142+ Grimly Witty Death Puns That'll Have You Dying of Laughter!

Get Ready to Laugh in the Face of Mortality: A Humorous Guide to Death Puns

If the Grim Reaper had a sense of humor, he’d be armed with an arsenal of death puns. And lucky for us, we’ve gathered the funniest ones to make you chuckle in the face of the inevitable.

In this post, we’re diving into the crypt of comedy and unearthing the most rib-tickling death puns that will make you scream with laughter. From puns so bad they’re almost dead to ones that will raise the dead, we’ve got the complete graveyard of guffaws.

So, grab your tombstone tablet and get ready to write down the funniest death puns you’ll ever hear. These puns are guaranteed to make you roll in your grave with laughter and leave you six feet under in stitches. Be warned, though, these puns may be so bone-chillingly hilarious that they’ll make your coffin shake!

Grave Humor: The Best Death Puns to Tickle Your Funny Bone

What do you call a dead musician? A decomposer.💀
Why did the skeleton go to the bar? To get “boned.”
What do you call a haunted graveyard? A boo-rial ground.👻
Why did the ghost get lost? Because it couldn’t find its sheet.
What do you call a zombie with no arms or legs? A groundbreaker.
What’s a zombie’s favorite type of music? Grave metal.
How does a skeleton get down the stairs? It bones.💀
What do you call a skeleton that’s always laughing? A rib-tickler.
Why did the vampire get fired? Because he couldn’t keep his fangs to himself.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.🏖️
Why did the skeleton join the band? To play the bone-a-phone. 🎹
What do you call a zombie with no sense of direction? Lost in the graveyard.
What do you call a group of skeletons having a party? A bone-fire.🔥
Why did the vampire stop drinking blood? Because he wanted to get his teeth fixed.🦷
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A fractured phantom.
What do you call a skeleton that loves to dance? A bone-shaker.💃
Why did the zombie get a job at the construction site? He was a dead ringer for a worker.👷‍♂️
What do you call a witch in a wheelchair? A rolling thunder.⚡
Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the other fright side.
What do you call a vampire who’s always cold? A chilly-billy.🥶

Dying for Laughter: 10 Puns That Will Raise the Dead

I’m dying for a laugh, but only if it’s a killer pun.
Why did the skeleton go to the graveyard? To bone up on his puns! 💀
What do you call a skeleton with no sense of humor? A bone-dry punster.
I’m sure the dead have a lot of puns up their sleeves.
What do you call a vampire with a bad joke? A bloodcurdling comic. 🧛‍♂️
Why was the zombie so sad? Because he couldn’t find any brains to tickle with his jokes.
I’d tell you a ghost joke, but I don’t want to scare you to death. 👻
What do you call a werewolf with a knack for wordplay? A howling punster.
Why did the mummy get lost in the desert? Because he forgot to ask for directions. 🐫
What do you call a witch with a broken broom? A grouchy spellcaster. 🧙‍♀️
Why did the grim reaper have to work overtime? Because the dead were dying for his puns.
What do you call a vampire who loves to laugh? A fang-tastic punster. 🧛
Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the other crypt. 🧟
What do you call a haunted house with a great sense of humor? A real jokester haunt. 👻
Why was the skeleton afraid of the cornfield? Because it was stalking him. 🌽
What do you call a mummy who can’t keep a secret? An unwrapped mystery. ⚱️
Why did the ghost go to the party? To have a haunting good time. 👻
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? A bonemented punster.
Why did the zombie get a job at the graveyard? Because he was dying to meet new people. 🧟‍♂️
What do you call a vampire who loves to play cards? A bloodthirsty ace. 🃏

