133+ Time Puns That Will Make Time Piece Out with Laughter!

Time puns: where do they go when they’re done? To the thyme machine! If you love a good pun and can’t resist a time-themed quip, then this blog post is for you. We’ll take a lighthearted journey through the world of time puns, exploring their witty wordplay and timeless appeal.From puns that will make you chuckle to jokes that will have you rolling on the floor laughing, we’ve got a pun-derful collection of time-related humor. Whether you’re a seasoned pun enthusiast or just looking for a good laugh, we’ve got something for every taste.So, without further ado, let’s dive into the wonderful world of time puns. Get ready to laugh, groan, and share these gems with your friends. It’s time to let your inner pun-isher shine! And remember, if you find a pun you particularly enjoy, don’t be afraid to ‘second hand’ it to someone else.

Tickled by Time: A Pun-derful Exploration

1. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 😂
2. Don’t waste time arguing with people who are just waiting to catch you in one. ⏰
3. A man was late for work because his alarm clock didn’t go off. He called his boss and said, “I don’t think I’m going to make it to work today. My clock didn’t go off this morning.” His boss replied, “That’s okay. We can work around the clock.” ⏰
4. What do you call a clock that’s been in space? A watch-it. 🛰️
5. My grandfather is 88 and uses a pacemaker. The other day he asked if he could make me a smoothie. I said, “Sure, but don’t get your heart set on it.” 🩺
6. I went to the doctor and told him I was feeling off. He said, “I’ll take your vital signs.” He came back later and said, “Your blood pressure is too low, your temperature is too high, and your EKG shows you’re having a heart attack.” I said, “Doc, I’m ticked off!” 😡
7. I’m so ticklish that my girlfriend can make me laugh by just flipping a switch. 💡⚡
8. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the pool? Bob. 🏊
9. I’m not a hoarder. I’m just a very selective collector of everything. 📦
10. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato. 🦘🥔
11. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse. But I’d probably get indigestion. 🐎🤢
12. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. 🐄🥩
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. 🐟👀
14. I’m so clever that I can even outsmart myself. 🧠
15. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. 🦌👀
16. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox. 🌳🗣️
17. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.🐝🤔
18. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 🐟👀
19. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. 🦌👀
20. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick. 🪃

Time Flies When You’re Having Puns

1. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
2. A clock is a device that turns time into noise.
3. A good pun is like a boomerang. It comes back to you.
4. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe. 🐝
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle smile? Because it was two tired.
6. How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
7. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi! 🍣
8. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon? It was all booked! 🌕
9. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
10. I’m an archaeologist. My career is in ruins. 👷
11. How does NASA organize a company party? They planet. 🪐
12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟
13. Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate his food before it was cool.
14. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
15. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 🌾
16. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato. 🦘
17. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. ☃️
18. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one. ⛳
19. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. 🐮
20. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its neck. 💻

Clocking In with a Smile: Time-Themed Jests

1. What do you call a clock that’s always running late? A watch-and-late.
2. Why was the clock arrested? For killing time. 🕰️
3. What do you call a clock that laughs at you? A time-out.
4. Why did the clock get a job at the bank? To keep an eye on the time.
5. What do you call a clock that’s always on time? A clock-work.
6. How do you fix a broken clock? With a watch-maker.
7. What do you call a clock that’s always losing time? A slow-poke.
8. Why did the grandfather clock get a job as a security guard? To watch the door.
9. What do you call a clock that’s always getting into trouble? A time-out.
10. Why did the clock go to the doctor? To get a watch check-up. 🕰️
11. What do you call a clock that’s always in a good mood? A happy time.
12. Why did the clock get a speeding ticket? For going overtime.
13. What do you call a clock that’s always on the move? A time-flyer.
14. Why did the clock get a new nickname? Because it was time for a change.
15. What do you call a clock that’s always late for work? A watch-it-doze.
16. Why did the clock go to the beach? To watch the tide.
17. What do you call a clock that’s always breaking down? A time-out. 🕰️
18. Why did the clock get a new job? Because it was time for a change.
19. What do you call a clock that’s always running? A watch-a-thon.
20. Why did the clock go to the party? To dance the time-warp.

