137+ Handyman Puns That Will Make Your Toolshed Quip with Joy!

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Bruna Silva
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Are you ready to embark on a hilarious journey into the realm of handyman puns? Brace yourself, because I have a toolbox filled with witty wordplay and pun-derful insights that will leave you hammering with laughter. In this comprehensive guide, I’ll unveil the secrets to crafting the best handyman puns that will have everyone from your fellow contractors to your clients in stitches.Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a do-it-yourself enthusiast, puns can be your secret weapon for breaking the ice, lightening the mood, and making your work even more enjoyable. So, grab your tool belt, put on your punny hat, and let’s dive right in. Trust me, these puns will screw your expectations and leave you saw-ry for not laughing sooner. Get ready to measure up to the challenge and become a master of the handyman pun!As a bonus, I’ll provide you with a handyman pun dictionary that you can keep close at hand for those moments when you need a quick laugh or want to impress your friends with your wit. So, let’s get started and see what puns we can nail! Remember, if you’re not handy with puns, don’t worry โ€“ I’ll be your guiding light, helping you drill down to the perfect pun every time.

Hammering Out the Best Puns: A Handyman’s Guide to Puns

  1. What do you call a carpenter who’s always telling jokes? A nailing comedian.
  2. Why did the handyman get lost? Because he couldn’t find his level. ๐Ÿ”จ
  3. What do you call a tool that can fix anything? A handyman’s Swiss army knife.
  4. Why did the hammer go to the doctor? It was feeling a little hammered. ๐Ÿค•
  5. What do you call a carpenter who is always late? A slowpoke.
  6. Why did the drill get arrested? For making holes in the wrong place. ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™‚๏ธ
  7. What do you call a handyman who is always whistling? A happy handyman.
  8. Why did the saw get a divorce? Because it kept cutting up its wife. โš–๏ธ
  9. What do you call a handyman who always uses the wrong tool? A hammerhead.๐Ÿ”จ
  10. Why was the handyman so good at painting? Because he always had a brush with success. ๐ŸŽจ
  11. What do you call a handyman who is always making mistakes? A screw-up.
  12. Why did the wrench get fired? Because it kept getting into trouble with the nuts and bolts.
  13. What do you call a handyman who is always complaining? A whiner. ๐Ÿ™„
  14. Why did the hammer go to the bank? To hammer out a loan. ๐Ÿ’ฐ
  15. What do you call a handyman who is always breaking things? A klutz.
  16. Why did the drill get a tattoo? Because it wanted to improve its image. ๐Ÿ˜Ž
  17. What do you call a handyman who is always making things look good? A polisher.
  18. Why did the screwdriver get a driver’s license? Because it was always turning things around. ๐Ÿš—
  19. What do you call a handyman who is always losing his tools? A tool-head. ๅทฅๅ…ท
  20. What do you call a handyman who is always happy? A jolly handyman. โ˜บ๏ธ

Screw It, Let’s Pun

  • How does NASA organize a company party? They planet.
  • What do you call a boomerang that wonโ€™t come back? A stick.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  • Why donโ€™t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  • Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
  • What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
  • What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  • Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
  • What do you call a kangaroo that canโ€™t jump? A pouch potato.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  • What do you call a boomerang that doesnโ€™t come back? A stick.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

Saw-ry, I Couldn’t Resist These Puns

  1. I saw a tree wearing sunglasses. It was a “tree shade.”
  2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  3. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
  4. Why are colds bad criminals? Because they’re very “contagious.”
  5. How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
  6. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch. ๐ŸŽƒ
  7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  8. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  9. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
  10. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
  11. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  12. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  13. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. โ„๏ธ
  14. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  15. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  16. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
  17. What do you call a bird that can fly backwards? A swallow.
  18. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
  19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! ๐ŸŸ
  20. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Pliers of Wisdom: The Most Hilarious Handyman Puns

  1. What do you call a handyman who’s always late? A procrastination station.
  2. Why did the handyman get lost in the hardware store? Because he couldn’t find the aisle.
  3. What do you call a handyman who’s always in a good mood? A hammer-happy handyman.
  4. Why did the handyman cross the road? To get to the other side of the house.
  5. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting into trouble? A screw-up. ๐Ÿ˜†
  6. Why did the handyman get a divorce? Because he couldn’t handle the current.
  7. What do you call a handyman who’s always making mistakes? A tool-fool.
  8. Why did the handyman get a cold? Because he was working outside in the winter. โ„๏ธ
  9. What do you call a handyman who’s always busy? A jack-of-all-screws.
  10. Why did the handyman join the army? Because he wanted to learn how to drill.
  11. What do you call a handyman who’s always losing his tools? A screw-brain.
  12. Why did the handyman get a headache? Because he hit his head with a hammer. ๐Ÿ”จ
  13. What do you call a handyman who’s always making jokes? A pun-isher.
  14. Why did the handyman get fired? Because he couldn’t handle the pressure.
  15. What do you call a handyman who’s always singing? A tool-y singer.
  16. Why did the handyman take a break? Because he needed a power nap. ๐Ÿฅฑ
  17. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting into accidents? A clumsy craftsman.
  18. Why did the handyman buy a new car? Because he wanted to drive a screw-driver.
  19. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting lost? A map-less maestro.
  20. Why did the handyman get a haircut? Because he wanted to get rid of his split ends.

