150+ Haunted House Puns That Will Make You Scream with Laughter!

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Anisia Avelino
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Greetings, fellow fear-seekers! Get ready to embark on a bone-chilling journey into the realm of haunted house puns. We’ll explore the ghostly corridors of laughter and unearth some of the most spine-tickling wordplay that will make your ribs creak and your funny bone rattle. From spectral mishaps to spooky shenanigans, we’ll leave no pun unturned, promising you a laugh so infectious, it’ll make the ghosts howl with envy. Are you brave enough to step inside our haunted house of puns? If you’re not afraid of a few ghostly giggles, then join us on this thrilling adventure. Let’s rattle our puns and let the laughter haunt you for days to come!

What do you call a ghost that can’t keep up?

  1. A lagging ghost
  2. A spirit that’s always behind schedule πŸ‘»
  3. A phantom that’s chronically tardy
  4. A specter that can’t keep pace
  5. A ghoul that’s constantly playing catch-up
  6. A ghost that’s always out of step
  7. A spectral straggler
  8. A haunt that’s perpetually late
  9. A ghostly procrastinator πŸ‘»
  10. A phantom that’s always running behind
  11. A spirit that’s perpetually out of sync
  12. A ghost that’s always getting lost in the ethers
  13. A spectral snail
  14. A ghost that’s always the last to arrive at a seance
  15. A phantom that’s always one step behind
  16. A spirit that’s always missing the boat
  17. A ghost that’s always a day late and a dollar short
  18. A spectral slowpoke πŸ‘»
  19. A ghost that’s always behind the times
  20. A phantom that’s always out of sync with the living world

A lagging specter

  1. What do you call a ghost who can’t keep up? A lagging specter.
  2. Why did the ghost get lost? Because it didn’t have a spectral map. πŸ‘»
  3. What do you call a ghost who’s always late? A procrastin-geist.
  4. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting sick? A spectral hypochondriac.
  5. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting lost? A wayward spirit.
  6. What do you call a ghost who’s always complaining? A moaning myrtle.
  7. What do you call a ghost who’s always hiding? A shygeist.
  8. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting into trouble? A spirit of mischief.
  9. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting into fights? A poltergeist.
  10. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting caught in the rain? A wet blanket. β˜”οΈ
  11. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting stuck in traffic? A phantom jam.
  12. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting lost in the woods? A spectral maze runner.
  13. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting into trouble? A spirit of disorder.
  14. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting caught in traps? A trapped ghost.
  15. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting into accidents? A spectral road hazard. πŸš—
  16. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting sick? A spectral hypochondriac.
  17. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting lost? A wandering spirit.
  18. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting into fights? A ghost of conflict.
  19. What do you call a ghost who’s always getting into trouble? A supernatural nuisance.
  20. What do you call a ghost who’s always making noise? A spectral screamer.

Why did the vampire get lost?

  1. Because he couldn’t see in front of his fangs.
  2. He was bat-tle-ing to find his way home. πŸ§›
  3. He took a wrong turn at batsylvania.
  4. He was caught in a bat-traffic jam.
  5. He lost his bat-sense. πŸ¦‡
  6. He was bat-tled by his GPS.
  7. He was too bat-legged to continue.
  8. He got lost in the bat-cave.
  9. He was driving his bat-mobile and ran out of gas.
  10. He was searching for the bat-signal but couldn’t find it.
  11. He was bitten by a bat and turned into a vampire bat and lost his way.
  12. He was flying upside down and couldn’t figure out which way was up.
  13. He was lost in the woods and couldn’t find his way back to his coffin.
  14. He was too bat-ty to find his way home.
  15. He was following a bat-map that was upside down. πŸ¦‡
  16. He was too busy sucking blood to pay attention to where he was going.
  17. He was lost in the fog and couldn’t see where he was going.
  18. He was drunk on blood and couldn’t remember how to get home.
  19. He was under a bat-spell and couldn’t control his movements.
  20. He was following a bat that was leading him in circles.

