112+ Austin Puns That Will Leave You Laughing ‘Til You’re Blue in the Face

Howdy, y’all! Get ready to lasso up some side-splitting puns that’ll make you holler louder than a cowboy at the rodeo. From the quirky streets of Austin to the majestic Longhorn spirit, we’re about to embark on a pun-derful journey that’ll leave you grinning like a possum eatin’ persimmons.

I’ve gathered the cream of the crop, the very best Austin puns that’ll tickle your funny bone and make you the life of any honky-tonk. Whether you’re a native Austinite or just visiting the Live Music Capital of the World, these puns will show you why Austin truly is the punniest place in Texas.

So, buckle up, pardner! Let’s dive into the Lone Star State of hilarity and uncover the hidden gems of Austin’s pun-ny paradise. Y’all better hold on tight, because this rootin’-tootin’ adventure is about to get wilder than a rattlesnake in a cactus patch!

The Eye of Texas: A Punny Perspective

1. Why did the Texan lose his eye? Because he couldn’t see to Texas. 🧐
2. What’s the difference between an ophthalmologist and an optometrist in Texas? One checks your eyes, and the other prescribes Longhorns gear. 🐂
3. Why are Texans’ eyes so blue? Because they’re always looking up at the sky for armadillos. 🦔
4. What do you call a Texan with no eyes? Blind as a bat in a Lone Star cave. 🦇
5. Why did the Texan go to the doctor? Because he had a Texas-sized headache. 🤕
6. What’s the best way to get an Texan’s attention? Yell “Howdy!” really loud. 🤠
7. Why are Texans so good at making chili? Because they can’t see the beans. 🫘
8. What do you call a Texan who loves to dance? A “two-stepper.” 💃🕺
9. Why was the Texan afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? Because he was a little bit of a muttonhead. 🐑
10. What’s the difference between a Texan and a cowboy? A cowboy sings “Home on the Range,” while a Texan sings “The Eyes of Texas.” 🪕🎶
11. Why are Texans so good at hide-and-seek? Because they know how to blend in with the bluebonnets. 💐
12. What do you call a Texan who likes to fish? A “hook, line, and stinker.” 🎣
13. Why did the Texan cross the road? To get to the other brisket. 🍖
14. What’s the best way to make a Texan smile? Tell them a joke about Dallas. 🏙️
15. Why are Texans so friendly? Because they’re always waving at the armadillos. 🦔
16. What do you call a Texan who’s always getting into trouble? A “Lone Star lawbreaker.” 🚔
17. Why are Texans so good at cooking? Because they know how to make a mean chili. 🌶️
18. What’s the difference between a Texan and a Yankee? A Texan knows how to square dance, while a Yankee knows how to do the electric slide. 🤠🕺
19. What do you call a Texan who’s always complaining? A “Lone Star grump.” 😤
20. Why did the Texan get lost in the desert? Because he didn’t have a Lone Star State of mind. 🗺️🌵

Keep Austin Weird: A Collection of Quirky Jokes

• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time! ⌛️
• Why are colds bad criminals? They’re very hard to catch!
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
• Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳️
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ☃️
• Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake! 🍰
• What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
• Why didn’t the bicycle smile? Because it was two tired! 🚲

Austin Powers of Puns: Unleashing the Magic of Wordplay

1. Why did Austin Powers get lost in the desert? Because he followed the wrong map coordinates. 😂
2. What do you call Austin Powers’ favorite dance move? The Spychedelic Shag!
3. Why did Austin Powers cross the road? To get to the other “groovy” side.
4. What’s Austin Powers’ favorite kind of music? Electro Swing!
5. Why did Austin Powers get a parking ticket? Because he parked his shagmobile in a groovy zone.
6. What do you call Austin Powers’ nemesis? Dr. Evil-ution.
7. Why did Austin Powers join a yoga class? To achieve “om” shagadelic zen.
8. What’s Austin Powers’ favorite superhero? Shag-Man.
9. Why did Austin Powers go to the doctor? Because he had a shagadelic fever.
10. What’s Austin Powers’ catchphrase for a successful mission? “Mission com-pleted, baby, yeah!”
11. Why did Austin Powers become a magician? Because he wanted to perform disappearing acts.
12. What’s Austin Powers’ favorite type of humor? Groovy puns!
13. Why did Austin Powers join a bowling team? Because he wanted to knock down some pins.
14. What do you call Austin Powers’ pet cat? Puss in Spy Boots.
15. Why did Austin Powers get a tattoo? Because he wanted to have a permanent “oh, behave!” reminder.
16. What’s Austin Powers’ favorite drink? Shag-Martini.
17. Why did Austin Powers get a new car? Because his old one was too groovy to handle.
18. What’s Austin Powers’ favorite dance partner? Felicity Shagwell.
19. Why did Austin Powers win an award? Because he was the shag-tacular spy of the year.
20. What’s Austin Powers’ motto? “Keep calm and shag on!”