Bone-Chilling Jokes: Death Puns That Will Make You Scream with Laughter

What do you call a skeleton with no sense of humor? A bonehead!
What do you call a zombie with a bad attitude? A ghoul mood! 👻
Why did the skeleton go to the bar? To get a bone-dry martini!
What do you call a ghost in a hospital? A boo on the loose!
Why did the witch get lost in the graveyard? She took a wrong tomb!
What do you call a ghost that loves to dance? A boo-gie man! 💃
Why did the vampire get kicked out of the blood bank? He didn’t have the right type!
What do you call a zombie that loves to read? A braindead author! 🧟‍♂️
Why did the monster go to therapy? He had mummy issues!
What do you call a werewolf that’s always late? A fur-behind! 🐺
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the bone zone! 💀
What do you call a witch with no teeth? A gum-mummy!
Why did the ghost take a sick day? He had the haunting flu!
What do you call a ghost that’s always bragging? A show-off!
Why did the vampire get locked out of his castle? He forgot his key-fang! 🔑🧛‍♂️
What do you call a zombie that’s always grumpy? A dead-beat!
Why did the mummy take salsa dancing lessons? He wanted to shake his wraps! 💃
What do you call a vampire that’s out of shape? A blood-belly!
Why did the skeleton get lost in the fog? He couldn’t see his bones! 🦴
What do you call a ghost that’s always making puns? A boo-mer!

Deadpan Delivery: Hilarious Death Puns That Will Make You Roll in Your Grave

What do you call a zombie that can’t stop talking? A dead bore.
Why did the skeleton go to the party? To show off his killer dance moves.
What do you call a ghost with no arms? A boo tube. 🧟‍♂️
Why did the vampire get lost in the woods? Because he couldn’t find his vein.
What do you call a skeleton that can’t swim? A sinker.
Why did the mummy get a bad haircut? Because it was all wrapped up.
What do you call a ghost that loves to play tricks? A poltergeist. 👻
Why did the witch get lost in the mall? Because she couldn’t find her broom closet.
What do you call a vampire that can’t control his strength? A bloodthirsty brute.
Why did the skeleton eat dirt? Because he couldn’t find any meat.
What do you call a skeleton that can’t tell the time? A bonehead.
Why did the zombie quit his job? Because he kept getting dead tired.
What do you call a ghost that’s always late? A procrastinating phantom. 🎃
Why did the ghost get a loan? Because it was feeling a little sheet.
What do you call a vampire that’s always in a bad mood? A bloodthirsty grouch.
Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? Because he couldn’t stand his pain.
What do you call a zombie that’s always losing things? A memory loser.
Why did the ghost get a piercing? Because it wanted to be a little more edgy.
What do you call a skeleton that can’t keep secrets? A blabberbones.
Why did the vampire get a job at the library? Because it loved to sink its teeth into a good book. 🧛‍♂️

Grave Misunderstandings: Death Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches

What do you call a dead musician? A decom-poser 🎵
What do you call a skeleton who won’t stop telling jokes? A bone-ified comedian💀
Why don’t skeletons play music? They don’t have any body to dance to!
What do you call a ghost who’s always sweating? A spirits-d away👻
What do you call a zombie with no sense of direction? A lost cause🧟
Why did the zombie go to the psychiatrist? To get his brains back! 🧟‍♂️
What do you call a ghost that works in a cemetery? A grave digger
What do you call a vampire who’s always late? A blood-sucker who’s behind the times🧛‍♂️
Why did the witch go to the graveyard? To dig up some old spells. 🧙‍♀️
What do you call a zombie with no arms? A brain-dead. 🧟
Why did the ghost get lost in the fog? Because he couldn’t see where he was ghosting👻
What do you call a vampire who’s always in a good mood? Fangs for the memories.🧛‍♂️
Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get a spirits-ual drink. 👻
What do you call a zombie who’s always in a hurry? A grave robber. 🧟‍♀️
Why did the werewolf get a job at the local pizza place? To deliver moon-light pies 🍕
What do you call a ghost who’s always talking about old times? A history buff 👻
Why did the vampire get lost in the city? He didn’t have any street fang-s. 🧛‍♂️
What do you call a zombie who’s always getting lost? A dead-end 🧟‍♂️
Why did the ghost get banned from the library? Because he kept haunting the bookshelves. 👻
What do you call a vampire who’s always making puns? A blood-y terrible comedian. 🧛‍♂️

