163+ Dirty Xmas Puns That’ll Make You Blush With Laughter!

Ho, ho, ho! The holidays are upon us, and with them comes all the festive cheer and laughter. What better way to spread some holiday joy than with a few dirty Christmas puns?These puns are sure to get a chuckle out of your friends and family, and they’re perfect for sharing on social media or using as a caption for your holiday photos. So, whether you’re looking to spread some Christmas cheer or just want to have a good laugh, these dirty Christmas puns are sure to do the trick.Read on for some of the best dirty Christmas puns out there, and don’t forget to share your favorites with your friends!Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? Because he left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No eye deer!What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!Why did the gingerbread man get lost in the woods? Because he didn’t have any maps or compasses!What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer!What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!What do you call a reindeer with no legs? Still no eye deer!What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer!

What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?

1. No eye deer 🦌
2. A blind reindeer
3. A deer with antlers and no vision 👓
4. A reindeer with a disability ♿
5. A deer that can’t see the forest for the trees 🌲
6. A reindeer with a visual impairment
7. A deer that’s been “deer-blind” 😳
8. A reindeer that’s “in the dark”
9. A reindeer that’s “not seeing clearly”
10. A deer that’s “looking for glasses” 👀
11. A deer that’s “lost its way” 🧭
12. A reindeer that’s “following its nose” 👃
13. A deer that’s “feeling its way around” ✋
14. A reindeer that’s “bumping into things” 💥
15. A deer that’s “tripping over its own feet” 👣
16. A deer that’s “making a spectacle of itself” 👓
17. A reindeer that’s “seeing double” 👀
18. A deer that’s “going cross-eyed” 😵
19. A reindeer that’s “blinking a lot” 👀
20. A deer that’s “rubbing its eyes” 👀

Nose.

1. What do you call a nose that’s always running? A snot rocket!
2. Why don’t noses like Mondays? Because they’re always stuffed up! 🤣
3. What do you call a nose that’s too big? A honker!
4. What do you call a nose that’s always getting picked? A booger mine!
5. Why are noses such good detectives? Because they’re always on the scent!
6. What do you call a nose that’s always getting sunburned? A freckle factory!
7. How do you fix a broken nose? With a nose job!
8. What do you call a nose that’s always getting into trouble? A trouble sniffer!
9. Why did the nose get lost? Because it didn’t have a map!
10. What do you call a nose that’s always in the air? A snooty nose!
11. Why don’t noses like to dance? Because they’re always tripping over their feet!
12. What do you call a nose that’s always getting caught in the cold? A frosty nose!
13. Why are noses so nosy? Because they’re always getting their noses into other people’s business!
14. What do you call a nose that’s always getting lost? A wanderer! 😍
15. Why don’t noses like to go to the beach? Because they get sunburned too easily!
16. What do you call a nose that’s always getting into mischief? A troublemaker!
17. Why did the nose get a cold? Because it was always blowing its nose!
18. What do you call a nose that’s always getting into trouble? A black sheep!
19. Why don’t noses like to go to the doctor? Because they’re afraid of getting a shot!
20. What do you call a nose that’s always getting lost in the woods? A lost nose!

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

• An “Ab-solute Snowman” ❄️
• A “Frosty Muscle-maker” ☃️💪
• A “Snowmacho” 💪☃️
• A “Chiseled Snow-Chad” 🦸‍♂️☃️
• A “Snowman with a Six-pack of Ice” 🧊☃️
• A “Cool and Collected Snowman” ❄️☃️
• A “Buffed-up Snowman” 💪💪☃️
• A “Yoked up Snowman” 💪❄️
• A “Snowman with a Chiseled Physique” ☃️🏋️‍♂️
• A “Snowman with a Frosted Six-pack” ⛄️🧊
• A “Jacked Frost-man” 💪🌨️
• A “Snow-cular Snowman” 💪☃️❄️
• A “Snowman in Peak Physical Form” ☃️🥇
• A “Snow-flexing Snowman” 💪☃️💪
• A “Snowman with a Solid Core” ☃️❤️
• A “Frosty with a Six-pack of Ice Cubes” ❄️🧊☃️
• A “Snowman with Washboard Abs” ☃️🍫
• A “Snowman that’s a Catch” 🎣☃️
• A “Snowman with a Killer Bod” 🥶💪☃️

An abdominal snowman.

