111 Amsterdam Punts That Will Leave You Canal-ing with Laughter!

Prepare yourself for a hilarious journey through the charming streets of Amsterdam, where puns flow as freely as the canals. From the iconic Red Light District to the picturesque Anne Frank House, Amsterdam offers an endless supply of wordplay that will tickle your funny bone.As you embark on a cycling adventure through the city’s narrow streets, you’ll encounter a never-ending stream of puns that will make you laugh out loud. Whether you’re admiring the breathtaking views of the canals or exploring the historic Jordaan district, there’s no shortage of puns to keep you entertained.Join us as we dive into the heart of Amsterdam’s punny culture. Discover the Gouda times you can have in Punsterdam, savor the Dutch courage that fuels our hilarious puns, and indulge in the sweet treats of Stroopwafels with a punny side.From the iconic windmills that dot the Dutch countryside to the vibrant Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam has a pun for every occasion. So, buckle up, get ready to laugh, and let’s embark on an unforgettable tour of Amsterdam: the city where puns run deep.

Amsterdam: Where the Puns Run Deep

• I heard Amsterdam has a great sense of humor. 😉
• What do you call a Dutch person with a funny bone? A pun-isher.
• Why did the Dutch cheese get lost in Amsterdam? It couldn’t find its whey.
• What do you call a Dutch person who’s always cracking jokes? A dam good comedian.
• Why did the tulip fall over in Amsterdam? It couldn’t handle the puns.
• What’s the difference between a Dutch windmill and a pun? One mills grain, the other grinds puns.
• Why are puns so popular in Amsterdam? Because they’re kanal knowledge.
• What do you call a Dutch person who’s always telling corny jokes? A maize-ing punster.
• Why did the Dutch bicycle fall into the canal? It didn’t have a brake-through.
• What’s the best way to avoid a Dutch punster? Take the dam puns.
• Why did the Dutch farmer get lost in Amsterdam? He didn’t know where to turnip.
• What do you call a Dutch person who’s always late? A procrastin-dam.
• Why did the Dutch pancake flip over in Amsterdam? It couldn’t handle the puns.
• What do you call a Dutch person who’s always on the go? A roam-dam.
• Why did the Dutch coffee get arrested in Amsterdam? It was charged with caffein-ating assault.
• What do you call a Dutch person who’s always getting into trouble? A dam-sel in distress.
• Why did the Dutch bridge collapse in Amsterdam? It couldn’t handle the pun weight.
• What do you call a Dutch person who’s always thirsty? A water-dam-age.
• Why did the Dutch boat sink in Amsterdam? It couldn’t handle the puns.

Capital of Canals and Puns

1. What do you call a canal with a sense of humor? A capital of puns. 🎩
2. Why did the canal join a comedy club? To work on its punchlines. 👊😂
3. What’s a canal’s favorite aquatic activity? Stand-up paddleboarding. 🌊😂
4. Why are canals so good at jokes? They’re always channelling their wit. 🚤
5. What’s the difference between a canal and a comedian? One flows, the other cracks up. 😅
6. Why did the canal get fired from its job as a tour guide? It kept losing its course. 🤦‍♀️
7. What do you call a canal that’s always making dad jokes? A floating pun-ishment. 🙄😂
8. How do canals show their appreciation for a good pun? They give a standing ovation. 👏
9. What’s a canal’s favorite type of music? Canal-ing! 🎵
10. Why did the canal cross the road? To get to the other tide. 🚗
11. What do you call a canal that’s always up for a laugh? A jokester’s waterway. 🤣
12. Why are canals so good at storytelling? They’re experts in current affairs. 📚
13. What’s a canal’s favorite color? Aqua-marine. 🐬😂
14. Why do canals make such good puns? They’re always in contact with a current of witty words. ⚡️
15. What do you call a canal that’s always getting into trouble? A rogue waterway. 🤭
16. Why did the canal go to the doctor? It was feeling a little dammed up. 🤒
17. What’s a canal’s least favorite animal? A seal, because it always tries to steal their puns. 🦭
18. Why did the canal get invited to the party? It was known for its flowing sense of humor. 🎉
19. What’s a canal’s favorite holiday? April Fools, because that’s when they get to tell the best puns. 🐟
20. Why are canals so popular with tourists? They offer a unique perspective on the world and a constant stream of puns. 👀🗺️