Deathly Delighted: Puns That Will Make You Lose Your Head

I lost my head in a game of charades. I couldn’t keep my head on straight.
I’m not sure what the big deal is about losing your head. It’s not like you can see it anyway.
I’m so decapitated. I’ve lost my head over this girl. 🤣
What do you call a headless horseman with a good sense of humor? A laughing stock.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always losing his way? A lost cause.
What do you call a headless horseman who can’t keep his head on straight? A bobblehead.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting into trouble? A pain in the neck.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting into accidents? A crash dummy.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting sick? A walking disaster.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting fired? A head case.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting lost? A directionless fool.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting into fights? A punching bag.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting kidnapped? A ransom note. 💰
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting robbed? A target.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting harassed? A victim.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting killed? A dead man walking. 💀
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting eaten? A meal.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting burned? A torch.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting drowned? A water hazard.
What do you call a headless horseman who’s always getting electrocuted? A walking shock.

Dead as a Doornail: The Punniest Death Jokes You’ll Ever Hear

What do you call a dead scarecrow? A stalk-er.
What do you call a dead boxer? A knockout. 💀
What do you call a dead drummer? A sticks-man.
What do you call a dead mime? A stiff
What do you call a dead lawyer? A case closed.
What do you call a dead magician? A vanishing act.
What do you call a dead actor? A stage corpse.
What do you call a dead doctor? A patient.
What do you call a dead weightlifter? A dumbbell.
What do you call a dead chef? A soufflé 💀
What do you call a dead judge? A stiff sentence.
What do you call a dead lumberjack? A stump.
What do you call a dead teacher? A pass-away.
What do you call a dead singer? A croak.
What do you call a dead waiter? A tip-off.
What do you call a dead golfer? A stiff on the greens.
What do you call a dead gambler? A chips-down.
What do you call a dead barber? A stiff neck. 💀
What do you call a dead poet? A solilo-quy.
What do you call a dead psychic? A ghostwriter.

Beyond the Pale: Death Puns That Will Have You Laughing in Hell

What do you call a coffin that’s always getting into trouble? A deadbeat 💀
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to take!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite ❄️
Why did the ghost get lost in the cemetery? Because he couldn’t find his grave.
What do you call a zombie who only speaks in puns? A grave joker 💀
Why did the undertaker go broke? Because his business was dead.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch 🧙‍♀️
Why did the skeleton take a bubble bath? To get his bones clean!
What do you call a vampire who always wears a tuxedo? Count Dracula 🧛‍♂️
Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the other crypt.
What do you call a ghost that’s always bragging? A boo-ster.
Why did the mummy get lost in the desert? Because he kept getting his wraps twisted 🏜️
What do you call a ghost with no arms? A spooktacular hugger.
Why did the skeleton go to the bar? To get a boner 💀
What do you call a witch who’s always getting into trouble? A spell-caster.
Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to the other ghoul.
What do you call a vampire who’s always late for everything? A tard blood.
Why did the skeleton get kicked out of the pool? Because he was making a splash 🏊‍♂️
What do you call a zombie who’s always getting lost? A tomb raider.
Why did the ghost get lost in the department store? Because he couldn’t find the afterlife section.

Grimly Amusing: Death Puns That Will Make You Dance with the Reaper

What do you call a ghost with no arms?
Disarmed. 💀
Why did the vampire get a cold?
Because he had bat flu. 🦇
What do you call a graveyard filled with musical instruments?
A Chopin Cemetery. 👻
Why did the skeleton go to the party?
To show off his bone structure. 💀
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
Sand-witch. 🧙‍♀️
Why did the grim reaper take a vacation?
He needed a scythe-cation. 🏝️
What do you call a skeleton that’s always getting into trouble?
A bonehead. 🦴
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because he felt rotten. 🧟‍♂️
What do you call a ghost that’s always making mistakes?
A boo-boo. 👻
Why did the mummy cross the road?
To get to the other side of the pyramid. 🐫
What do you call a skeleton that’s always dancing?
A rattle-bag. 💃
Why did the vampire get a facelift?
To look fang-tastic. 🧛‍♂️
What do you call a zombie that’s really good at basketball?
Air Dead. 🏀
Why did the ghost go to the library?
To check out some boo-ks. 📚
What do you call a skeleton that’s always complaining?
A bone-afide complainer. 🗣️
Why did the vampire cross the road?
To get to the bat cave. 🦇
What do you call a zombie that’s always telling jokes?
A corpse-o-comedian. 🎭
Why did the grim reaper go to the grocery store?
To pick up some souls. 💀
What do you call a ghost that’s always late?
A phantom delay. 👻
Why did the skeleton get a dog?
To keep him from being lonely in the bone-yard. 🐶