Timeless Treasures: Timeless Jokes About Time

1. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
2. A man with a watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure. 🕰️
3. Why did the boy throw butter? He wanted to see a butter-fly! 🧈
4. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
5. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a pint of beer and a mop.” 💀
6. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
7. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved. 🌊
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 👀
10. I’m not a hoarder, I’m just a selective accumulator.
11. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. 🔬
12. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. 💪
13. Where do cows go to get a haircut? The “moo”vie theater. 🐮
14. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
15. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. 🐆
16. What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks. 🌴
17. What do you call a snowman that can’t swim? A drip. ❄️
18. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it was full of problems. 📚
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! 🐠
20. Why was the bicycle smiling? Because it was two tired! 🚲

Minute Marvels: Puns That Will Make You Watch the Time

1. Time flies like an error – it’s a BUG!
2. A clock is a device that tells you what time it is when you already know.
3. What do you call a watch that’s always right? A Rolex ⌚
4. I’m so good at telling time, I can tell you exactly what time it was when I was born.
5. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their watches are legendary! 🇨🇭
6. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
7. What do you call a clock that can’t be trusted? A watch that’s always running late! ⏰
8. I’m a big fan of the 24-hour clock. It gives me more time to do things!
9. What do you call a watch that’s always on time? A reliable watch ⌛
10. I’m so good at making time, I can even make a broken clock work!
11. What do you call a clock that’s always happy? A time-optimist!
12. I’m so good at telling time, I can even tell you what time it will be tomorrow!
13. What do you call a watch that’s always in style? A classic watch 🕑
14. I’m so good at managing time, I can even make a day last forever!
15. What do you call a clock that’s always on the go? A jet-setting clock ✈️
16. I’m so good at telling time, I can even tell you what time it was when the dinosaurs roamed the Earth!
17. What do you call a clock that’s always in a good mood? A happy clock! 🌞
18. I’m so good at telling time, I can even tell you what time it will be when the sun explodes!
19. What do you call a clock that’s always breaking down? A watch that’s always in need of repairs 🛠️
20. I’m so good at telling time, I can even tell you what time it will be when the world ends! 🌎

Clockwise Comedians: Jokes That Make Time Stand Still

1. What do you call a clock that’s always right? A watch-dog
2. I lost my clock yesterday. It was a time-waster anyways.
3. What’s the best way to tell time? By using a sundial at midnight 🌙
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
6. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
7. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
8. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
9. What do you call a person who’s always getting lost? A directionally challenged individual.
10. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
11. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
13. What do you call a deer with no legs? No idea!
14. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
15. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
16. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
17. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
18. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. 👀
19. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. 🇨🇭
20. When life gives you melons, you’re having a melon-choly day. 🍉

Hour-ly Humor: Quips to Brighten Your Day

1. What do you call a watch that’s always hungry? A waist watch.
2. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
3. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
7. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
8. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
9. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its neck.
10. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
11. Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them. 👻
12. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer.
13. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
14. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
15. Why did the teddy bear go to the doctor? He was feeling under the weather.
16. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
17. Why is it hard to trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
18. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
20. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

