A daring daiquiri.
• What do you call a cocktail that’s always making you feel classy? An elegant elderflower.

Negroni: A Stirring Mix of Bittersweet and Strong

1. What do you call a Negroni that’s been shaken, not stirred? A stirred Negroni!
2. Why did the Negroni cross the road? To get to the bitter end!
3. What’s the difference between a Negroni and a Sazerac? About 2 ounces of whiskey!
4. What do you get when you cross a Negroni with a Daiquiri? A Campari Sour!
5. Why did the bartender refuse to serve a Negroni? Because it was too strong!
6. What do you call a Negroni that’s always happy? A Negroni Sbagliato!
7. Why did the Negroni get lost in the woods? Because it couldn’t find its compass! 🌲
8. What’s the best way to drink a Negroni? Straight up!
9. What do you call a Negroni that’s been left out in the sun too long? A Negroni spritz! ☀️
   🍹10. What’s the difference between a Negroni and a Manhattan? About 2 ounces of Campari!
10. What do you get when you mix a Negroni with a margarita? A Negroni Margarita!
11. Why did the Negroni get a speeding ticket? Because it was going too Campari!
12. What do you call a Negroni that’s been sitting on the bar too long? A Negroni ‘neat’!
13. Why did the Negroni get invited to the party? Because it was the life of the bitter!
14. What’s the difference between a Negroni and a martini? About 2 ounces of vermouth!
15. Why did the Negroni get a promotion? Because it was always mixing things up!
16. What do you call a Negroni that’s been left out in the cold? A Negroni sbagliato con gelato! 🥶
17. Why did the Negroni get a tattoo? Because it wanted to be bitter forever!
18. What do you call a Negroni that’s been sitting on the shelf for too long? A Negroni vintage! 🍷
19. Why did the Negroni get a divorce? Because it was always arguing with its Campari!

Manhattan: A Sophisticated Sip with a Rye Twist

1. What do you call a Manhattan that’s always late? A tar Manhattan.
2. Why did the Manhattan cross the road? To get to the rye side.
3. What do you call a Manhattan with a bad attitude? A sassy Manhattan.
4. What do you call a Manhattan that’s too sweet? A sugary Manhattan.
5. What do you call a Manhattan that’s too sour? A lemony Manhattan.
6. What do you call a Manhattan that’s too spicy? A peppery Manhattan.
7. What do you call a Manhattan that’s too weak? A watery Manhattan.
8. What do you call a Manhattan that’s too strong? A boozy Manhattan.
9. What do you call a Manhattan that’s just right? A perfect Manhattan.
10. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with bourbon? A Manhattanese. 🍹
11. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with rye whiskey? A rye-tastic Manhattan.
12. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with vermouth? A vermouthy Manhattan.
13. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with bitters? A bitter Manhattan.
14. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with cherries? A cherry Manhattan. 🍒
15. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with orange peel? An orange-infused Manhattan.
16. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with a twist of lemon? A lemony Manhattan.
17. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with a twist of orange? An orangey Manhattan.
18. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with a twist of both lemon and orange? A citrusy Manhattan.
19. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with a twist of grapefruit? A grapefruity Manhattan.
20. What do you call a Manhattan that’s made with a twist of lime? A limey Manhattan. 🍋