Six Feet Under Funny: Death Puns That Will Make You Bury Your Sides

What do you call a dead body that’s always getting into trouble? A cadaver that’s off its rocker! 💀
Why did the skeleton get lost? Because it kept taking the wrong turns! 💀
What do you call a ghost with no legs? A floating spirit!👻
What do you call a dead bee? A honey-gone! 🐝
Why did the mummy get arrested? Because he was caught grave robbing! 👮‍♂️
What do you call a vampire who hates going outside? A recluse-ula! 🧛‍♂️
Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the other grave! 🧟
What do you call a witch who lives by the beach? A sand-witch! 🧙‍♀️
Why did the ghost get a cold? Because he didn’t wear a sheet! 👻
What do you call a vampire who’s always broke? A deadbeat! 🧛‍♂️
Why did the skeleton go to the mall? To buy some new bones! 💀
What do you call a zombie who’s always happy? A grave digger! 🧟
Why did the mummy start a business? To make all the money he could! 💰
What do you call a ghost who’s always in a bad mood? A ghoul-geist! 👻
Why did the vampire get a job as a lifeguard? To keep an eye on all the swimmers! 🏊‍♂️
What do you call a zombie who’s always on the go? A grave-digger! 🧟
Why did the witch get lost in the woods? Because she didn’t have a broom-broom! 🧹
What do you call a skeleton who’s always making jokes? A bone-afide comedian! 💀😂
Why did the zombie get fired from his job? Because he was always dead tired! 🧟‍♂️🥱
What do you call a vampire who’s always getting lost? A blood-line dead-end! 🧛‍♂️🗺️

Till Death Do Us Part: Death Puns That Will Make You Die of Laughter

I’ve heard of death row inmates, but this is ridiculous!
What do you call a skeleton who can’t keep a secret? A chatterbox.
Why did the Grim Reaper start a band? To play death metal! ☠️
What do you call a ghost with no arms? A spook with no hands!
Why did the vampire get a cold? Because his coffin had a draft.
What do you call a dead lawyer? A dusty old brief.
Why is it so hard to play poker with a dead man? Because he always has a dead hand.
What do you call a zombie who can’t swim? A deadbeat.
Why did the ghost get lost in the fog? Because he couldn’t see where he was ghost-ing. 👻
What do you call a ghost that’s always in a good mood? A happy haunting.
Why did the skeleton go to the party? To get his bones rattled!
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
Why don’t you ever see zombies in a haunted house? Because they’re afraid of ghosts!
What do you call a vampire who loves to play video games? A blood-thirsty gamer.
Why did the mummy get lost in the desert? Because he couldn’t read the sand-dunes!
Where do vampires go for vacation? To Fang-tastic Island. 🏝️
What do you call a zombie who’s always late? A deadbeat.
Why did the ghost have to take the bus? Because he couldn’t haunt-a-cab.
What do you call a witch who loves to gamble? A spell-caster.
Why did the skeleton get lost in the graveyard? Because he didn’t have a head-stone.