Cycling Through a Sea of Puns

1. What do you call a tired cyclist? A Tour deSnooze.
2. Why did the cyclist get a flat tire? Because he didn’t have a spare!
3. What do you call a cyclist who can’t hold a conversation? A spokes-less wonder.
4. Why did the cyclist cross the road? To get to the other pedal. 🚵‍♂️️
5. What do you call a cyclist who always takes the long way home? A detour-minator.
6. Why did the cyclist’s bike break down? Because it was in gear-rest.
7. What do you call a cyclist who only rides downhill? A gravity-assisted rider.
8. Why was the cyclist arrested? Because he was wheelie-ing! 🏍️
9. What do you call a cyclist who can’t stop laughing? A giggle-watt machine.
10. Why did the cyclist get so angry? Because he rode into a headwind. 🌬️
11. What do you call a cyclist who’s always late? A pedal-tarder.
12. Why did the cyclist get a headache? Because he was wearing a helmet that was too tight! ⛑️
13. What do you call a cyclist who’s always changing direction? A wind-bag.
14. Why did the cyclist get lost? Because he didn’t have a handlebar mustache! Handle with mustache emoji 🏃
15. What do you call a cyclist who’s always getting into accidents? A crash-test dummy.
16. Why did the cyclist get a speeding ticket? Because he was riding at the speed of light! 📸
17. What do you call a cyclist who’s always complaining? A whine-o.
18. Why did the cyclist wear a life preserver? Because he was riding in the rain! 🌊
19. What do you call a cyclist who’s always getting lost? A trail-blazer.
20. Why did the cyclist take a nap? Because he was feeling wheely tired.

Anne Frankly, These Puns are Hilarious

1. Anne Frankly, I’m not the best at hiding, but I’m a pro at puns.
2. These puns are so bad, they’re Anne Frankly offensive. 🙈
3. What do you call a man who’s always making puns about Anne Frank? A diarist.
4. Why was Anne Frank such a good basketball player? Because she could shoot hoops and everyone would shout “Anne Frankly you’re a star!”
5. I was going to tell Anne Frank a joke, but she didn’t find it attic-ting.
6. What’s Anne Frank’s favorite drink? Diary Queen. 😂
7. Why was Anne Frank so good at playing hide-and-seek? Because she was always hiding.
8. What did Anne Frank say when she got her Hogwarts letter? “I solemnly swear that I am up to no hoodwink!”
9. I was going to make a pun about Anne Frank, but I decided not to. It would have been Anne Frankly offensive.
10. What did Mr. Frank say to Anne? “Anne Frankly, I’m proud of you.”
11. I’m not Anne Frankly sure about this joke.
12. What do you call a group of Anne Frank puns? A Holocaust of humor.
13. What’s Anne Frank’s favorite holiday? Pass-over.
14. What’s Anne Frank’s favorite subject in school? His-tory.
15. Why did Anne Frank get lost in the forest? Because she didn’t have a map.
16. What did Anne Frank say when she saw a spider? “I’m not scared of you. I’ve seen worse.”
17. What’s Anne Frank’s favorite type of music? Jazz. Because it’s all about improvisation.
18. I was going to make a joke about Anne Frank, but I thought it would be Anne Frankly inappropriate.
19. What do you call Anne Frank’s diary? A Write of Passage.
20. What’s Anne Frank’s favorite subject in school? His-tory. 😆

Gouda Times in Punsterdam

1. Gouda you have a great day!
2. I’m feeling extra cheesy today.
3. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
4. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
6. What do you call a bird with no wings? A walkin’ bird! 🕊️
7. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
8. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox!
9. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘
10. What do you call a snail that can’t make up its mind? A shell-abrator! 🐌
11. What do you call a cow that’s always telling jokes? A bull-comedian! 🐮
12. What do you call a bird that flies backward? A swallow! 🐦
13. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! 🪃
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐠
15. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox! 🌳
16. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘
17. What do you call a snail that can’t make up its mind? A shell-abrator! 🐌
18. What do you call a cow that’s always telling jokes? A bull-comedian! 🐮
19. What do you call a bird that flies backward? A swallow! 🐦
20. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! 🪃