ATX Laughs: A Guide to Austin’s Best Puns

1. What do you call a Texan who’s always cracking jokes? A Lone Star comedian.
2. Why did the cowboy get lost in Austin? Because he didn’t know the longhorns from the short horns.
3. What’s the difference between an Austin lawyer and a rattlesnake? One will leave you bankrupt, and the other will leave you bitten.
4. 🍖 Why did the barbecue sauce cross the road? To get to the other brisket.
5. What do you call a musician who loves queso? A chipotle-loving guitar hero.
6. 🎵 Why did the singer move to Austin? Because he wanted to be where the music was sizzling.
7. Why is Austin the perfect place to get a tattoo? Because there’s no ink-redible artists anywhere else!
8. What do you call a Texan who’s always bragging about their food? A BBQ bore.
9. Why did the hipster move to Austin? To be a part of the mainstream.
10. What do you call a Texan who’s always getting into trouble? A longhorn ranger.
11. 🐎 Why did the horse cross the Guadalupe River? To get to the other neigh-borhood.
12. What do you call a Texan who’s always late? A slowpoke-a-dilo.
13. Why did the armadillo get lost in Dallas? Because he couldn’t find his arma-dillo-way around.
14. What do you call a Texan who’s always telling dad jokes? A longhorn punisher.
15. Why is Austin the best place to go camping? Because the stars at night are so bright deep in the heart of Texas.
16. 🎸 Why did the rock star move to Austin? To find a new sound…check.
17. Why did the Longhorn football player get lost? Because he couldn’t find the end zone.
18. Why did the Texan cross the border? To get to the other side of the Rio Grande.
19. What do you call a Texan who’s always drinking margaritas? A lime-y longhorn.
20. Why did the Longhorn Band get lost in Austin? Because they couldn’t find the right tune.

Lone Star Humor: Puns from the Heart of Texas

1. Why did Texas become a rodeo? Because there was a stampede of steers! ✨
2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo from Texas? A couch potato! 🌵
3. How does a Texan greet their friends? With an “Howdy, y’all!” 🤠
4. What’s the difference between a Texan and a tornado? A tornado takes off its boots when it comes inside! ✨
5. Why don’t Texans trust escalators? Because they’re always “mov’in” up! 🌵
6. What do you call a clever armadillo from Texas? An arma-dillo-gent! 🤠
7. Where do longhorns go for a haircut? The steer-ling salon! ✨
8. Why did the Texan get lost in the desert? Because he didn’t have his cact-us! 🌵
9. What do you call a Texan who loves honeybees? A beek-keeper! 🤠
10. How do Texans stay cool in the summer? They “fan” themselves with a paddle! ✨
11. Why did the Texan cross the road? To get to the other side of the “y’all!” 🌵
12. What’s the best thing about living in Texas? There’s always a BBQ to go to! 🤠
13. How do Texans say hello to each other? “Hey, y’all! What’s shakin’, bacon?” ✨
14. What do you call a Texan who’s always one step ahead? A lead-er! 🌵
15. What’s the difference between a Texan and a Mexican? A Texan says “Howdy,” while a Mexican says “¡Hola!” 🤠
16. Why are Texans so good at gardening? Because they have a green thumb and a ” hoe” sense of humor! ✨
17. What do you call a Texan who’s always in a good mood? A lonestar optimist! 🌵
18. Why did the Texan get a haircut? Because he wanted to get his “horns” trimmed! 🤠
19. What’s the best way to show your Texan pride? By wearing a cowboy hat and boots! ✨
20. Why is Texas the best state? Because it’s the Lone Star state, and the stars at night are big and bright! 🌵