Nutty About Puns: Jokes That Will Make You Bolt

  1. I’m nuts about puns. I just can’t help myself.
  2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  3. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
  4. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  5. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick. ๐Ÿ˜‚
  6. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
  7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! ๐Ÿ˜‚
  8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  9. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! ๐ŸฆŒ
  10. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its back!
  11. What do you call a boomerang that wonโ€™t come back? A stick.
  12. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
  13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  14. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
  15. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
  16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  17. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
  18. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  19. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. โ›„
  20. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

Watts Up with These Puns? They’re Electrifying

  1. What do you call an electrician who’s always getting shocked? A live wire!
  2. Why did the light bulb get a speeding ticket? It was caught going over the speed of light!
  3. What do you call an electrical outlet in a haunted house? A voltgeist!
  4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  5. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! ๐Ÿฆ˜
  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  8. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it!
  9. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  10. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! ๐Ÿฆ˜
  11. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
  12. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
  13. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its back!
  14. What do you call a lazy eye? A shut-eye!
  15. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
  16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  17. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
  18. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!
  19. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
  20. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!

Measuring Up to the Best Handyman Puns

  1. What do you call a handyman who’s always on the go? A fixer upper.
  2. What do you call a handyman who’s a bit of a klutz? A screw-up.
  3. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting into trouble? A wrench in the works.
    ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ
  4. What do you call a handyman who’s always making mistakes? A nail-biter.
  5. What do you call a handyman who’s always losing his tools? A tool-shed.
  6. What do you call a handyman who’s always complaining? A whiner.
  7. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting into debt? A hammer-head.
  8. What do you call a handyman who’s always making a mess? A clutter-bug.
    ๐Ÿ”ง๐Ÿ”ง๐Ÿ”ง
  9. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting dirty? A grease-monkey.
  10. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting injured? A hazard-prone.
  11. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting lost? A lost-cause.
  12. What do you call a handyman who’s always sleeping on the job? A lazy-bones.
  13. What do you call a handyman who’s always eating on the job? A meal-ticket.
  14. What do you call a handyman who’s always drinking on the job? A lush.
  15. What do you call a handyman who’s always smoking on the job? A smoke-stack.
  16. What do you call a handyman who’s always singing on the job? A whistle-blower.
  17. What do you call a handyman who’s always dancing on the job? A jigger.
  18. What do you call a handyman who’s always telling jokes on the job? A joker.
  19. What do you call a handyman who’s always making faces on the job? A grimace-maker.
  20. What do you call a handyman who’s always using foul language on the job? A swear-monger.
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Soldering On Strong: The Welding World of Puns

  1. Why did the welder get a divorce? Because he was always taking things for granite!
  2. What do you call a welder who’s always on the go? A flux capacitor! ๐Ÿงค
  3. Why did the welder lose his job? Because he wasn’t arc-ing up to expectations!
  4. What’s the difference between a good welder and a bad welder? The good welder knows how to weld!
  5. Why did the welder cross the road? To get to the other electrode!
  6. What do you call a welder who’s always in trouble? A hot mess!
  7. What do you call a welder who’s always making mistakes? A slag queen! ๐Ÿงค
  8. Why did the welder get a sunburn? Because he was working with an arc!
  9. What do you call a welder who’s always late? A slowpoke!
  10. What do you call a welder who’s always starting fights? A spark plug!
  11. Why did the welder go to the doctor? Because he had a flux capacitor!
  12. What do you call a welder who’s always getting into trouble? A weld-known troublemaker!
  13. What do you call a welder who’s always bragging? A weld-known blowhard!
  14. Why did the welder get a tattoo? Because he wanted to show off his hot skills! ๐Ÿงค
  15. What do you call a welder who’s always making mistakes? A weld-known klutz!
  16. Why did the welder get lost? Because he didn’t know where to arc!
  17. What do you call a welder who’s always complaining? A weld-known whiner!
  18. Why did the welder get a divorce? Because he was always taking things for granite! ๐Ÿงค
  19. What do you call a welder who’s always making puns? A weld-known punster!
  20. Why did the welder get a new job? Because he was tired of being a low-watt performer!

Drill-ing Down to the Perfect Pun

  1. What do you call an unemployed carpenter? A nail biter.
  2. What do you call a tree that can’t stop talking? A chatterbox.
  3. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
  4. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
  5. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
  6. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
  7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  8. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  9. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. โ˜ƒ๏ธ
  10. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
  11. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
  12. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
  13. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  14. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  15. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  16. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
  17. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
  18. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  19. What do you call a boomerang that keeps coming back? A boomerang.
  20. What do you call a kangaroo that can’t jump? A pouch potato.

