Why did the smoker cross the road?
To get to the other side of addiction!
If you’re a smoker, you know that quitting can be tough. But don’t worry, we’re here to help with a little bit of humor. We’ve compiled a list of the best smoker puns that will make you laugh and forget about your cravings for a while.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy these hilarious jokes. And if you’re thinking about quitting smoking, remember that we’re always here to support you.
Why did the smoker get lost?
Because he was always following his nose!
What do you call a smoker who’s always late?
A puff-sniffer!
Why did the smoker get kicked out of the band?
Because he was always taking smoke breaks!
What do you call a group of smokers?
A cloud of addiction!
What do you call a smoker who’s always burning through money?
A chimney!
What’s the difference between a smoker and a chimney?
A chimney doesn’t cough!
Why did the smoker get a job at a crematorium?
Because he was always looking for a light!
What do you call a smoker who’s always trying to quit?
A quitter!
What do you call a smoker who’s always getting hurt?
A walking cigarette butt!
What’s the best way to make a smoker quit?
By giving them a reason to live!
What’s the worst thing about smoking?
The smell!
So there you have it, our collection of the best smoker puns. We hope you enjoyed these jokes and that they helped you forget about your cravings for a while. If you’re thinking about quitting smoking, remember that you’re not alone. There are many resources available to help you quit, and we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Why Did the Smoker Cross the Road?
- To get to the other cluck.π
- To pick up some butts.π¬
- To get to the smoke shop.π₯
- To ash his lighter.
- To butt into someone else’s conversation.
- To smoke out the competition.
- To find a filter for his thoughts.
- To get a light for his cigar.
- To see if the other side was lit.π‘
- To buy a pack of smokes.
- To ask for directions to the nearest smokehouse.
- To get some fresh air.
- To check out the smoke signals.
- To blow some smoke rings.
- To see if there was any smoke on the water.
- To get a lungful of fresh air.
- To take a puff and relax.
- To get a nicotine fix.
- To smoke out the vampire.π§ββοΈ
- To see if there was any smoke coming from someone’s chimney.
Why Did the Smoker Get Lost?
- He couldn’t find his way through the smoke screen.
- He got caught in a haze.
- He was all over the aSHes.
- He was way behind on his nicotine patches.
- He was too lit to function. π¨
- He couldn’t see the forest for the trees after all that smoke.
- He was a real drag to be around.
- He was feeling a little burnt out. π¨
- He couldn’t catch a break, even when he tried to quit.
- He was always getting his wires crossed.
- He was a bit of a hothead.
- He was always in a fog.
- He couldn’t keep his head above water, let alone his cigar.
- He was always up in smoke.
- He was a real gasbag. π¨
- He was always getting his wires crossed.
- He was a bit of a hothead.
- He couldn’t keep his head above water, let alone his cigar.
- He was always up in smoke. π¨
- He was a real gasbag.
What Do You Call a Smoker Who’s Always Late?
- A delayed ember.
- A puff procrastinator.
- A tardy torch.
- A nicotine night owl. π¬
- A late-arriving light.
- A smokescreen for tardiness.
- A butt-dragging bandit.
- A smoke-filled excuse-maker.
- A delayed drag queen.
- A lagging lighter.
- A stalled stogie.
- A slow-burning timebomb.
- A smoke-ringed straggler.
- A tardy tobacco fiend. π¬
- A nicotine-fueled excuse-merchant.
- A late-night lung lurker.
- A smoke-filled procrastinator.
- A delayed dope dealer.
- A slow-burning excuse-machine.
- A puffing phantom.
Why Did the Smoker Get Kicked Out of the Band?
- Because he was always blowing smoke.
- He couldn’t keep up with the beat, he was always ashing.
- He had a habit of taking smoke breaks during performances.
- He kept trying to light his guitar on fire.
- He was a drag on the band’s sound.
- He kept getting caught smoking in the wrong places.
- He was always getting burned by the band’s manager.
- He couldn’t sing without coughing.
- His voice was always hoarse from smoking.
- He kept getting lost in the smoke during concerts. π₯
- He was always getting high notes. π¨
- He couldn’t handle the heat in the kitchen. π₯
- He was always getting his fingers burned. π₯
- He was always getting smoked by the other members.
- He couldn’t keep up with the tempo.
- He was always out of tune.
- He was always getting lost in the smoke.
- He was always blowing hot air.
- He was always a drag on the band.
- He was always getting caught in the crossfire. π₯
What Do You Call a Group of Smokers?
- A gas station!
- The Marlboro Men Club.
- A puff party.
- A cigarette circle. π
- A smoke-out.
- A nicotine society.