Sixth Street Shenanigans: A Night of Pun-derful Comedy

1. Why did the street performer get arrested? Because he was caught juggling puns! 👮‍♀️
2. What do you call a comedian who loves puns? A pun-dit! 🎩
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! 🧪🔬
4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔
5. Why did the musician go to the bank? To get his quarter notes! 🎶💰
6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟🚫👁️
7. Why are colds bad criminals? Because they’re very hard to catch! 🤧🤧
8. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe! 🐝🤷‍♂️
9. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its back! 💻🤕
10. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ☃️💪
11. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 🚲😴
12. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick! 🪃
13. Why are elevator jokes so bad? Because they work on so many levels! 엘리베이터
14. What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta! 🍝
15. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems! 📚😭
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟🚫👁️
17. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ☃️💪
18. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 🚲😴
19. What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta! 🍝
20. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems! 📚😭

Deep Eddy of Puns: A Dive into Austin’s Witty Waters

1. Why did the Deep Eddy Pool turn into a comedian? Because it’s now a diving pool of puns! 💧😂
2. What do you call a punny swimmer in Deep Eddy Pool? A pun-thusiast! 🏊‍♂️🌊😂
3. How does Deep Eddy Pool keep its puns afloat? With its buoyancy in wit! 💦😅
4. What’s the difference between Deep Eddy Pool and a joke book? One is a wet chuckle, the other is a belly laugh! 😁💧
5. Why did the Deep Eddy Pool get a standing ovation? Because it was full of knee-slapping puns! 👏😂
6. What do you call a swimmer who loves puns? A pun-damentalist! 🏊‍♀️🌊😂
7. Why did the Deep Eddy Pool sign up for a pun contest? To dive into a sea of laughter! 😄💧
8. What’s the best way to cool down on a hot day at Deep Eddy Pool? With a pun-derful splash! ☀️💧😂
9. Why did the Deep Eddy Pool become a therapy pool? Because its puns are so healing! 😌💦
10. What’s the downside of swimming in Deep Eddy Pool with a comedian? You’re bound to get a wet towel! 😂💦
11. Why did the pun-loving swimmer get lost? Because they took a wrong turn at buoy pun! 🌊😂
12. What do you call a punny swimmer who’s always in a bad mood? A deep-sea pun-derer! 🐙🌊
13. Why did the Deep Eddy Pool get a magnifying glass? To find the pun-tastic jokes! 👀🔎😂
14. What’s the best way to avoid a punny swimmer? Don’t let them get their trunks in a twist! 🩳🌊
15. Why did the punny lifeguard keep getting fired? Because they couldn’t keep their jokes afloat! 🌊😅
16. What’s the difference between a Deep Eddy Pool and a pun? One’s a place to swim, the other’s a place to dive into laughter! 🤣💦
17. Why did the Deep Eddy Pool get a new diving board? Because the old one was too pun-y! 🌊😂
18. What’s the best way to cool down on a hot day at Deep Eddy Pool? With a pun-derful splash! ☀️💧😂
19. What do you call a swimmer who loves puns? A pun-damentalist! 🏊‍♀️🌊😂
20. Why did the pun-loving swimmer get lost? Because they took a wrong turn at buoy pun! 🌊😂

Barton Creek Quips: Nature’s Puns on Display

1. What do you call a tree that’s always making bad jokes? A sapling comedian. 🌳😂
2. Why did the squirrel get lost? Because he took a wrong turn at the acorn maze. 🐿️🌳
3. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato. 🦘🥔
4. Why did the deer get lost in the woods? Because he couldn’t find his “forrest” Gump. 🦌🌲
5. What do you call a bird that’s always late? A slowpoke. 🐦⌛
6. Why did the fish get in trouble? Because he was caught with his gills in the cookie jar. 🐟🍪
7. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. 🐄🚫🦵
8. Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey. 🐝💍🍯
9. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. 🍝🎭
10. Why did the worm go to the bar? To get a wormhole. 🐛👽
11. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. 🦌👀🚫
12. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well. 🍌🤕
13. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. ⛄️❄️
14. Why did the tree get a job? To become a lumberjack. 🌲🪓
15. What do you call a bee that can’t decide? A maybe. 🐝🤷‍♀️
16. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he’s such a fun guy. 🍄🕺
17. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk fly. 🪰🚫🕊️
18. Why did the turkey cross the road? To get to the other side of the gravy. 🦃🍽️
19. What do you call a lazy river? A snooze cruise. 🌊😴
20. Why did the echo get lost? Because it couldn’t find its own voice. 🗣️🎤🚫

Zilker Zingers: Puns that are as Cool as the Zilker Park

1. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟
4. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
5. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
6. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
8. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
9. What do you call a lazy egg? A couch potato.
10. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
11. What do you call a cow taking a nap? A bull-dozer.
12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟
13. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
14. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
15. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
16. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
17. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
18. What do you call a lazy egg? A couch potato.
19. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
20. What do you call a cow taking a nap? A bull-dozer.