• Why did the snowman get a tummy ache? Because he ate too much snow-cones! 🥶
• What do you call an abdominal snowman with a six-pack? An ice cube! 🧊
• Why couldn’t the snowman hold his laughter? He had a snow-cone in his mouth! 😂
• What do you call a snowman with a sense of humor? A snow-cone-isseur!
• Why did the snowman get lost in the grocery store? Because he was looking for the ice cream aisle! 🍦
• What did the snowman say to the carrot-nosed boy? “Stick around!”
• Why did the snowman get a sunburn? Because he was out in the sun too long! ☀️
• What do you call a snowman who loves to dance? A snow-ballerina!
• Why did the snowman get a divorce? Because he was always getting the cold shoulder!
• What do you call a snowman who’s always late? A snow-flake! ❄️
• Why did the snowman get a parking ticket? Because he took up too much snow space!
• What do you call a snowman who’s a good singer? A snow-caroler!
• Why did the snowman get a job at the aquarium? Because he wanted to keep his cool! 🐟
• What do you call a snowman who’s always in trouble? A snow-bully!
• Why did the snowman get a library card? Because he wanted to check out some snow-flakes! 📚
• What do you call a snowman who’s a good cook? A snow-chef! 🧑‍🍳
• Why did the snowman get a tattoo? Because he wanted to be cool! 😎
• What do you call a snowman who’s always getting into fights? A snow-brawler!
• Why did the snowman get a new phone? Because his old one was snow-cone!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

1. No idea.
2. A deer with no eye-deer.
3. A blind buck. 👀
4. A doe with a bad case of tunnel vision.
5. A stag with a missing peephole.
6. A fawn with a case of no-eye-sight.
7. A deer with a permanent case of the squints.
8. A cervid with a severe case of astigmatism.
9. A hooved ungulate with a serious case of ocular deficiency.
10. A wild ruminant with a lack of optical acuity.
11. A quadruped with a deficiency in visual perception.
12. A woodland creature with a severe case of tunnel vision.
13. A herbivorous mammal with a lack of depth perception.
14. A non-seeing deer with a rather limited field of vision.
15. A sightless deer with a knack for bumping into trees.
16. A deer with a perpetual case of the blind staggers.
17. A cervine with a severe case of night blindness. 🔦
18. A deer that can’t see the forest for the trees.
19. A deer that’s always one step behind the others.
20. A deer that’s always getting lost.

No eye deer.

1. I have a deer friend who is always making these terrible jokes. I’m starting to lose my eye deer. 👀
2. Why did the deer cross the road? To get to the other sigh (side).
3. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
4. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.
5. Why did the deer go to the doctor? He had a buck fever.
6. What do you call a deer that’s always late? A deer-lay.
7. Why did the deer wear a vest? Because he wanted to look fawn-cy.
8. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble? A wild child.
9. Why did the deer go to the dentist? He had a doe-uble cavity.
10. What do you call a deer that loves to dance? A doe-si-doe.
11. Why did the deer go to the mechanic? He had a flat tire.
12. What do you call a deer that’s always tired? A sleepy doe.
13. Why did the deer get a library card? To check out the doe-cumentaries. 📚
14. What do you call a deer that’s always happy? A cheer-deer.
15. Why did the deer get a job at the radio station? To give the traffic re-deer-t.
16. What do you call a deer that’s always hungry? A snack-rifice.
17. Why did the deer go to the car wash? To get his doe washed.
18. What’s a deer’s favorite kind of music? Heavy metal. 🤘
19. Why did the deer cross the road? To get to the udder side.
20. What do you call a deer that’s always getting lost? A dis-doe-riented deer.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

1. Fsh!
2. A blind fish.
3. A fish that can’t see.
4. A fisheye joke. 👀
5. A fish that’s just sea-ing things.
6. A fish that’s all washed up.
7. A fish that’s lost its sea legs.
8. A fish that’s out of its element.
9. A fish that’s not all there.
10. A fish that’s a little fishy.
11. A fish that’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.
12. A fish that’s just swimming with the tide.
13. A fish that’s a little bit of a flake.
14. A fish that’s all wet behind the gills.
15. A fish that’s just going through the motions.
16. A fish that’s a bit of a sea dog. 🐶
17. A fish that’s just floating around.
18. A fish that’s a bit of a loner.
19. A fish that’s just trying to find its place in the world.
20. A fish that’s just a little bit different. 🐠

Fsh.