- A smoke screen. π¨
- A vapor lounge.
- A smoke-filled room.
- A puffing posse.
- A pack of smokes.
- A tribe of smokers.
- A chimney council.
- A smoke and mirrors group.
- A filter forum.
- A nicotine nation. π¬
- A cancer cluster.
- A habit huddle.
- A smoke signal society.
- A pack of rats. ππ
What Do You Call a Smoker Who’s Always Burning Through Money?
- A fiscal flamethrower
- An ash-tronomical spendthrift
- A money-devouring chimney
- A smoke-filled money pit
- A puffing pauper
- A budget-busting blaze π¨
- A carbon-copy of a financial disaster
- A habitual smoke-and-mirror accountant
- A financially-challenged firebug
- A chronic ember-zzling addict
- A fiscal inferno π₯
- A smoke-induced financial crisis
- A cigarette-smoking centurion
- A tobacco-fueled money hemorrhage
- A nicotine-induced fiscal meltdown
- A perpetually smoldering monetary abyss
- A drag on the household finances
- A financial liability with a lighter
- A cash-burning chimney
- A fiscal firestorm
What’s the Difference Between a Smoker and a Chimney?
- The smoker breathes in the smoke, while the chimney lets it out.
- A smoker’s lungs are like a chimney: often full of soot.
- If you keep smoking, you’ll end up looking like a chimney: black and crumbling.
- A smoker’s breath smells like a chimney: smoky and acrid.
- If you’re a smoker, your house will smell like a chimney: stale and musty. π¨
- A smoker’s car will smell like a chimney: like an ashtray on wheels.
- A smoker’s clothes will smell like a chimney: like they’ve been hanging in a smokehouse. π¨
- A smoker’s hair will smell like a chimney: like they’ve been sitting by a campfire.
- A smoker’s skin will smell like a chimney: like it’s been cured in a smokehouse.
- When a smoker dies, they go up in smoke… just like a chimney. π¨
Why Did the Smoker Get a Job at a Crematorium?
- Because he was an “inhale-ant” crematorium operator π
- To “puff” and pass the ashes! π¨
- He was looking for a job that would “lighten” his mood π―οΈ
- To “smoke” out the competition π¬
- He wanted to “burn” through the work quickly π₯
- To “ash-sist” with the grieving process π
- Because he was a “flaming” good worker π₯
- He wanted to “smoke” out the competition π¨
- Because he was good at “putting out” fires π₯
- To “embrace” the heat of his new job π¨βπ
- To “hiss-sist” with the cremation process π
- Because he wanted to “burn” off some calories πͺ
- He was hoping to “ignite” his career π
- He wanted to “smoke” out the bad vibes π
- He wanted to “ash-sist” with the cremation process β°οΈ
- To “burn” through the work quickly π₯
- He wanted to “smoke” out the competition π¬
- Because he was good at “putting out” fires π₯
- To “embrace” the heat of his new job π¨βπ
- Because he had a “glowing” resume π₯
What Do You Call a Smoker Who’s Always Trying to Quit?
- A never-ending column of smoke?
- A fire hazard with a perpetual craving?
- A chimney on standby?
- A smoke signal that never goes out?
- A human air purifier with a malfunctioning filter?
- A walking bonfire?
- A teetering tower of ash?
- A perpetual cloud of secondhand shame?
- A smoker’s smoker?
- A nicotine-addicted arsonist?
- A burnt-out case with a habit that just won’t butt out? π₯
- A smoker who’s constantly trying to stamp out their habit?
- A reformed smoker who’s just one puff away from a relapse?
- A designated smoking area that’s always occupied?
- A smoker who’s never met a patch they couldn’t resist?
- A smoker who’s trying to quit…one drag at a time?
- A smoker who’s been smoking so long, their lungs are on fire? π₯
- A smoker who’s so addicted to nicotine, they’d sell their soul for a cigarette?
- A smoker who’s trying to quit, but can’t seem to catch a break?
- A smoker who’s always trying to quit, but keeps getting sucked back in?
What Do You Call a Smoker Who’s Always Getting Hurt?
- A lit-tle clumsy
- A burn victim
- A “butt” of all jokes
- A “smoke” signal of danger π¨
- A “hot” mess π₯΅
- A “charred” case
- A “cigarette” away from a hospital visit π¬
- A “lighter” for trouble
- A “match” made in pain
- A “tobacco” sore loser
- A “vape” case of bad luck π¨
- A “filtered” disaster
- A “nicotine” addict for disaster
- A “pack” of problems
- A “butt” of the jokes
- A “cancer”ous situation
- A “wheezy” conundrum
- A “coughing” fit of bad luck
- A “gasping” for help π¨
- A “breathless” situation
What’s the Best Way to Make a Smoker Quit?
