113+ Simply Ducky Puns That Will Quack You Up!

Buckle up, folks, because we’re diving into a world of knee-slapping humor that will leave you howling at the moon! Join me on this rib-tickling journey as we delve into the realm of dick puns.Imagine two guys waltzing into a bar, and one of them can’t quite keep it up. What’s the deal? Well, let’s just say he’s a little stiff! And if you’re looking for a pun that’s as sharp as a boomerang, here you go: What do you call a boomerang that never returns? A stick!Get ready to reel in some laughter with this fishy pun: What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! Talk about swimming in the shallow end of the pun pool. And for those who prefer their puns a little more gamey, here’s one for you: What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!But wait, there’s more! Let’s take it up a notch with a pun that’s as legless as a couch potato: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea! And if you’re looking for a pun that’s downright creepy, sink your teeth into this one: What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers? A zombie deer!Now, let’s hop on over to Australia for some kangaroo-sized puns. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! And if you’ve got a kangaroo that can’t seem to get its bounce on, you might have a pouch potato with no bounce! But fear not, boxing enthusiasts, because we’ve got a pun for you too: What do you call a kangaroo that loves to box? A marsupial Muhammad Ali!And for those kangaroos who always seem to be lost, well, they must be roo-tless travelers! But if math is more your thing, then you’ll appreciate this one: What do you call a kangaroo that’s really good at math? A kang-aroo! And just for fun, here’s one for the kangaroos who can’t quite grasp the concept: What do you call a kangaroo that’s really bad at math? A kang-a-don’t!Last but not least, let’s not forget the kangaroos who just can’t sit still: What do you call a kangaroo that’s always hopping around? A kang-a-roo-roo-roo! And for those kangaroos who are always causing trouble, well, they must be kang-a-roo-gues!So there you have it, folks! A smorgasbord of dick puns that will make you giggle yourself silly. Enjoy the laughter, and remember, it’s all in good fun!

Two guys walk into a bar, one of them is a little stiff!

• Why couldn’t the scarecrow win an award? Because he was too stiff!
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
• Why did the scarecrow get lost? Because he didn’t have a map!
• What do you call a skeleton that can’t swim? A sinker!
• Why was the broom late for work? It overslept! 🧹
• What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
• Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate his food before it was cool!
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
• Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
• What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
• Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
• Why did the turtle get arrested? For shell-abration!
• What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost! 🐧
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! 🪃
• Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 😴
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐠

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
2. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
3. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
4. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
5. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
6. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
9. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time! 😂
10. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
12. What do you call a kangaroo that can’t jump? A pouch potato! 🦘
13. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄️
14. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
15. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐠
17. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time! ⌚️
18. What do you call a kangaroo that can’t jump? A pouch potato! 🦘
19. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe! 🐝
20. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ❄️

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!

1. Why did the fish get a traffic ticket? Because he was caught speeding in a school zone.
2. What do you call a fish that’s always making jokes? A fishing comedian!
3. What do you call a fish with no scales? Flounder.
4. Why couldn’t the fish tell a joke? He didn’t have a punchline!
5. How do you fix a cracked fish? With sea-ment. 🐟
6. What do you call a fish that’s always late? A slow-poke-fish.
7. Why did the fish cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!
8. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
9. What do you call a fish that can’t swim? A sinker.
10. Why did the fish go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a bit scaley.
11. What do you call a fish that’s always getting into trouble? A carpfish!
12. Why did the fish wear a vest? To keep his scales warm! 🐠
13. What do you call a fish that’s always lost? Dory.
14. What do you call a fish with a suit? A business-fish.
15. Why did the fish blush? Because he saw the coral reef!
16. What do you call a fish that’s always laughing? A clownfish!
17. Why did the fish get a job at the aquarium? Because he was a great showman!
18. What do you call a fish that’s always sleeping? A snooze-fish.
19. Why did the fish cross the road? To get to the fish and chip shop!
20. What do you call a fish that’s always singing? A choirfish!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

1. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle smile? Because it was two tired!
3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
4. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
5. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
6. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ☃️
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
8. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
9. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
10. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
13. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
14. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else!
15. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
16. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
17. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
18. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
19. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
20. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea!

1. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
2. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea!
3. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers? Jailbait!
4. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers that can’t swim? Sink bait!
5. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers that can’t swim and is on fire? 🔥 Venison flambé!
6. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers that can’t swim and is on fire and is wearing a top hat? 🔥🎩 A fancy venison flambé!
7. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers that can’t swim, is on fire, is wearing a top hat, and is singing karaoke? 🔥🎩🎤 A venison flambé with a🎤🎤🎤 complex!
8. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers that can’t swim, is on fire, is wearing a top hat, is singing karaoke, and is wearing a tutu? 🔥🎩🎤🩰 A venison flambé with a🎤🎤🎤 complex and a tutu!
9. What do you call a deer that can’t swim? Bambi on ice!
10. What do you call a deer with antlers that are too small? A short stack!
11. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble? A black sheep!
12. What do you call a deer that’s always late? A slow poke!
13. What do you call a deer that’s always getting lost? A lost cause!
14. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into fights? A bully!
15. What do you call a deer that’s always making jokes? A pun-deer!
16. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble with the law? A criminal mastermind!
17. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble with the law and is also a pun-deer? A criminal mastermind with a pun-deer-ful sense of humor!
18. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble with the law, is also a pun-deer, and is also a vegan? A criminal mastermind with a pun-deer-ful sense of humor and a heart of gold!
19. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble with the law, is also a pun-deer, is also a vegan, and is also a marathon runner? A criminal mastermind with a pun-deer-ful sense of humor, a heart of gold, and a pair of lightning-fast hooves!
20. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble with the law, is also a pun-deer, is also a vegan, is also a marathon runner, and is also a rocket scientist? A criminal mastermind with a pun-deer-ful sense of humor, a heart of gold, a pair of lightning-fast hooves, and a brain the size of a planet!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no antlers? A zombie deer!

1. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
2. What do you call a deer with no legs? Still no idea!
3. What do you call a deer with no antlers? A doe-nut!
   🧟🦌
4. What do you call a zombie deer that can’t stand? A lay-down deer!
5. What do you call a zombie deer that’s always hungry? A flesh-eating deer!
6. What do you call a zombie deer that’s always thirsty? A blood-sucking deer!
7. What do you call a zombie deer that’s always lost? A wandering deer!
8. What do you call a zombie deer that’s always getting into trouble? A naughty deer!
9. What do you call a zombie deer that’s always making jokes? A punny deer!
10. What do you call a zombie deer that’s always late? A tardy deer!

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!

1. What do you call a kangaroo who can’t jump? A pouch potato!
2. Why did the kangaroo cross the road? To get to the other pouch!
3. How do you make a kangaroo tired? Tire-a-roo. 😂
4. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always in a bad mood? A pouch grumpy.
5. Why don’t kangaroos play poker? Because they always have a full pouch!
6. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always late? A tardy roo.
7. Why did the kangaroo get lost? Because he didn’t have a map pouch.
8. What do you call a kangaroo who’s good at math? A kangarooma!
9. Why did the kangaroo go to the doctor? Because he was feeling pouch-y.
10. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always getting into trouble? A pouch punk.
11. Why did the kangaroo join the army? To fight for pouch rights!
12. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always hungry? A pouch potato. 😂
13. Why did the kangaroo get arrested? Because he was hoppin’ around without a permit!
14. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always running late? A tardy roo.
15. Why did the kangaroo get a haircut? Because he wanted to look pouch-ier.
16. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always bragging? A kangaroo-braggart.
17. Why did the kangaroo get lost? Because he didn’t have a map pouch.
18. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always getting into trouble? A pouch delinquent.
19. Why did the kangaroo go to the doctor? Because he was feeling pouch-y. 😂
20. What do you call a kangaroo who’s always making excuses? A pouch alibi.

What do you call a kangaroo that can’t jump? A pouch potato with no bounce!