Mojito: A Refreshing Rum Rush with a Cuban Kick

1. What do you call a mojito that’s been out in the sun too long? A sun-soaked slurpee.
2. Why did the mojito cross the road? To get to the other lime.
3. What’s a mojitos favorite dance move? The lime-light.
4. Why are mojitos so popular with pirates? Because they’re rum-tastic! 🍹
5. What do you call a mojito that’s always getting into trouble? A rebel with a drink.
6. What’s the difference between a mojito and a pirate? One has a Cuban kick, the other has a wooden leg.
7. Why did the mojito get arrested? For being too refreshing. 🧊
8. What do you call a mojito that’s gone bad? A sourpuss.
9. What’s a mojito’s favorite holiday? Lime-dependence Day.
10. Why did the mojito get a sunburn? Because it was out in the sun too mint-ch.
11. What do you call a mojito with too much sugar? A sweet-toothache.
12. Why did the mojito get lost? Because it didn’t have a map or a compass. 🧭
13. What do you call a mojito that’s always up for a good time? A party-mojito. 💃
14. Why did the mojito go to the doctor? Because it was feeling lime-ited.
15. What’s a mojito’s favorite karaoke song? “Lime-light” by The Who. 🎤
16. Why did the mojito get a speeding ticket? Because it was cruising too mint-ch.
17. What do you call a mojito that’s always on the go? A jet-setting sipper. ✈️
18. Why did the mojito get a tattoo? Because it wanted to be mint-marked.
19. What do you call a mojito that’s always getting into bar fights? A punch-tastic party-starter. 🥊
20. Why did the mojito get a divorce? Because it was too sour and bitter. 💔

Daiquiri: A Classic Rum Cocktail with a Zesty Twist

1. What do you call a daiquiri that’s always ready for a good time? A party-quari!
2. Why did the daiquiri join a dance class? To learn how to shake it! 🍹
3. What do you get when you cross a daiquiri with a superhero? A super-quari!
4. Why did the daiquiri get lost? Because it couldn’t find its way out of the blender!
5. What do you call a daiquiri with a bad attitude? A sour-quari. 🍋
6. What do you get when you combine a daiquiri with a fruit salad? A fruitastic-quari!
7. Why did the bartender go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little quari-ous. 🩺
8. What do you call a daiquiri that’s always on time? A punctual-quari!
9. Why did the daiquiri go to the bank? To get a lime-it! 💰
10. What do you call a daiquiri that’s always happy to see you? A merry-quari! 😊
11. What do you get when you cross a daiquiri with a beach party? A summer-quari! 🏝️
12. What do you call a daiquiri that’s always getting into trouble? A naughty-quari!
13. What do you get when you combine a daiquiri with a mystery novel? A who-dunit-quari! 🔎
14. Why did the daiquiri get a library card? To check out some new recipes! 📚
15. What do you get when you cross a daiquiri with a math whiz? A calculatin’-quari! 🧮
16. Why did the daiquiri go to the beauty salon? To get a lime-light facial! 💆‍♀️
17. What do you call a daiquiri that’s always making jokes? A pun-quari! 😂
18. What do you get when you cross a daiquiri with a video game? A cyber-quari! 🕹️
19. Why did the daiquiri get a job as a security guard? To keep the party safe! 👮‍♂️
20. What do you call a daiquiri that’s always telling stories? A tall-quari! 🗣️

Mai Tai: A Tropical Getaway in a Glass

1. Mai Tai-ming the perfect cocktail.
2. This Mai Tai will make you Fiji-t for anything.🍹
3. I’m Mai Tai-tally in love with this drink.
4. Mai Tai fun, mai tai problems.
5. Mai Tai-king a break.
6. Mai Tai-licious!
7. Mai Tai-ger Woods is my favorite golfer.
8. Mai Tai-me out of this world.
9. I’m Mai Tai-red of these puns.
10. Mai Tai-king the easy way out.
11. Mai Tai-ny reasons to have this drink.
12. Mai Tai-ing charge of the situation.
13. Mai Tai-ny little helpers.
14. Mai Tai-king a stand.
15. Mai Tai-ing it easy.
16. Mai Tai-king the plunge.
17. Mai Tai-king a break from reality.
18. Mai Tai-king it all in.
19. Mai Tai-king care of business.
20. Mai Tai-king a backseat.