Red Light District: Where Puns Get Spicy

1. What do you call a traffic light that’s always flashing? A spicy semaphore! 😁
2. Why did the pedestrian cross the road in the red light district? To get to the other side… with a side of puns! 🌶️
3. What do you call a cop who gives out tickets for bad jokes? The punisher!
4. Why are puns so good in the red light district? Because they’re spicy enough to make you blush! 🍆
5. What do you call a streetlight that’s always making jokes? A pun-light!
6. Why did the sesame seed get lost in the red light district? Because it couldn’t street its way around!
7. What’s the difference between a joke and a pun? A joke makes you laugh, while a pun makes you groan! 🙄
8. Why didn’t the traffic light get invited to the party? Because it was a real downer!
9. What do you call a red light district where all the buildings are on fire? A spicy block party! 🔥🔥🔥
10. Why did the traffic light turn on a flashlight? Because it was afraid of the dark!
11. What do you call a traffic light that’s always making faces? A signal-ing!
12. Why did the pedestrian cross the road twice? To get to the other side… and back for more puns! 🤣
13. What do you call a town where all the jokes are bad? Pun-ville!
14. Why are puns so popular in the red light district? Because they’re always in the right place at the right time!
15. What do you call a cop who gives out tickets for telling puns? The punisher 2.0!
16. Why did the pedestrian get a speeding ticket? Because he was caught crossing the street at the speed of light! ⚡
17. What do you call a streetlight that’s always making puns? A wise-cracking lamppost!
18. Why did the traffic light turn red? Because it saw a pun-isher!
19. What do you call a traffic light that’s always making groan-worthy jokes? A pun-ishment! 😖
20. Why did the pedestrian cross the road three times? To get to the other side… and then back for two more puns!

Van Goghs to Make You Giggle

• What do you call a painting by Van Gogh that’s been poorly framed? A Gogh away! 🎨🖼️
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get into a fight? Because it was all ears! 👂👂
• What do you get when you cross a Van Gogh and a sunflower? A Sun-flowery Gogh! 🌻🌻
• Why did the Van Gogh painting go to the doctor? Because it had a brush with death! 🖌️💀
• What do you call a Van Gogh painting that’s upside down? A Gogh upside down! 🙃
• Why did the Van Gogh painting become a lawyer? Because it wanted to argue with the judge! ⚖️
• What did the Van Gogh painting say when it was happy? I’m feeling Gogh! 😎
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get a job as a lifeguard? Because it was always keeping an eye out for waves! 🌊👀
• What do you call a Van Gogh painting that’s always arguing? A Starry Night Debater! 🗣️🎨
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get lost? Because it couldn’t find its way out of the Labyrinth! 🤔🧩
• What do you call a Van Gogh painting that’s in a bad mood? A Sun-flowery Gloom-Gogh! 🌻😞
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get a speeding ticket? Because it was going too fast Gogh the speed limit! 🚓🖼️
• What do you call a Van Gogh painting that’s full of holes? A Starry Night Swiss Cheese! 🧀🌌
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get a divorce? Because it wanted some Gogh-away time! 💔🖼️
• What do you call a Van Gogh painting that’s always hungry? A Gogh-rilla! 🍌🦍
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get a degree in history? Because it wanted to Gogh back in time! 📖🖼️
• What do you call a Van Gogh painting that’s always making mistakes? A Gogh-op! 🖌️❌
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get arrested? Because it was caught with its paws in the paint jar! 👮‍♀️🎨
• What do you call a Van Gogh painting that’s always getting into trouble? A Gogh-rilla warfare! 🦍💣
• Why did the Van Gogh painting get a job as a teacher? Because it wanted to Gogh to school! 🏫🖼️

Punting Puns Along the Canals

1. Where do ducks love to spend their money? At the quackers!
2. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle smile? Because it was two tired!
4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. Why did the tomato blush? Because someone called it a “cute-mato!”
7. What do you call a carrot that’s too small? A carro-tiny!
8. Why didn’t the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees! ☀️
9. What do you call a fish with no head or tail? A fishstick.
10. Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up some pants!
11. What do you call a lazy egg? An eggs-cuse!
12. Why did the computer become a vegetarian? Because it couldn’t stomach any more bytes! 🖥️
13. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
14. Why did the plant go to the hospital? Because it wasn’t feeling very green! 🌱
15. What do you call a bird with no feathers? A pluck-me-up! 🪶
16. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳️
17. What do you call a witch’s broom? A flying stick! 🧹
18. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌽
19. What do you call a fish that can’t swim? A sinker! 🐟
20. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 🚲