Spanner in the Works: These Puns Will Leave You Wrenching

  1. What do you call a wrench that can’t be trusted? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  2. Why did the wrench get lost? Because it got into a spanner! ๐Ÿ”ง
  3. What’s the difference between a wrench and a spanner? A spanner is a wrench that’s making a nuisance of itself! ๐Ÿ”ง
  4. What do you call a wrench that’s always in trouble? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  5. Why did the wrench get arrested? Because it was caught red-handed! ๐Ÿ”ง ๐Ÿšจ
  6. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting into trouble? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  7. What do you call a wrench that’s always making a mess? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  8. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting stuck? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  9. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting lost? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  10. What do you call a wrench that’s always breaking? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  11. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting rusty? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  12. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting dirty? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  13. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting bent? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  14. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting stripped? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  15. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting lost? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  16. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting stolen? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  17. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting broken? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  18. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting bent? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  19. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting stripped? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
  20. What do you call a wrench that’s always getting stuck? A spanner in the works! ๐Ÿ”ง
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Level-ing Up Your Pun Game with These Handyman Jokes

  1. Hey, what do you call a carpenter who’s always in a good mood? A happy saw-yer!
  2. How do you cut the cheese in a hardware store? With a hacksaw! ๐Ÿ”ง
  3. Why did the electrician refuse to fix the broken light? Because he didn’t want to get shocked. ๐Ÿ’กโšก
  4. What do you call a plumber who’s really good at fixing leaks? A master of pipes! ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ง
  5. Why couldn’t the handyman fix the leaky faucet? Because he didn’t have the right tools! ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿงฐ
  6. What do you call a painter who’s always on edge? A nervous brush! ๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
  7. Why did the contractor get fired? Because he couldn’t keep his projects straight! ๐Ÿ‘ทโ€โ™‚๏ธโŒ๐Ÿ“
  8. What do you call a carpenter who’s always measuring things? A ruler dude! ๐Ÿ“
  9. Why did the electrician get a promotion? Because he was a bright spark! ๐Ÿ’ก๐ŸŒŸ
  10. What do you call a handyman who’s always making mistakes? A hammerhead! ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿค•
  11. Why was the plumber so upset? Because he couldn’t get his pipes to work! ๐Ÿ”ง๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿคฌ
  12. What do you call a painter who’s always late? A slowpoke! ๐ŸŽจ๐ŸŒ
  13. Why did the contractor get a divorce? Because his wife wanted a bigger house! ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
  14. What do you call a handyman who’s always taking shortcuts? A nail biter! ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ”จ
  15. Why did the electrician get a speeding ticket? Because he was driving too fast in hisโšก๏ธ Volt! ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿš”โšก๏ธ
  16. What do you call a handyman who’s always complaining? A grumpwrench! ๐Ÿ”ง๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ
  17. Why did the plumber get a day off? Because he had a “wrench” in his back! ๐Ÿ”ง๐Ÿค•
  18. What do you call a painter who’s always getting into trouble? A brush with the law! ๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿš“
  19. Why did the contractor lose his job? Because he couldn’t handle the pressure! ๐Ÿ‘ทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ๐Ÿ’”
  20. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting lost? A lost cause! ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿงฐ

Nailed It: The Best Puns for Handymen and Those Who Love Them

  1. What do you call a handyman who can’t keep a secret? ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ A nailbiter.
  2. Why did the carpenter get lost in the woods? ๐ŸŒณ Because he couldn’t find his level.
  3. What do you call a carpenter who’s always late? A hammerhead.
  4. What do you get when you cross a carpenter and a baker? ๐Ÿฅ A doughboy.
  5. What did the hammer say to the screw โ“ “Let’s nail this project together.”
  6. Why did the handyman put his money in the freezer? โ„๏ธ To make it cold hard cash.
  7. What do you call a handyman who’s always making mistakes? ้’‰๏ธ A screw-up.
  8. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting into trouble? ๐Ÿšง A reckless screwdriver.
  9. Why did the handyman take his drill to the doctor? ๐Ÿฅ Because it had a bit of a headache.
  10. What do you call a handyman who’s always losing his tools? ๐Ÿงฐ A tool shed.
  11. What do you get when you cross a handyman and a musician? ๐ŸŽธ A hammerhead guitar.
  12. Why did the handyman get a divorceโ“ Because his wife always said he was a tool.
  13. What do you call a handyman who’s always complaining? ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ A whiner wrench.
  14. Why did the handyman cross the road? ๐Ÿšธ To get to the other stud.
  15. What do you call a handyman who’s always on top of things? ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ A roofer.
  16. Why did the handyman refuse to fix the leaky faucet? ๐Ÿ’ง Because he wanted to let it drip.
  17. What do you call a handyman who’s always getting into arguments? ๐Ÿ”ง A contentious contractor.
  18. Why did the handyman get fired from his job? ๐Ÿ‘ทโ€โ™‚๏ธ Because he was constantly dropping the ball.
  19. What do you call a handyman who’s always on the lookout for a good deal? ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ A bargain basement builder.
  20. Why did the handyman take his ladder to the gym? ๐Ÿ’ช To work on his core.

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