125+ Hilarious Grandpa Puns That Will Leave Your Relatives Rolling

Attention, all pun lovers! Are you ready to embark on a knee-slapping adventure filled with the wittiest grandpa puns that will tickle your funny bone and leave you grinning from ear to ear?

Grandpa puns are the perfect way to show your appreciation for the wise, wonderful, and sometimes mischievous grandfathers in our lives. They’re a testament to their playful spirit and ability to find humor in even the most mundane situations. Whether you’re looking for puns to share with your grandpa, send to your friends, or simply enjoy yourself, I’ve got you covered with this ultimate collection of groan-worthy grandpa puns.

From jokes that will make your grandpa chuckle to puns that are so bad they’re actually good, this grand selection has something for everyone. So, get ready to unleash your inner punster and show your grandpa that you’re not afraid to dish out some humor. Remember, puns are like a fine wine – they get better with age, especially when shared with the people we love.

Grandpa Puns: The Ultimate Collection

1. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
2. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
3. What do you call a grumpy grandpa? Grumpy-pa.
4. Why did the grandpa cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
5. What do you call a grandpa’s favorite TV show? Grandpa’s Anatomy. 👴🏻
6. Why do grandpas love the past? Because it’s the only place they can be young again.
7. What do you call a grandpa who’s always late? A “grandpa tard.”
8. Why did the grandpa stop wearing suspenders? He couldn’t hold his pants up any longer.
9. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting into trouble? A grandpa-ranny.
10. Why did the grandpa get lost in the park? Because he took the wrong path.
11. What do you call a grandpa who’s a great cook? A grand chef.
12. Why did the grandpa go to the doctor? To get a checkup from the neck down.
13. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling jokes? A grand pun-dit.
14. Why did the grandpa cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken. 🐔
15. What do you call a grandpa who’s always smiling? A grandfather clock.
16. Why did the grandpa stop taking baths? He figured if he’s not going anywhere, why bother? 🛁
17. What do you call a grandpa who’s always asleep? A grand-pa-nap.
18. Why did the grandpa stop playing golf? He couldn’t keep up with the pace of play.
19. What do you call a grandpa who’s a great gardener? A grand tiller.
20. Why did the grandpa join a choir? To sing his heart out.

Puns That Will Make Your Grandpa Groan

1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
2. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well. 👴
3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
4. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.⛳
5. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
   🦌
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back to grandpa? A stick.
8. Why did the grandpa cross the road? To get to the other side of the street and give his grandson a heart attack.
9. What do you call a grandpa who always tells jokes? A pun-derful grandpa.
10. What do you call a grandpa who’s always late? The procrastin-pa.
11. What do you call a grandpa who loves to cook? A grill-pa.
12. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling stories? A tall-pa.
13. What do you call a grandpa who’s always laughing? A chuckle-pa.
14. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting into trouble? A trouble-pa.
    👴
15. What do you call a grandpa who’s always giving advice? A wise-pa.
16. What do you call a grandpa who’s always making mistakes? A goof-pa.
17. What do you call a grandpa who’s always losing things? A forgetful-pa.
18. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling jokes? A pun-derful grandpa.
19. What do you call a grandpa who’s always singing? A crooner-pa.
20. What do you call a grandpa who’s always dancing? A dancer-pa. 🕺

Grand Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
3. Why did the bird go to the doctor? Because he had a tweeting problem!
4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🍖
5. Why did the patient give his doctor an aspirin? Because he heard it was a “head-ache” reliever!
6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
7. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
8. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
9. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake! 🍰
10. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox!
11. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳️
12. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
13. Why did the coffee go to the police station? It was mugged! ☕
14. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
15. Why are trees so good at playing hide-and-seek? Because they have so much bark!
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
17. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake! 🍰
18. What do you call a kangaroo that can’t jump? A pouch potato! 🍖
19. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳️
20. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 😴

Knee-Slapping Puns for Granddad

1. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
2. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
4. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
5. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
6. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
7. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox.
8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
9. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
10. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
12. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
13. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
14. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox.
15. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
16. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
17. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!
18. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
19. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
20. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.

Dad Jokes for Grandpa

1. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? 🎃 With a pumpkin patch.
2. Why did the grandpa fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
3. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? 🇨🇭 I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
4. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling jokes? A pun-derful grandpa!
5. Why did the grandpa cross the road? To get to the other side of his driveway.
6. What do you call a grandpa who loves to play basketball? Pop-a-shot!
7. Why did the grandpa refuse to play checkers? Because he didn’t want to move backward.
8. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting lost? A grandparent-nesia victim.
9. What do you call a grandpa who’s always complaining? A grumpy grandpa!
10. Why did the grandpa stop wearing suspenders? He couldn’t hold his britches up.
11. What do you call a grandpa who’s always forgetting things? A senior moment-ist.
12. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling exaggerated stories? A tall tale teller.
13. Why did the grandpa get a hearing aid? Because he couldn’t hear himself snoring.
14. What do you call a grandpa who’s always sleeping? A nap-kin.
15. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling jokes? A grand-pun-dad!
16. Why did the grandpa cross the road with a chicken? To get to the other side of the coop! 🐔
17. What do you call a grandpa who’s always wearing a Hawaiian shirt? A grand-pa-loha! 🌺
18. What do you call a grandpa who’s always complaining about the weather? A grump-a-potamus!
19. Why did the grandpa stop taking bubble baths? Because he kept getting soap in his eyes.
20. What do you call a grandpa who’s always forgetting his keys? A lock-picker! 🔑