Stroopwafels: A Sweet Treat with a Punny Side

1. Why do stroopwafels love to tell jokes? Because they’re filled with puns! 😉
2. What do you call a stroopwafel that’s always getting into trouble? A waffle-offender! 😂
3. Why did the stroopwafel blush? Because it was caught with its filling showing! 😋
4. What do you get when you cross a stroopwafel with a donut? A stroop-nut! 🍩
5. Why did the stroopwafel get arrested? Because it was caught waffling on its taxes! 🚓
6. What do you call a stroopwafel that’s always exhausted? A tired waffle! 😴
7. Why did the stroopwafel take a nap? Because it was feeling crumby! 💤
8. What do you get when you divide a stroopwafel in half? Two equal waffling! ⚖️
9. Why did the stroopwafel go to the doctor? Because it had a sweet toothache! 🦷
10. What do you call a stroopwafel that’s always in a good mood? A cheerful waffle! 😁
11. Why did the stroopwafel cross the road? To waffle on the other side! 🚦
12. What do you get when you combine a stroopwafel with a waffle iron? A waffling good time! 🧇
13. Why did the stroopwafel get a parking ticket? Because it parked in a waffling zone! ⛔️
14. What do you call a stroopwafel that’s always on the go? A waffle-holic! 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️
15. Why did the stroopwafel join the army? To waff-le with the enemy! 💂‍♀️💂‍♂️
16. What do you call a stroopwafel that’s always late? A waffle-tard! 🐢
17. Why did the stroopwafel wear sunglasses? Because it couldn’t handle the heat! 🔥
18. What do you call a stroopwafel that’s always changing its mind? A waffler! 🔄
19. Why did the stroopwafel get a divorce? Because it couldn’t waff-le on its commitment! 💔
20. What do you call a stroopwafel that’s always getting into trouble? A waffle-ing juvenile! 👮‍♂️👮‍♀️

Dam Fine Puns

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
2. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
4. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
5. What do you call a tree with no leaves? A stick!
6. What do you call a bee with no wings? A walk!
7. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A carpet!
8. What do you call a snowman with no arms? A snowcone!
9. What do you call a cat with no tail? A bobcat!
10. What do you call a bird with no feathers? A bald eagle!
11. What do you call a dog with no legs? A sausage!
12. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
13. What do you call a pig with no skin? A sausage!
14. What do you call a cow with no head? A hamburger!
15. What do you call a horse with no legs? A rocking horse!
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟
17. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! 🦌
18. What do you call a tree with no leaves? A stick! 🌳
19. What do you call a cat with no tail? A bobcat! 🐈‍⬛
20. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A carpet! 🐑

Hash of Amsterdam Puns

1. What do you call a joint in Amsterdam? A hash-tag.
2. Why did the stoner get lost in Amsterdam? Because he took a wrong hash.
3. What’s the difference between a joint and a coffee shop in Amsterdam? One is a smokehouse, the other is a smokehouse. 😄
4. Why did the marijuana plant move to Amsterdam? To get high.
5. What do you call an Amsterdammer who loves puns? A hash-tagger.
6. What’s the best way to get around Amsterdam? On a bicycle built for hash.
7. What do you call a hashish-loving tourist in Amsterdam? A ganja-rista.
8. Why are the canals in Amsterdam so green? Because of all the hash.
9. What do you call a joint rolled with hash from Amsterdam? A high-ball. 🌿
10. What’s the best way to find a good hash bar in Amsterdam? Ask a local stoner.
11. Why did the stoner get a job at a coffee shop in Amsterdam? Because he could roll with the best.
12. What do you call a group of stoners in Amsterdam? A hash mob.
13. What’s the difference between a joint and a bong? A joint is a one-hitter, a bong is a home run.
14. Why did the stoner move to Amsterdam? To be closer to the source. 🤣
15. What do you call a stoner who’s always losing their lighter? A hash-hole.
16. Why did the stoner get a PhD in botany? To study the hash plant.
17. What do you call a stoner who’s always getting into trouble? A hash-ish.
18. Why did the stoner get a job as a tour guide in Amsterdam? Because he knew all the best hash spots.
19. What do you call a stoner who’s always broke? A hash-poor-ate.
20. Why did the stoner cross the road? To get to the other hash side.