Because he didn’t have a bat-tery

  1. Why didn’t the vampire catch a cold? πŸ˜‚
  2. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?πŸŽƒ With a pumpkin patch.
  3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  4. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
  5. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  6. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
  7. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  9. Why didn’t the scarecrow win an award? Because he wasn’t outstanding in his field.
  10. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
  11. Why did the tomato turn red? πŸ˜‚ It saw the salad dressing.
  12. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
  13. Why did the computer get a cold? From its virus.
  14. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  15. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
  16. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  17. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  18. Why did the snowman get a job as a crossing guard? πŸ˜‚ Because he was good at stopping traffic.
  19. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
  20. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
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What do you call a zombie with no arms or legs?

  1. A squatter
  2. A zombie without a cause
  3. A shuffleBOARD
  4. A legless layabout
  5. A dead-end resident
  6. πŸ‘» A boneless wonder
  7. A skeleton in the closet
  8. A walking contradiction
  9. A hopless romantic
  10. A sit-in protestor
  11. A body without a soul
  12. A zombie athlete
  13. A living deadbeat
  14. A crawling corpse
  15. A zombie with no sense of direction
  16. A brainless braindead
  17. A zombie who can’t reach out
  18. A zombie who can’t walk away
  19. A zombie who can’t get a leg up
  20. A zombie with no legs to stand on

Ground beef

  1. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
  2. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  3. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
  4. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!🐠
  5. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
  6. What do you call a cow taking a nap? A bull-dozer!
  7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  8. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!
  9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  10. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!🐝
  11. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!
  12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!🐠
  13. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  14. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
  15. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!
  16. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
  17. What do you call a cow taking a nap? A bull-dozer!
  18. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  19. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!🐝
  20. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

Why did the werewolf get a job at the restaurant?

  1. Because he was always howling with laughter
  2. To serve up some of his killer burgers
  3. He was a natural at the grill, with his fiery temper
  4. He had a knack for turning customers into howling fans
  5. Because he was a “wolf” in the kitchen
  6. His hairy palms gave the burgers a unique texture
  7. He could “wolf” down a whole order in seconds
  8. The patrons loved his “fang-tastic” customer service
  9. He was always the life of the “paw-ty”
    πŸ”Ÿ. He had a special menu item called the “Silver Bullet Burger”
    1️⃣1️⃣. He was a “moon-lighting” chef, only working at night
    1️⃣2️⃣. His favorite dish to make? Howling good mashed potatoes πŸ₯”
    1️⃣3️⃣. He always tipped his waiters and waitresses a “paw-some” amount
    1️⃣4️⃣. He was known for his “ruff” demeanor in the kitchen
    1️⃣5️⃣. One customer asked for a steak. The werewolf replied, “Steak is moo-ving a little too fast for me tonight”
    1️⃣6️⃣. He was a master of the “paw-tisserie” arts
    1️⃣7️⃣. He had a secret ingredient he added to all his dishes: “werewolf spice” πŸΊπŸ§‚
    1️⃣8️⃣. The customers loved his “howling” good deals
    1️⃣9️⃣. He was always on the lookout for new “prey” (customers)
    2️⃣0️⃣. His signature dish was the “Fangsgiving Feast”
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Because he was always howling for more

  1. What do you call a wolf who loves music? A howling head-banger.
  2. Why did the wolf join a choir? 🐺 Because he was always howling for more!
  3. What do you call a wolf that’s always late? A howling behind.
  4. What’s a wolf’s favorite food? πŸ– Howling meatballs.
  5. What do you call a wolf that’s always getting into trouble? A howling menace.
  6. Why did the wolf get kicked out of the band? 🐺 Because he was always howling off-key.
  7. What do you call a wolf that’s always lost? πŸ—ΊοΈ A howling wanderer.
  8. What do you call a wolf that’s always complaining? 😫 A howling grump.
  9. What do you call a wolf that’s always sleeping? 😴 A howling snoozer.
  10. What do you call a wolf that’s always hungry? 🀀 A howling stomach.
  11. What do you call a wolf that’s always happy? 😁 A howling jolly.
  12. What do you call a wolf that’s always thirsty? πŸ’¦ A howling parched.
  13. What do you call a wolf that’s always cold? πŸ₯Ά A howling shiverer.
  14. What do you call a wolf that’s always hot? πŸ”₯ A howling swelter.
  15. What do you call a wolf that’s always scared? 😱 A howling coward.
  16. What do you call a wolf that’s always angry? 😑 A howling rager.
  17. What do you call a wolf that’s always sad? 😒 A howling mourner.
  18. What do you call a wolf that’s always tired? πŸ₯± A howling yawner.
  19. What do you call a wolf that’s always hungry? 🀀 A howling stomach.
  20. What do you call a wolf that’s always thirsty? πŸ’¦ A howling gulper.