South Congress Shenanigans: A Hipster’s Guide to Puns

1. What do you call a hipster who’s always on the go? A street cred-ible. 🤘
2. Why did the hipster get lost on South Congress? Because they were too busy looking for the next big thing.
3. What’s the difference between a hipster and a poser? About six months. 💅
4. Why did the hipster refuse to get a haircut? Because they wanted to maintain their follicular exclusivity.
5. What do you call a hipster who’s always broke? A budget bohemian. 💸
6. Why did the hipster cross the road? To get to the other side of ironic.
7. What do you call a hipster who’s always up-to-date on the latest trends? A trendsetter hipster. 👓
8. Why did the hipster go to the doctor? Because they had a vinyl headache. 🤕
9. What do you call a hipster who’s always talking about their favorite bands? A music snob. 🎶
10. Why did the hipster refuse to eat at a chain restaurant? Because they only eat at places with a “farm-to-table” approach. 🧑‍🌾
11. What do you call a hipster who’s always buying new clothes? A wardrobe minimalist. 🧥
12. Why did the hipster get a tattoo of a typewriter? Because they wanted to show their love of classic literature. 📚
13. What do you call a hipster who’s always trying to be different? A wannabe. 🎭
14. Why did the hipster open a vegan bakery? Because they wanted to appeal to the dough-minded. 🌿
15. What do you call a hipster who’s always talking about their favorite coffee? A coffee aficionado. ☕️
16. Why did the hipster refuse to drink tap water? Because they only drink artisanal H2O. 💦
17. What do you call a hipster who’s always reading books? A literary hipster. 📖
18. Why did the hipster get a pet cat? Because they wanted a furry friend that was also low-maintenance. 😸
19. What do you call a hipster who’s always talking about their travels? A globetrotter hipster. ✈
20. Why did the hipster open a craft beer bar? Because they wanted to be the hoppiest place in town. 🍺

University of Texas Puns: Where Longhorns Love a Good Joke

1. Why did the Longhorn hide behind the cactus? Because he wanted to go in-cog-nito!🌵
2. What do you call a Longhorn who can’t stop telling jokes? A pun-derstanding student!
3. Why are Longhorns such good quarterbacks? Because they have a great “horn”-ing instinct!
4. Where do Longhorns go to get a new outfit? The “Hook ‘Em” store!
5. What do you call a Longhorn who’s always lost? Un-steer-able!
6. Why did the Longhorn cross the road? To get to the other “side-line”! 😂
7. What’s a Longhorn’s favorite type of vegetable? Corn! 🌽
8. Why couldn’t the Longhorn stay awake in class? Because he was always “bull-dozing” off!
9. What do you call a Longhorn who’s always getting into trouble? A “hooked-on” student!
10. Why did the Longhorn get a sunburn? Because he was “grill”-ing outside! ☀️
11. What do you call a Longhorn who’s always on the go? A “running back”!
12. Why are Longhorns such good dancers? Because they have great “hoof-work”!
13. What do you call a Longhorn who’s always late? A “tardy-horn”! ⏰
14. Why did the Longhorn get a ticket? Because he was “speeding-horn”!
15. What’s a Longhorn’s favorite type of music? “Country” music! 🎶
16. Why did the Longhorn get a tattoo? Because he wanted to “ink”-crease his style!
17. What do you call a Longhorn who’s always getting into fights? A “bully-horn”!
18. Why are Longhorns such good singers? Because they have great “vocal chords”! 🎤
19. What do you call a Longhorn who’s always getting praised? A “well-done” student!
20. Why did the Longhorn get a job at a library? Because he wanted to be surrounded by “books”! 📚