Time Bandit: Jokes That Will Steal Your Time

1. What do you call a watch that’s always stolen? A time bandit!
2. Why did the clock get arrested? For robbing seconds!
3. How do you stop a time bandit? Catch their hands! ⌛
4. What do you call a superhero that steals time? The Time Lord! ⌛
5. Why is it so hard to outrun a time bandit? Because they have a head start!
6. What do you get when you cross a clock and a bank robber? A time bandit!
7. Why did the time bandit get a tan? Because they were on a time-out!
8. What do you call a thief who steals time? A temporal thief! 🕑
9. Why did the time bandit get a job at the museum? To steal the clocks! 🕒
10. What do you call a time bandit who’s always late? A procrastination thief! ⌛
11. Why did the time bandit rob a watch store? To get their hands on some time!
12. What do you call a time bandit with a lot of money? A temporal tycoon! 💸
13. Why did the time bandit get a speeding ticket? For going over the time limit! 🚓
14. What do you call a time bandit who’s always on the go? A time-traveling trespasser! 🌍
15. Why did the time bandit buy a jetpack? To rob banks in the past! ⌛💰
16. What do you call a time bandit who’s been caught? A time-out thief! 👮‍♂️
17. Why did the time bandit get lost? Because they ran out of time! ⌛⏰
18. What do you call a time bandit who’s really good at their job? A master thief of time! ⌛🌟
19. Why did the time bandit get a sunburn? Because they spent too much time in the future! ☀️🔥
20. What do you call a time bandit who’s also a musician? A time-stealing troubadour! ⌛🎶

Second-Nature Zingers: Puns That Will Strike a Chord

1. What do you call a piano that’s been in the sun too long? A sunburn.
2. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. 👻
3. Why are spiders such good dancers? Because they have webbed feet.
4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
7. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
8. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
9. What do you get when you cross a computer with a life jacket? A Dell buoy.
10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. 🍅
11. What do you call a lazy egg? An eggs-cuse.
12. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
13. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
14. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its neck.
15. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
16. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
17. What do you call a lazy campfire? A low burn.
18. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. ⚛️
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! 🐟
20. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 🌾

Past, Present, and Puns: Jokes That Transcend Time

1. What do you call a clock that’s been in space? A watch-naut! 🚀
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌽
3. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick. ↪️
4. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 🚲
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐠🐟
6. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🃏🐆
7. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄️💪
8. Why are colds bad criminals? They’re very hard to catch! 🤧😷
9. What do you call a group of cows playing poker? A beef table! 🐮🃏
10. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its neck! 💻💆
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind as a batfish! 🐠🦇
12. Why don’t trees go to the library? They can’t turn their pages! 🌳📚
13. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🛋️
14. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳️👖
15. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time! ⌛️⌚️
16. Why did the musician go to the doctor? Because he had a broken note! 🎵🩺
17. What do you call a snowman that can’t stand the cold? A melt-down! 🔥☃️
18. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing! 🍅🥗
19. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk! 🪰🚶
20. Why did the broom go to the dentist? To get its teeth brushed! 🧹🦷

Ticking Time Bombs: Jokes That Will Explode with Laughter

1. What do you call a joke that’s always late? A pun-ctual joke.
2. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
3. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
4. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
5. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
6. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always messing up its jumps? A pouch potato.
7. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox.
8. What do you call a joke that’s too short? A mini-pun.
9. 🤭 What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
10. What do you call a clock that’s always running late? A procrastinator.
11. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
12. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
13. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
14. What do you call a kangaroo that’s always messing up its jumps? A pouch potato.
15. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox.
16. What do you call a joke that’s too short? A mini-pun.
17. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
18. What do you call a clock that’s always running late? A procrastinator.
19. What do you call a joke that’s so bad it’s good? A pun-derful joke.
20. What do you call a joke that’s so bad it should be banned? A pun-ishment.