What do you call a ghost that lives in a tree?

  1. A spooking hollow
  2. A tree-tenantπŸ‘»
  3. A branch’s booπŸ‘»
  4. A rootin’-tootin’ spectreπŸ‘»
  5. A barking birch haunt
  6. A screaming sycamore
  7. A howling hickory
  8. A moaning mapleπŸ‘»
  9. A windy willow wraith
  10. A shivering aspen shade
  11. A creaking oak phantom
  12. A haunting hemlock
  13. A poplar phantomπŸ‘»
  14. A beechwood boo
  15. A haunting hazel
  16. A ghostly gumtree
  17. A scary spruceπŸ‘»
  18. A pine-ful poltergeist
  19. A trembling tamarack
  20. A haunting fir

A bark-geist

  1. What do you call a ghost dog that barks? A bark-geist.πŸ‘»
  2. Why did the ghost dog get a wet nose? Because he was chasing a tail.
  3. What do you call a ghost dog that loves treats? A boo-tiful treat hound.
  4. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always in the shadows? A shade-y character.
  5. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into trouble? A paw-sitive troublemaker.
  6. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always disappearing? A vanish-hound. πŸ‘»
  7. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always barking at the moon? A howl-llen.
  8. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always running away? A fleeing-hound.
  9. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always hiding? A stealth-mutt.
  10. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always scared? A frighten-dog.
  11. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting lost? A misplaced-pup.
  12. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always licking itself? A tongue-tied-terrier.
  13. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always playing fetch? A retrieve-able.
  14. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into the trash? A dumpster-hound.
  15. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into the fridge? A woof-fridge-raider. πŸ‘»
  16. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into the pantry? A snack-stealing-spaniel.
  17. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into the garden? A dirt-digging-dachshund.
  18. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into the bathroom? A water-lappin-lab.
  19. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into the bedroom? A pillow-stealing-poodle.
  20. What do you call a ghost dog that’s always getting into the car? A road-trippin’-rottweiler.

Why did the ghost eat the scarecrow?

  1. Because he was dying for a corny joke!
  2. What do you call a ghost with a sweet tooth? A boo-berry πŸ‘»
  3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  4. What’s a ghost’s favorite vegetable? BOOccoli!
  5. What happened when the ghost tripped and fell? He broke his sheet πŸ˜…
  6. Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to the other side! (A classic pun never gets old!)
  7. What do you call a scared ghost? A spooktacular!
  8. Why did the ghost get lost in the supermarket? Because he couldn’t find the BOO-nana aisle!
  9. What do you call a ghost wearing a raincoat? A waterproof spirit!
  10. Why don’t ghosts like to take baths? Because it washes away their BOO-tiful glow!
  11. What’s a ghost’s favorite dance move? The Thriller!
  12. Why was the ghost so good at playing hide-and-seek? Because he was always disappearing!
  13. What do you call a ghost with no arms? A hugless spirit!
  14. Why did the ghost get a job at the library? To read BOO-ks!
  15. What do you call a ghost who travels a lot? A roaming spirit!
  16. Why did the ghost get a degree in psychology? He wanted to get inside people’s BOO-ds! (πŸ§ πŸ˜‚)
  17. What’s a ghost’s favorite way to relax? By watching BOO-vies!
  18. Why did the ghost join a choir? To sing BOO-tiful melodies! (πŸŽΆπŸ‘»)
  19. What do you call a ghost who’s always happy? A BOO-tiful soul!
  20. Why did the ghost open a haunted house? To scare up some laughs! (πŸŽƒπŸ˜‚)
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Because it had no guts