Dry Martini: A Shaken Delight with a Dry Wit

1. Why did the bartender put on sunglasses? Because he was shaking up some serious 😎 “sun”rises.
2. What do you call a martini that’s always in trouble? A “shaken not stirred” delinquent.
3. How does a dry martini get its “dry” humor? It’s a “bone” dry joke.
4. Why did the olive slip out of the martini glass? Because it was too “shaken” up.
5. What do you call a martini that’s lost its way? A “disoriented” libation.
6. Why are dry martinis like bad jokes? They’re both “bone” dry.
7. What’s the difference between a dry martini and a wet martini? The wet martini has a “sense of humor.”
8. Why did the martini get a headache? Because it was shaken too much.
9. What do you call a martini that’s always on the go? A “shaken” explorer.
10. Why did the dry martini cross the road? To get to the other “witty” side.
11. What do you call a martini that’s too serious? A “shaken” not stirred “drama queen.”
12. Why did the martini get a divorce? Because it was “shaken” up over its spouse’s “dry” sense of humor.
13. What do you call a martini that’s always getting into fights? A “shaken” brawler.
14. Why did the olive in the martini get arrested? Because it was “shaken” up for disorderly conduct.
15. What do you call a martini that’s always changing its mind? A “shaken” not stirred “flip-flopper.”
16. Why did the dry martini get lost? Because it couldn’t find its “witty” side.
17. What do you call a martini that’s always getting into trouble? A “shaken” not stirred “reckless” imbiber.
18. Why did the martini get a tattoo? Because it wanted to show off its “shaken” not stirred “skin.”
19. What do you call a martini that’s always bragging? A “shaken” not stirred “egomaniac.”
20. Why did the dry martini get a makeover? Because it wanted to improve its “shaken” not stirred “image.”

Espresso Martini: A Coffee-Infused Pick-Me-Up

1. Why did the coffee bean go to the doctor? It was feeling espresso.
2. What do you call a coffee break that’s all business? A bean meeting.
3. How does a coffee addict count their blessings? One sip at a time. 🍸
4. What do you get when you mix coffee and tequila? A cafe au shot.
5. Why did the hipster burn their tongue? They drank their coffee before it was cool.
6. What’s the best part about a coffee date? The beaning.
7. What do you call a sad coffee cup? A de-press-o.
8. Why did the barista get fired? They made too many bean puns.
9. What do you call a coffee with a lot of cream? A cloud drink. ☁️
10. What do you get when you cross a coffee bean with a rubber band? An espresso bungee.
11. Why did the coffee shop close down? Because it was always getting roasted.
12. What do you call a cup of coffee that’s always late? A procraffeination.
13. How does a coffee bean say hello? Bean there, done that.
14. What’s the difference between a coffee bean and a pea? You can’t mash a coffee bean.
15. Why did the coffee addict take up knitting? To make pour-overs.
16. What do you call a coffee that’s always changing? A bean-anza.
17. Why did the coffee bean get a speeding ticket? It was going over the brew limit.
18. What do you call a coffee that’s always getting into trouble? A bean-volent hooligan.
19. What’s the best way to make a coffee lover happy? Give them a hug and a mug.
20. Why did the coffee bean get arrested? Because it was steeped in crime.

Whisky Sour: A Tart and Tangy Twist on a Classic

1. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in a fight? A sour mash.
2. Why did the bartender get fired? Because he was too sour.
3. What do you call a whiskey that’s been left in the sun? A sunburn.
4. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the fridge? A chilled out! 🥃
5. Why did the whiskey cross the road? To get to the sour side.
6. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the ocean? A salty dog.
7. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the freezer? A frosty cold one.
8. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the microwave? A hot toddy.
9. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the dishwasher? A clean slate.
10. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the vacuum cleaner? A dust bunny.
11. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the washing machine? A laundry list.
12. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the dryer? A spin cycle.
13. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the oven? A baked Alaska.
14. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the blender? A smoothie.
15. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the garbage disposal? A waste of money.
16. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the attic? A dusty old relic.
17. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the basement? A moldy old relic.
18. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the garage? A rusty old relic.
19. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in the shed? A cobwebbed old relic.
20. What do you call a whiskey that’s been in a library? A bookworm’s delight. 📚