Puns So Bad, They’re Good for Grandpa

1. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!
2. Why did the grandpa fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
3. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling jokes? A grand-dad-joke-tor!
4. What do you get when you cross a grandpa with a computer? An iGrandfather!
5. Why did the grandpa get lost in the woods? Because he was all barked up the wrong tree!
6. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting into trouble? A geezer-in-crime!
7. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling corny jokes? A kernel of corniness!
8. Why did the grandpa cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
9. What do you call a grandpa who’s always late? The procrastinator patriarch!
10. What do you call a grandpa who’s always making funny faces? A gag-a-grandpa!
11. Why did the grandpa get a flat tire? Because he was driving his walker too fast!
12. What do you call a grandpa who’s always forgetting things? A scatter-brained geezer!
13. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling bad jokes? A joke-a-saurus!
14. Why did the grandpa get a tattoo? Because he wanted to be hip! 😎
15. What do you call a grandpa who’s always playing pranks? A grandpa-razzi! 📸
16. Why did the grandpa get a pacemaker? Because his heart wasn’t keeping up with his old bones! 😂
17. What do you call a grandpa who’s always gardening? A green thumbed geezer! 🌱
18. Why did the grandpa get a hearing aid? Because he kept saying, “Huh?”
19. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling stories about the past? A history buffoon!
20. Why did the grandpa get a parrot? Because he wanted a bird of his own feather! 🦜

Witticisms for the Wisecracking Grandpa

• What do you call a grandpa who can’t tell jokes? A mime-cracking grandpa!
• Why did the grandpa cross the road? To get to the other side of the pun-ishment! 😆
• What do you call a grandpa who is always telling corny jokes? A kernel of wisdom!
• Why did the grandpa stop telling knock-knock jokes? Because they kept giving him gray hairs! 😂
• What do you call a grandpa who is a master of bad jokes? A pun-derful grandpa!
• Why did the grandpa fall out of the tree? Because he didn’t see the punch-line!
• What do you call a grandpa who loves puns but can’t remember them? A pun-dementia!
• Why did the grandpa hide his jokes in the cupboard? Because his wife told him to “put the pun away!”
• What do you call a grandpa who is always late? A procrastinating pun-isher!
• Why did the grandpa cross the road with a wet pig? To go to the other side and make bacon! 🥓

Quips for the Quirk Grandpa

1. What do you call a grandpa who loves to make jokes? A quip-ster! 😂
2. Why did the grandpa cross the playroom? To get to the other slide.
3. What do you call a grandpa who’s always laughing? A jokester!
4. Why couldn’t the grandpa use his new cane? Because he didn’t have the cane-do attitude!
5. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling stories? A history “buff”!
6. Why did the grandpa get lost in the grocery store? Because he couldn’t find the aisle-way.
7. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting into trouble? A “paw”-lomino!
8. Why did the grandpa cross the road twice? To get to the other “sigh”-de.
9. What do you call a grandpa who’s always losing things? A “memory” lapse.
10. Why did the grandpa hide in the closet? Because he wanted to “clothes” himself from his wife.
11. What do you call a grandpa who’s always forgetting things? A “senior” moment.
12. Why did the grandpa put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted “cold” hard cash.
13. What do you call a grandpa who’s always bragging? A “grand” master.
14. Why did the grandpa get a hearing aid? Because he couldn’t “hear” himself think.
15. What do you call a grandpa who’s always making faces? A “grand” gesture.
16. Why did the grandpa start taking dance lessons? Because he wanted to “foot” loose and fancy free.
17. What do you call a grandpa who’s always singing? A choir “grand”father.
18. Why did the grandpa get a tattoo? Because he wanted to leave a “lasting” impression.
19. What do you call a grandpa who’s always playing pranks? A “grand” schemer.
20. Why did the grandpa put his dentures in a glass of water? Because he wanted to “soak” them in for later. 💧

Puns That Will Make Grandpa Smile

1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
2. What do you call a female kangaroo that can’t jump? A pouch potato. 😂
3. I lost my mood ring, and I don’t know how to feel about it.
4. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
5. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
6. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
7. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
10. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
11. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
12. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
13. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
15. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
16. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
17. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
18. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
19. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
20. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

Jokes That Will Make Grandpa Chuckle

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
3. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time! 🍎
4. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
5. What do you call a person who’s afraid of Santa Claus? Claus-trophobic!
6. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
7. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
10. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox! 🌳
11. What do you call a lazy egg? An egg-cellent procrastinator!
12. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
13. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time! ⌚
14. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
15. What do you call a person who’s afraid of Santa Claus? Claus-trophobic! 🎅
16. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
17. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄
18. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
19. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox! 🌲
20. What do you call a lazy egg? An egg-cellent procrastinator! 🥚