  1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? 🎩
  2. What do you call a belt made out of watches? ⌚️ A waist of time.
  3. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? πŸ‘– In case he got a hole-in-one.
  4. Why did the bicycle fall over? 🚲 Because it was two tired.
  5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? 🐟 Fsh!
  6. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? πŸ’» It had a byte in its back.
  7. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? ⛄️ An abdominal snowman.
  8. Why did the math book look so sad? 😒 It was full of problems.
  9. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish? 🐘🐟 Swimming trunks!
  10. Why did the orange go to the gym? 🍊 To get some peel-ups.
  11. Why did the banana go to the doctor? 🍌 It wasn’t peeling well.
  12. What do you call a dolphin that does magic tricks? 🐬 A porpoise with a purpose.
  13. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? 🎩 It was outstanding in its field.
  14. What do you call a belt made out of watches? ⌚️ A waist of time.
  15. Why did the bicycle fall over? 🚲 Because it was two tired.
  16. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? ⛄️ An abdominal snowman.
  17. Why did the math book look so sad? 😒 It was full of problems.
  18. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish? 🐘🐟 Swimming trunks!
  19. Why did the orange go to the gym? 🍊 To get some peel-ups.
  20. Why did the banana go to the doctor? 🍌 It wasn’t peeling well.

What do you call a witch who can’t fly?

  1. A grounded witch
  2. A non-flyer
  3. A pedestrian witch πŸ§™
  4. A grounded ghoul
  5. A stay-at-home sorceress
  6. A witch-in-waiting πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ
  7. A broomstick bound beauty
  8. A powerless potion peddler πŸ§ͺ
  9. A spellcaster who’s lost her ✨
  10. A cauldron-bound crone
  11. A witch with bad altitude ✈️
  12. A broomstick bummer 🧹
  13. A witch without a lift πŸ’¨
  14. A gravity-loving witch 🌍
  15. A grounded griffin πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ
  16. A witch with a fear of heights ⛰️
  17. A flightless sorceress πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ
  18. A witch with a flat broom 🧹
  19. A grounded spellcaster πŸš«πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ
  20. A hexed hexpert 🀐

A grounded witch

  1. What do you call a witch who lives in a house? A ground-floor flyer.
  2. Why did the witch get lost in the woods? Because she didn’t have her broom-broom!
  3. What do you get when you cross a witch with a bee? A flying spellcaster. 🌲
  4. What do you call a witch who’s always on the go? A whisk-taker.
  5. Why did the witch go to the hardware store? To buy some new spells. 🧹
  6. What do you call a witch who’s always late for everything? A broom-pedestrian.
  7. What do you call a witch who’s always getting into trouble? A spellbound delinquent.
  8. What do you call a witch who’s always losing her keys? A lock-picking enchantress.
  9. What do you call a witch who’s always complaining about the weather? A spell-caster downer. πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ
  10. What do you call a witch who’s always making mistakes? A hex-pert.
  11. What do you call a witch who’s always getting into accidents? A crash-landing enchantress.
  12. What do you call a witch who’s always trying to save money? A spell-saving spendthrift.
  13. What do you call a witch who’s always getting into fights? A spell-bound brawler.
  14. What do you call a witch who’s always getting lost? A wayward enchantress. 🧹
  15. What do you call a witch who’s always getting into trouble with the law? An arrest-able offender. πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ
  16. What do you call a witch who’s always getting caught in the rain? A wet-weather witch.
  17. What do you call a witch who’s always getting sick? An ill-humored enchantress.
  18. What do you call a witch who’s always getting into accidents? A clumsy spell-caster. 🌲
  19. What do you call a witch who’s always losing her temper? A spell-bound hothead.
  20. What do you call a witch who’s always making messes? A spell-casting slob.

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