Bloody Mary: A Brunch-Time Classic with a Savory Kick

1. Bloody Mary? More like Hairy Mary, after that strong kick! 😉
2. It’s a Bloody Mary-thon! I’m gonna run right to the bottom of this glass. 🏃‍♂️
3. I like my Bloody Marys with a celery stick on the side. It’s the perfect way to get my greens. 🥦
4. What do you call a Bloody Mary with a lime wedge? A Bloody Margarita! 🍹
5. Bloody Marys are like best friends: they’re always there for you, even when you’re feeling a little rough. 👯‍♀️
6. I’m not a morning person, but a Bloody Mary can change that real quick. ⏰
7. I accidentally spilled my Bloody Mary on my shirt. Now I’m wearing a “blood-y” good time! 👕
8. Why did the Bloody Mary get banned from the tomato festival? Because it was too spicy! 🌶️
9. What do you call a Bloody Mary that’s been sitting out too long? A lukewarm bore. 🥱
10. I’m so excited for brunch, I’m already planning my Bloody Mary outfit. 💁‍♀️
11. I like my Bloody Marys like I like my men: tall, dark, and handsome. 😍
12. Why are Bloody Marys so popular at weddings? Because they’re the perfect way to start a new chapter… with a hangover. 🥂
13. A Bloody Mary is the only drink that can make you feel both refreshed and hungover at the same time. 🤪
14. What do you call a Bloody Mary that’s not very good? A bloody awful Mary. 🙅‍♀️
15. I’m not a big drinker, but I can always make an exception for a Bloody Mary. 🍹
16. What’s the difference between a Bloody Mary and a regular Mary? The Bloody Mary has the guts to stand up for what it is. 💪
17. I’m so addicted to Bloody Marys, I should start my own support group. 🤝
18. My Bloody Marys are so strong, they could knock out a horse. 🐎
19. Why did the Bloody Mary get a speeding ticket? Because it was driving under the influence of alcohol. 🚓
20. I’m not saying I’m a Bloody Mary expert, but I’ve had a few. 🍸

Cosmopolitan: A Pink and Pretty Party Starter

1. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s lost its fizz? A flat-opolitan.
2. Why did the Cosmopolitan cross the road? To get to the other side of the martini shaker. 🍹
3. What’s the difference between a Cosmopolitan and a Manhattan? About 100 calories.
4. What’s pink, fizzy, and makes you want to dance? A party-politan.
5. What do you call a Cosmopolitan with a twist? A Cosmopolitan with a lime. 🍋
6. Why did the bartender run out of Cosmopolitan glasses? Because everyone was having a cosmo-blast.
7. What’s the best thing about a Cosmopolitan? The second one.
8. What do you call a Cosmopolitan on the rocks? A cosmo-tini.
9. What’s the difference between a Cosmopolitan and a hurricane? A Cosmopolitan is pink, and a hurricane is beige.
10. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s been sitting out too long? A flat-liner.
11. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s too strong? A Cosmo-not-so-politan. 🙅‍♀️
12. What’s the best way to make a Cosmopolitan? With a smile. 😊
13. What do you call a group of Cosmopolitans? A cosmo-politan society.
14. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s been watered down? A cosmo-weak-politan. 💦
15. What’s the difference between a Cosmopolitan and a Long Island Iced Tea? About 30 calories.
16. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s been made with cheap vodka? A cosmo-politan-off.
17. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s been garnished with a cherry? A cosmo-cherry-politan. 🍒
18. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s been made with cranberry juice instead of lime juice? A cosmo-politan-off. 🤢
19. What do you call a Cosmopolitan that’s been made with grapefruit juice instead of cranberry juice? A cosmo-grapefruit-politan.
20. What’s the difference between a Cosmopolitan and a Bellini? About 50 calories. 🥂