Austin City Limits: A Musical Journey through the World of Puns

1. What do you call a musician who’s always lost? Austin City Limits.
2. Why did the ACL guitarist get a new guitar? Because he wanted to tune his riffs up!
3. What do you call a band that plays only puns? A dad joke orchestra.
4. Why did the drummer quit Austin City Limits? Because he couldn’t keep the beat. 🎸
5. What do you call a musician who’s always late? A delayed delivery.
6. What do you call a band that’s always arguing? A debate-able.
7. Why did the singer get a sore throat? Because he was singing all night long. 🎤
8. What do you call a musician who’s always getting lost? A lost cause.
9. Why did the musician get a new microphone? Because his old one was mic-ro-unusable.
10. What do you call a musician who’s always late? A tempo-rary inconvenience. 🎵
11. Why did the musician quit the band? Because he couldn’t find his notes.
12. What do you call a musician who’s always getting into trouble? A treble-maker.
13. Why did the musician get a new drum set? Because his old one was falling apart. 🥁
14. What do you call a musician who’s always making mistakes? A note-worthy blunderer.
15. Why did the musician get a new guitar? Because he wanted to string it along. 🎸
16. What do you call a musician who’s always arguing with the conductor? A disputable player.
17. Why did the musician get a new trumpet? Because his old one was brass. 🎺
18. What do you call a musician who’s always getting lost? A musical nomad.
19. Why did the musician get a new violin? Because his old one was out of tune. 🎻
20. What do you call a musician who’s always making mistakes? A note-orious misplayer.

South by Southwest Puns: Where Tech and Humor Collide

1. What do you call a tech conference where everyone’s wearing cowboy boots? South by South-west of Nashville!
2. Why did the programmer go to the doctor? He had a Silicon Valley Fever!
3. What do you call a hacker who’s always on the go? A travel router!
4. I’m so bad at coding, I had to ask a flowchart for directions 🗺️.
5. My antivirus software is so good, it could find a virus in a haystack!
6. What do you call a coding error that’s hard to find? A byte in the dark!
7. I’m a software engineer, not a magician. I can’t make your code disappear with a wave of my wand 🤷‍♂️.
8. Why did the computer science student get a haircut? To improve processor speed!
9. What do you call a computer that’s always breaking down? A Dell-i-cate!
10. I’m a programmer, so I know a thing or two about binary code. In fact, I’m 00001111% sure about it!
11. Why was the JavaScript developer so sad? Because they couldn’t find their semi-colon 😞.
12. I’m so good at coding, I can make a computer do anything. Even dance 💃!
13. What do you call a computer that’s always making mistakes? A bug-ridden beast!
14. Why did the computer scientist get lost in the forest? Because they couldn’t find the right algorithm!
15. What’s the best programming language for writing jokes? Pun-thon!
16. Why did the software developer go broke? Because they couldn’t make ends “meet”!
17. What do you call a computer that’s always running late? A procrastin-8-or!
18. Why did the database administrator get a sunburn? Because they forgot to put on their SQL-screen!
19. What do you call a computer program that can’t make up its mind? A flip-flop!
20. Why did the computer science professor get a speeding ticket? Because they were going “byte” over the limit!

ATX Code of Conduct: Rules for Punning in the Live Music Capital

1. If music is the food of love, puns are the punchline. 🎸
2. Why did the musician get lost? Because they were following too many bad notes! 🎶
3. What do you call a drummer with no cymbals? A musician without a beat! 🥁
4. Why did the guitar player refuse to wear socks? Because they wanted their strings to be open! 🎸
5. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can’t tuna piano! 🎹🐟
6. Why did the singer get a cold? Because they overused their vocal cords! 🎤🤒
7. What do you call a band that steals all your songs? A cover band! 🤫🎵
8. Why did the music producer quit their job? Because they were always hitting a sour note! 🎶❌
9. How do you make a jazz musician laugh? Tell them a minor chord! 🎷😅
10. Why did the DJ get fired? Because they kept dropping the beats! 🎛️📉
11. What’s the difference between a good and a bad musician? One plays all the right notes, and the other one plays all the wrong notes. 🎶👍👎
12. Why did the trumpet player quit the band? Because they couldn’t hold their notes! 🎺❌
13. What do you call a violin that’s always out of tune? A fiddle-stick! 🎻😅
14. Why did the choir sing so badly? Because they were off-key-board! 🎹🎵
15. What do you call a musician who’s always late? A tempo-rary musician! 🏃‍♂️🎶
16. Why did the guitar player cross the road? To get to the other fret! 🎸🛣️
17. What do you call a musician who loves to play the same song over and over? A repeatologist! 🔁🎹
18. Why did the drummer get arrested? Because he was caught beating his sticks! 🥁👮‍♂️
19. What do you call a singer who can’t stay in tune? A tone-deaf singer! 🎤❌
20. Why did the music teacher lose their job? Because they kept making treble! 🎶😅