Time After Time: Timeless Puns That Will Make You Smile

• ⌚ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 🍌
• ⌛ Want to hear a joke about time travel? Never mind, it’s too soon. ⌛
• 🗓️ I’m always late because I can’t find the right time. 🕑
• 🕒 A clock is wise to show you the time, not the other way around. ⏳
• ⏰ I lost my clock. Do you know ⏰ what time it is now?
• 📅 I have a calendar that’s 10 years old. It’s a decade calendar. 📆
• ⌛ I’m not a clock, but I’m always running late. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️
• 🕒 What do you call a clock that’s been dropped? A timepiece. 🕰️
• ⏰ What do you call a watch that’s lost its hands? A watch without a clue. 🕰️
• ❓ Why was the Roman numeral 11 afraid of 10? Because 10 is one more than 11.
• ⌛ What do you call a clock that runs backwards? A watch that’s behind the times. 🕰️
• ❓ Why was the clock afraid of the calendar? Because it knew its days were numbered. 📆🕰️
• ❓ What do you call a clock that’s always on time? A watch that’s a minute man. ⏰🕰️
• 📅 How do you tell the difference between a calendar and a clock? A calendar tells you the date, while a clock tells you the time. ⏰📆
• ⌛ What do you call a clock that can’t be trusted? A time-waster. 🕰️
• 🕒 Why did the watch go to the doctor? Because it was losing time. ⚕️🕰️
• ⏰ What do you call a clock that’s been to prison? A jail-time clock. 🚔🕰️
• 📆 How do you fix a broken calendar? You add a day. 📆🛠️
• ⌛ Why are clocks so good at keeping secrets? Because they don’t have mouths. 🤐🕰️

Clocking Out with a Pun: Ending the Day with a Laugh

1. What do you call a watch that’s always on time? A watchful protector!
2. Why did the clock get a speeding ticket? Because it was caught overtaking time!
3. What do you call a clock that’s always behind? A slow-coach!
4. What did the mathematician say when they saw a clock? “It’s about time!”
5. Why did the watch get in trouble? It ticked off its owner!
6. What do you call a clock that’s always cheerful? A happy timekeeper!
7. Why did the clock get a promotion? Because it knew how to manage its time!
8. What do you call a clock in a panic? A time crisis! 😜
9. What do you call a clock that can’t keep up? A procrastin-clock!
10. Why did the clock go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling well!
11. What do you call a clock that’s always making excuses? A chroni-excuse-lator!
12. Why did the clock get a divorce? Because it couldn’t make ends meet!
13. What do you call a clock that’s always late? A procrastin-watch!
14. Why did the clock have to turn the lights off? Because it was time to dim the night! 💡
15. What do you call a clock that’s always getting into trouble? A time bandit!
16. Why did the clock get a parking ticket? Because it was parked in the wrong time zone!
17. What do you call a clock that’s always on vacation? A sun-dial!
18. Why did the clock have to take a break? Because it was feeling time-out!
19. What do you call a clock that’s always trying to catch up? A time-chasing machine!
20. Why did the clock get a new battery? Because it was running out of time! 🔋

Time to Pun-ish: A Playful Punishment for Time-Related Woes

1. What do you call a clock that’s always running late? A procrastination station.
2. Why did the clock get arrested? For killing time! ⌛
3. What do you call a watch that’s always right? A watch-dog.
4. Why did the calendar get a sunburn? It spent too much time in the summer.
5. What do you call a clock that’s always on time? A watch-it.
6. Why was the clock so tired? It had been working ’round the clock.
7. What do you call a clock that’s always stuck at 2:00? A half-past due clock.
8. Why did the clock get a new pair of shoes? It wanted to keep time better.
9. What do you call a clock that’s always breaking? A time-waster. ⌛
10. Why was the clock so grumpy? It was having a bad hair day.
11. What do you call a clock that’s always ticking? A watch-dog.
12. Why did the clock go to the doctor? It was having a time-out.
13. What do you call a clock that’s always losing time? A slow-poke.
14. Why was the clock so sad? It was feeling down in the dumps.
15. What do you call a clock that’s always sleeping? A snooze-fest.
16. Why did the clock get a promotion? It was always on time.
17. What do you call a clock that’s always late? A procrastinator.
18. Why was the clock so scared? It was afraid of the tick-tock.
19. What do you call a clock that’s always on the run? A time-bandit. ⌛
20. Why did the clock get a new battery? It was running out of time.