1. What do you call a kangaroo with no arms? A pouch potato with no bounce!
2. Why did the kangaroo get lost? Because it couldn’t keep up with the hopping!
3. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always hungry? A pouch potato with a never-ending munch!
4. What do you call a kangaroo that loves to dance? A pouch potato with a groove! 🥔💃
5. Why did the kangaroo get kicked out of the concert? Because it kept jumping on the stage!
6. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always late? A pouch potato with a slow hop!
7. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always angry? A pouch potato with a bad attitude!
8. Why did the kangaroo cross the road? To get to the other pouch!
9. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always laughing? A pouch potato with a great sense of humor!
10. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always sleeping? A pouch potato with a sleepy pouch! 😴
11. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a barista? Because it’s always hopping behind the counter!
12. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always in a hurry? A pouch potato with a fast hop!
13. Why did the kangaroo join the choir? Because it wanted to sing with its fellow pouch potatoes!
14. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always in a good mood? A pouch potato with a positive pouch!
15. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a teacher? Because it’s always teaching its pouch potatoes new things! 🦘📚
16. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always traveling? A pouch potato with a wander-pouch!
17. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a librarian? Because it wanted to read all the books in the pouch!
18. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A pouch potato with a rebellious pouch!
19. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a doctor? Because it wanted to heal all the sick pouch potatoes!
20. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always happy? A pouch potato with a smile in its pouch! 😊

What do you call a kangaroo that loves to box? A marsupial Muhammad Ali!

1. Why did the kangaroo get lost? Because it couldn’t find its pouch-uation.
2. What do you call a kangaroo that’s really good at basketball? A slam dinkaroo.
3. Why did the kangaroo cross the road? To get to the other pouch. 🦘
4. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A pouch potato.
5. What do you call a kangaroo that’s really good at boxing? A marsupial Muhammad Ali!
6. Why did the kangaroo get a job at the zoo? To be the pouch protector.
7. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always late? A jumpy procrastinator.
8. Why don’t kangaroos like to play hide-and-seek? Because they’re too easy to pouch.
9. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into fights? A pouch bully.
10. Why did the kangaroo get arrested? For having a joey-riding license.
11. What do you call a kangaroo that’s really good at dancing? A hip-hop-eroo.
12. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a bouncer? To keep the hoppers out.
13. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting lost? A pouch-headed adventurer.
14. Why don’t kangaroos wear shoes? Because they have built-in slippers. 🦘
15. What do you call a kangaroo that’s into fashion? A pouch-ential style icon.
16. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a model? To show off its pouch-tastic beauty.
17. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting sick? A pouch-chondriac.
18. Why did the kangaroo get fired from its job? For being too jumpy.
19. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A pouch-criminal.
20. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a teacher? To teach students about the importance of pouch-ing up.

What do you call a kangaroo that always gets lost? A roo-tless traveler!

1. What do you call a bird that’s always late? A slow-poke!
2. Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because it was afraid of its bark!
3. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 🚲
7. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
8. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳
9. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
10. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 🐄
11. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its neck!
12. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick! 🪃
13. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing! 🍅
14. What do you call a lazy egg? An egg-cellent excuse! 🥚
15. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it was full of problems!
16. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
17. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾
18. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi! 🍣 🐝
19. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
20. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! 🪃

What do you call a kangaroo that’s really good at math? A kang-aroo!

1. What do you call a kangaroo that’s really good at math? A kang-aroo!
2. What do you call a kangaroo that can’t stop hopping? A kangaroo-go!
3. What do you call a kangaroo that always wears a sweater? A ‘roo-sweater!
4. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always late? A kang-aroo behind!
5. 🦘What do you call a kangaroo that always gets lost? A kang-a-lost! 🦘
6. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always in a bad mood? A kang-aroo-ny!
7. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always trying to start a fight? A kang-aroo-licious!
8. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A kang-a-roo-bo!
9. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always stealing things? A kang-a-robber!
10. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always making jokes? A kang-a-comedian!
11. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always singing? A kang-a-roo-la!
12. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always dancing? A kang-a-roo-boogie!
13. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always sleeping? A kang-a-roo-zzz!
14. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always eating? A kang-a-roo-vore!
15. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always asking questions? A kang-a-roo-why!
16. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting lost? A kang-a-roo-bush!
17. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always making messes? A kang-a-roo-bust!
18. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A kang-a-roo-bbery!
19. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always playing tricks? A kang-a-roo-trickster!
20. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always trying to be funny? A kang-a-roo-morist!