Dead Wrong: Death Puns That Will Make You LOL Your Way to the Afterlife

What do you call a dead body that can’t tell jokes? A 💀 corpse.
Why did the undertaker skip lunch? Because he was 💀 dead.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a comedian? A 💀 coffin filled with jokes.
Why did the funeral home hire a mime? To keep the 💀 peace.
What do you call a dead person who knows how to make people laugh? A 💀 comedy cadaver.
Why did the ghost get lost in the cemetery? Because it didn’t have a 💀 GPS.
What do you call a dead body that won’t shut up? A 💀 chatterbox.
Why did the undertaker get fired? Because he was 💀 💀 💀 coffin jokes.
What do you call a dead body with no arms or legs? A 💀 trunk.
Why did the ghost cross the road? To 💀 get to the other cadaver.
What do you call a dead body in a swimming pool? A 💀 water corpse.
Why did the funeral director get arrested? Because he was 💀 💀 bodies.
What do you call a dead body in a tree? A 💀 stiff branch.
Why did the skeleton go to college? To 💀 study osteo-archeology.
What do you call a dead body that can’t speak? A 💀 silent corpse.
Why did the ghost quit his job at the cemetery? Because he was 💀 bored.
What do you call a dead body that’s been cremated? A 💀 pile of ash.
Why did the zombie get a tattoo? To 💀 remember where he was buried.
What do you call a dead body that loves to party? A 💀 skeleton rave.
Why did the dead body join a choir? Because it wanted to 💀 sing its heart out.

Into the Grave: Hilarious Death Puns That Will Make You Rest in Peace

What do you call a skeleton that can’t tell jokes? A bone-ified comedian.
Why did the grim reaper join a choir? To sing “Ode to Joy.” 💀
What do you call a zombie that’s always late? The dead-line.
Why did the ghost get kicked out of the library? Because he was haunting the stacks.
What did the undertaker say to the grieving widow? “Don’t take it coffinly.” ⚰️
Why did the cemetery hire a new security guard? To prevent grave-robbing.
What do you call a ghost that’s always in a good mood? A spirit-lifter. 😊
Why was the morgue so empty? Because all the bodies were out on a limb.
What do you call a vampire who loves to dance? A blood-thirsty ballerina.
Why did the mummy get nervous? Because he had a wrap exam. 🌯
What did the vampire say to the new doctor? “I’m afraid I’ll need a blood test.” 🩸
Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? Because he was feeling humerus. 💀
What do you call a zombie that plays the piano? A keyboard ghoul. 🎹
Why did the ghost get lost in the fog? Because he couldn’t see where he was coffin. 👻
What did the skeleton say to the rockstar? “Rock on.” 🤘
Why was the vampire so popular? Because he had a killer smile. 🧛‍♂️
What do you call a skeleton that’s always in the gym? A bone-crusher. 🏋️‍♀️
Why did the grim reaper take up knitting? To make death shawls. 💀🧶
What did the zombie say to the brains? “I’m thinking of eating you.” 🧠
Why did the vampire go to the blood bank? To make a withdrawal. 🩸

Deathly Humorous: Puns That Will Make You Die of Laughter

What do you call a skeleton that always tells the truth? 💀 Honesty BONES!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? ⛄️ Frosty Fangs!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? 🌾 Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? 🧙‍♀️ Sand-witch!
Why did the ghost go to the bar? 👻 To have a BOOze!
What do you call a vampire who is always late? 🧛‍♂️ Dragu-late!
Why did the zombie get lost? 🧟‍♂️ Because it had no BRAINS!
What do you call a skeleton that can’t keep a secret? 💀 A rattle-mouth!
Why did the mummy get kicked out of the museum? ⚱️ Because it was all wrapped up and couldn’t move!
What do you call a ghost that loves to party? 👻 A BOO-gie night!
Why did the zombie get a job as a crossing guard? 🧟‍♂️ To STOP!
🧜‍♀️ What do you call a mermaid with no arms? A fin-ished product!
🧙‍♂️ What do you call a witch who’s always broke? A broom-stick!
🎃 What do you call a pumpkin that’s always late? A gourd-diger!
What do you call a skeleton that’s always laughing? 💀 A funny bone!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? 🌾 Because he was head and shoulders above the rest!
What do you call a ghost that can’t remember anything? 👻 A memory-LOSS!
Why did the vampire get a sunburn? 🧛‍♂️ Because he forgot to wear sunscreen!
What do you call a skeleton that’s always in a bad mood? 💀 A bonehead!
Why did the zombie get a job at the graveyard? 🧟‍♂️ To DIG up the competition!

Rosana C. Nogueira

Especialista de Seguros | Key Account | Executivo de Negócios | Gestão Comercial

142+ Grimly Witty Death Puns That’ll Have You Dying of Laughter!