- Tell them to quit cold turkey. π¦
- Offer them a breath of fresh air. π¨
- Show them how smoking is a drag. π«π¬
- Tell them they’re burning money. π₯π°
- Point out that every puff is a death warrant. ππ
- Explain that smoking is a hot mess. π₯΅π₯
- Ask them if they’re trying to suffocate themselves. ηͺζ―π΅
- Tell them their lungs are crying for help. π’π«
- Show them a picture of a healthy non-smoker. πββοΈπ
- Ask them if they’re trying to become a human chimney. π
- Tell them their breath smells like an ashtray. ποΈπ¬
- Ask them if they’re allergic to fresh air. π³π«π¨
- Show them a picture of a lung cancer patient. πθΊ
- Tell them they’re going to end up with a hole in their head. π³οΈπ
- Ask them if they’re trying to join the dead smoker’s club. β°οΈπ¬
- Tell them their smoking habit is a drag on society. ππ«π¬
- Ask them if they’re trying to become a statistic. ππ¬
- Tell them they’re going to end up with a smoker’s cough. π·π¨
- Ask them if they’re trying to become a walking pollution machine. ππ¨
- Tell them they’re going to end up with a hacking cough. ε³π¦
What’s the Worst Thing About Smoking?
- The worst thing about smoking? It’s a drag.
- Why did the smoker quit? He couldn’t hack it.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always late? A puff puff pass-tense. π¬
- Why did the cigarette get lost? Because it was in a maze.
- What do you call a smoke break? A puff-and-run.
- Why did the smokers get kicked out of the library? They were smoking the books.
- What do you call a smoker who only smokes half a cigarette? A half-smoker.
- Why are smokers so good at math? Because they can add smoke to their lungs. π¬
- What do you call a smoker who’s always in a bad mood? A puff-and-huff.
- Why did the smoker get a parking ticket? Because he was smoking in a no-smoking zone.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always getting in trouble? A puff-and-run.
- Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? Because he was following a smoke signal.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always late for work? A puff-and-huff.
- Why did the smoker get a speeding ticket? Because he was driving in a smoke-filled car.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always getting sick? A puff-and-cough.
- Why did the smoker get a sunburn? Because he was smoking on a beach.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always broke? A puff-and-huff.
- Why did the smoker get a divorce? Because his wife couldn’t stand the smell of smoke.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always getting in fights? A puff-and-brawl.
- Why did the smoker get a dog? Because he wanted something to smoke with. π¬
10 Puns About Smokers That Will Make You Chuckle
- Why did the smoker get lost in the forest? Because they couldn’t find their way out of the haze.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always on time? The ash tray.
- Why are smokers so good at math? Because they can always count on their butts.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always broke? A butt-head. π¬
- Why did the smoker cross the road? To get to the other side of the lung.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always getting into trouble? A hothead. π₯
- Why are smokers so good at puzzles? Because they’re always putting out fires.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always in a good mood? A happy-go-smoky.
- Why did the smoker get a job at the zoo? To keep the animals warm.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always trying to quit? A quitter.
The Ultimate Collection of Smoker Jokes
- Why are smokers always so calm? Because they have a littl’ puff in every situation.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always losing their lighter? A flame-thrower.
- Why did the smoker get a job at the tobacco company? Because he was a natural “puff”er.π¨
- What do you call a smoker who’s always on the go? A cigarette-smokin’ nomad.
- Why are smokers so good at math? Because they can easily calculate the number of cigarettes they need for the day.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always late? A puff-er-late.
- Why did the smoker get lost? Because he couldn’t find his way to the next cigarette.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always bragging about their collection? A cigarette snob. π¨
- Why did the smoker get banned from the library? Because he kept blowing smoke rings. π¨
- What do you call a smoker who’s always trying to quit? A butt-kicker.
- Why are smokers so good at puzzles? Because they can easily piece together a cigarette.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always short on cash? A broke-smoker.
- Why did the smoker get a job as a firefighter? Because he was always the first one to light up. π₯
- What do you call a smoker who’s always in trouble? A puff-law.
- Why did the smoker get a job at the fireworks factory? Because he was an expert at lighting things up.π₯
- What do you call a smoker who’s always getting into fights? A cigarette-fueled brawler.
- Why did the smoker get a job as a chimney sweep? Because he was always going up and down.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always on the lookout for a deal? A cigarette-bargain hunter.
- Why did the smoker get a job at the zoo? Because he was always around animals.
- What do you call a smoker who’s always trying to be healthy? A puff-olutionist.
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