What do you call a kangaroo that’s really bad at math? A kang-a-don’t!

1. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A couch potato roo! 🦘
2. Why did the kangaroo lose his job? Because he kept hopping around! 🦘
3. What’s a kangaroo’s favorite kind of music? Hip-hop! 🦘
4. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always late? A “kang-a-whoops!” 🦘
5. Why couldn’t the kangaroo keep up with the other animals? Because he was a “kang-a-slowpoke!” 🦘
6. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always hungry? A “kang-a-nom-nom!” 🦘
7. What do you call a kangaroo with no arms? A “skippy-doo!” 🦘
8. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A “kang-arooster!” 🦘
9. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting lost? A “kang-a-mixed-up!” 🦘
10. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always sleeping? A “kang-a-zzz!” 💤🦘
11. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always singing? A “kang-a-roar!” 🦘
12. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always hopping around? A “kang-a-bouncer!” 🦘
13. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always playing tricks? A “kang-a-prankster!” 🦘
14. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always telling jokes? A “kang-a-comedian!” 🦘
15. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always making excuses? A “kang-a-fibber!” 🦘
16. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into arguments? A “kang-a-squabble!” 🦘
17. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting lost? A “kang-a-confused!” ❓🦘
18. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always tripping over its own feet? A “kang-a-klutz!” 🦘 🤦‍♂️
19. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always making a mess? A “kang-a-sloppy!” 🦘
20. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A “kang-a-bad boy!” 🦘 😈

What do you call a kangaroo that’s always hopping around? A kang-a-roo-roo-roo!

1. Why did the kangaroo lose its job? Because it couldn’t keep up with the hopscotch.
2. What do you call a kangaroo that can’t jump? A roo-tless roo!
3. How do kangaroos communicate? Through pouch talk. 🦘
4. Why did the kangaroo get lost? Because it didn’t have a pouch navigation system.
5. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always in a bad mood? A kang-angry-roo.
6. Why did the kangaroo join a band? To play the hop-o-phone.
7. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always late? A kang-behind-roo.
8. Why did the kangaroo get a haircut? Because it wanted to be a kang-glam-roo! 🦘
9. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always on the go? A kang-a-gogo-roo.
10. Why did the kangaroo get a tattoo? Because it wanted to be a kang-inked-roo.
11. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A kang-a-roo-ster.
12. Why did the kangaroo get a traffic ticket? Because it was caught hopping without a license.
13. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always on the lookout? A kang-a-vigilante-roo.
14. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a bouncer? Because it had a kang-armoured security. 🦘
15. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always making excuses? A kang-a-roo-scuses.
16. Why did the kangaroo get a library card? Because it wanted to check out the latest kang-a-roo-mances.
17. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always playing tricks? A kang-a-prankster-roo.
18. Why did the kangaroo get a pet cat? Because it wanted to have a kang-a-roo-mance.
19. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into fights? A kang-a-roo-bully.
20. Why did the kangaroo get a job as a tour guide? Because it knew all the kang-a-roo-tes. 🦘

What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A kang-a-roo-gue!

• What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A kang-a-roo-gue!
• What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a bouncer? A roo-ster!
• Why did the kangaroo get lost in the supermarket? Because it couldn’t find the hops-isle!
• What do you call a kangaroo that’s always making jokes? A pouch-potato!
• Why did the kangaroo join the circus? To become a high-jumper! 🦘
• What do you call a kangaroo that’s always late? A kang-aroo-tine!
• Why did the kangaroo get a speeding ticket? Because it was caught hopping too fast!
• What do you call a kangaroo that’s always working out? A fit-roo!
• Why did the kangaroo go to the doctor? Because it had a pouch infection!
• What do you call a kangaroo that’s always getting into mischief? A kang-a-rogue!

Rosana C. Nogueira

Especialista de Seguros | Key Account | Executivo de Negócios | Gestão Comercial