Humor for the Humorous Grandpa

1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? 😂 A stick.
2. What do you call a grandfather that can’t keep a secret? Grandpa blabbermouth.
3. Why did the grandpa cross the road? To get to the other slide.
4. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting into trouble? Grandpa-mageddon.
5. What’s the difference between a grandpa and a couch potato? One has a built-in remote.
6. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
7. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
8. What do you call a boomerang that you can’t throw away? A stick.
9. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
10. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling corny jokes? Grandpa yawn.
11. Why did the grandpa fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
12. What do you call a grandpa who’s always running late? Grandpa-time traveler.
13. Why did the grandpa get lost in the forest? Because he took a wrong turn at the agape.
14. What’s the best thing about being a grandpa? You get to be a kid again.
15. What do you call a grandpa who’s always making up stories? Grandpa fibber.
16. Why did the grandpa stop riding his bike? Because it was two tiring. 🚲
17. What do you call a grandpa who’s always forgetting things? Grandpa-nesia.
18. Why did the grandpa get a new hearing aid? Because he kept losing his old ones.
19. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting into trouble? Grandpa-proofing.
20. Why did the grandpa put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash. 🥶💵

Puns That Will Make Grandpa Go ‘Aw, Nuts!’

• What did the squirrel say when it climbed the pecan tree? Nuts to you!
• Why did the peanut go to the doctor? It was feeling nuts! 🌰
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
• Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
• What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
• What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks!
• Why are colds bad criminals? They’re hard to catch!
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi! 🍣
• Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well! 🍌
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
• Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
• What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
• Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!
• What did the dog say to the wall? Woof! 🐶
• Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its neck!
• What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!

Witticisms That Will Tickle Grandpa’s Funny Bone

1. What do you call a grandpa with a wooden leg? A pop-arrr!
2. Why did grandpa take a nap under the tree? Because he was feeling a little ‘shady’. 😂
3. What do you call a grandpa who loves to tell jokes? A grand-pun-pa.
4. What’s grandpa’s favorite magic trick? Making his dentures disappear!
5. Why couldn’t grandpa find his dentures? Because they were in his teeth all along.
6. What’s grandpa’s favorite dance move? The granny shuffle!
7. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting lost? A wander-grandpa.
8. Why did grandpa get a speeding ticket? Because he was driving an old-fashioned car!
9. What’s grandpa’s favorite type of music? Blue-grass.
10. Why did grandpa get kicked out of the library? Because he kept falling asleep during the story time.
11. What do you call a grandpa who’s always getting into trouble? A grand-misdemeanor. 😂
12. Why did grandpa take his car to the mechanic? Because it was doing wheelies!
13. What’s grandpa’s favorite TV show? Ancient Aliens.
14. Why did grandpa get a part-time job? To supplement his ‘grand’ income.
15. What do you call a grandpa who’s full of himself? A grand-egomaniac.
16. Why did grandpa plant a garden? Because he wanted to grow his own teeth.
17. What’s grandpa’s favorite charity? The Old Folks Home.
18. Why did grandpa refuse to go to the doctor? Because he didn’t want to add to the population.
19. What do you call a grandpa who’s always making mistakes? A grand-blunder.
20. Why did grandpa get a tattoo? Because he wanted to ‘ink’ it to the future.

Slapstick Jokes for Grandpa

1. What do you call a grandpa who loves to play with his grandkids? A paw-some gramps!
2. Why did the grandpa get lost in the grocery store? Because he couldn’t find the aisle of his dreams.
3. What’s a grandpa’s favorite kind of music? Oldies but goodies!
4. Why did the grandpa get a pacemaker? Because he was running out of time!
5. What do you call a grandpa who’s always up for a good time? A GRAND-pa. 😆
6. Why did the grandpa cross the road? To get to the other aisle of senior discounts.
7. What’s the difference between a grandpa and a babysitter? A babysitter gets paid!
8. Why are grandpas so good at telling jokes? Because they’ve had a lifetime of practice.
9. What do you call a grandpa who’s always bragging about his grandkids? A proud GRAND-pa!
10. Why did the grandpa get a tattoo? Because he wanted to be inked on his skin for his grandkids.
11. What do you call a grandpa who’s always losing his keys? A forgetful grandpa!
12. Why did the grandpa join a yoga class? Because he wanted to get in touch with his inner peace.
13. What’s the difference between a grandpa and a cell phone? A cell phone gets dropped more often!
14. Why did the grandpa get a library card? Because he wanted to check out some old books.
15. What’s the first thing a grandpa does when he gets into a new car? Adjusts the seat to max recline.
16. Why did the grandpa cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
17. What’s a grandpa’s favorite kind of food? Pie – it’s the one thing he can never get enough of! 🥧
18. Why did the grandpa get a pet turtle? Because he wanted to make a slow and steady companion.
19. What do you call a grandpa who’s always telling bad jokes? A grandpa-roonie!
20. Why did the grandpa get a hearing aid? Because he couldn’t hear himself snoring!

Bruna Silva

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