Windmills of Punishment

1. What do you call a windmill that’s always in trouble? 🚓 A Windmill of Punishment.
2. 🌬️ Why was the windmill sent to prison? It was caught fanning the flames of revolution.
3. 👒 What do you call a Dutch windmill that’s always getting into fights? A windmill of pugnishment.
4. ⚔️ What did the windmill say to the knight? “Get ready to lose your windmill!”
5. 💔 What did the windmill say to the heartbroken lover? “I’ll help you find the right blade for your agony.”
6. 🎓 What do you call a windmill that’s always failing its classes? A floundermill.
7. 💰 What did the rich windmill say to the poor windmill? “I’m a high-roller, baby!”
8. ⚓️ What do you call a windmill that’s always getting lost at sea? A windmill of disorientation.
9. 🏰 What did the windmill say to the castle? “I’ll blow your walls down, I guarantee it!”
10. 💪 What do you call a windmill that’s always winning at arm wrestling? A windmill of strength.
11. 🛠️ What did the windmill say to the handyman? “Can you fix my fan, I’m feeling a little unhinged.”
12. 🎭 What do you call a windmill that’s always putting on a show? A windmill of dramatics.
13. 🌉 What did the windmill say to the bridge? “I’ll put the wind in your sails, bro!”
14. 📚 What did the windmill say to the student? “I’ll help you turn those books into a breeze.”
15. 👑 What do you call a windmill that’s always bragging? A windmill of self-importance.
16. 🚨 What did the windmill say to the police officer? “I’m being harassed by a blade!”
17. 🌩️ What do you call a windmill that’s always causing trouble? A windmill of thunder.
18. 🌅 What did the windmill say to the sunrise? “I’ll make your rays shine brighter.”
19. 🎧 What do you call a windmill that’s always playing music? A windmill of rhythm.
20. 🤪 What did the windmill say to the comedian? “Your jokes are a-blowing my mind!”

Puns That Will Make You Lose Your Tulips

1. What do you call a flower that can’t decide what to do? 💐 Indeciflower
2. Why was the tulip embarrassed? 🌷 Because it was caught in a compromising pollen-ation!
3. What do you get when you cross a rose and a tulip? 🌹🌷 A bouquet of regrets
4. Why did the tulip join a band? 🌷 Because it wanted to be a pedal pusher!
5. What do you call a tulip that’s always late? 🌷 A procrastinating petal
6. What did the tulip say to the bee? 🌷 “Don’t bee a stranger!”
7. Why did the tulip go to the doctor? 🌷 Because it was feeling pollen-ated!
8. What do you call a tulip that’s always in a good mood? 🌷 A happy chappy flower!
9. What do you call a tulip that’s a terrible dancer? 🌷 A two-left-petal!
10. Why did the tulip wear sunglasses? 🌷 Because it was a little sun-flowery! 🌻
11. What do you call a tulip that’s always getting into trouble? 🌷 A petal pusher!
12. What do you call a tulip that’s always falling over? 🌷 A petal to the metal!
13. What do you call a tulip that’s always complaining? 🌷 A whiny petal!
14. What do you call a tulip that’s always gossiping? 🌷 A petal pusher!
15. What do you call a tulip that’s always trying to get attention? 🌷 A show-off flower!
16. What do you call a tulip that’s always falling asleep? 🌷 A petal head!
17. What do you call a tulip that’s always making jokes? 🌷 A petal comedian!
18. What do you call a tulip that’s always getting into trouble? 🌷 A petal pusher!
19. What do you call a tulip that’s always gossiping? 🌷 A petal pusher!
20. What do you call a tulip that’s always trying to get attention? 🌷 A show-off flower!

Rosana C. Nogueira

Especialista de Seguros | Key Account | Executivo de Negócios | Gestão Comercial