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 👀
2. Why did the fish get lost? Because it didn’t have any GPS!
3. What do you call a fish that can’t swim? A sinker!
4. Why did the octopus get a job at the bank? Because it had eight arms for counting!
5. What do you call a fish that’s always late? A tardy fish!
6. What do you call a fish with no scales? A catfish!
7. Why did the fish go to the doctor? Because it had a swimming fever!
8. What do you call a fish that’s always in trouble? A guppy!
9. What do you call a fish that’s always getting lost? A wanderer fish!
10. What do you call a fish that’s always laughing? A giggler fish!
11. What do you call a fish that’s always smiling? A happy fish!
12. What do you call a fish that’s always angry? A grouch fish!
13. What do you call a fish that’s always tired? A sleepy fish!
14. What do you call a fish that’s always hungry? A hungry fish!
15. What do you call a fish that’s always scared? A frightened fish!
16. What do you call a fish that’s always clumsy? A clumsy fish!
17. What do you call a fish that’s always forgetful? A forgetful fish!
18. What do you call a fish that’s always lazy? A lazy fish!
19. What do you call a fish that’s always complaining? A whiny fish!
20. What do you call a fish that’s always getting into trouble? A mischievous fish! 🐟

What do you call a reindeer with no legs?

1. A ground reindeer!
2. A handicap deer.
3. All hooves in!
4. A reindeer-on-wheels.
5. A disabled deer.
6. A ground-bound reindeer.
7. A reindeer with a mobility impairment. 🦌
8. A deer on the mend.
9. A reindeer in a wheelchair.
10. Half-a-deer!
11. A deer without a leg to stand on.
12. A deer on crutches.
13. A reindeer in need of a lift.
14. A deer that’s grounded.
15. A reindeer that’s lost its legs in the war.
16. A deer-angeled deer.
17. A reindeer that’s down on its luck.
18. A reindeer that’s in a rut.
19. A deer that’s at the end of its rope.

Still no eye deer.

• What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
• Why did the deer cross the road? To get to the other side.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
• Why did the deer go to the doctor? To get its eyes checked.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. 🤦‍♀️
• Why did the deer cross the road? To get to the other side. 😁
• What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
• Why did the deer go to the doctor? To get its eyes checked.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. 😊
• Why did the deer cross the road? To get to the other side.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
• Why did the deer go to the doctor? To get its eyes checked.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
• Why did the deer cross the road? To get to the other side. 😂

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

• An absnowman
• A buff snowman
• A chill-out snowman
• A flexin’ snowman
• A shredded snowman
• A snow-sculpted adonis
• A winter warrior
• A snowman with a snow-cial life
• A snow-bound bodybuilder
• A snowman with a six-pack of snowballs ❄️
• A snowman who’s been hitting the snow gym
• A snowman who’s all about the snow gainz 💪
• A snowman who’s ready to show off his snow muscles
• A snowman who’s been working on his snow-cial media presence
• A snowman who’s got a snow-cial life
• A snowman who’s always up for a snow-cial gathering
• A snowman who’s the life of the snowcial party

An abdominal snowman.

1. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman 🏋️‍♂️
2. Why did the snowman get a job at the ice cream shop? Because he had a cool personality 🍦
3. What do you call a snowman that can change its shape? A flexi-snowman ❄️
4. What do you call a snowman that’s always cold? A shiver-me-timbers snowman 🥶
5. What do you call a snowman that’s always happy? A snow-happy-man 😊
6. What do you call a snowman that’s always angry? A snow-tantrum-man 😡
7. What do you call a snowman that’s always tired? A snow-la-zy-man 😴💤
8. What do you call a snowman that’s always hungry? A snow-much-ivore-man 🤤
9. What do you call a snowman that’s always sad? A snow-cry-baby-man 🥺😭
10. What do you call a snowman that’s always late? A snow-procrastinator-man 🐢
11. What do you call a snowman that’s always scared? A snow-fraidy-cat-man 🙀
12. What do you call a snowman that’s always laughing? A snow-giggles-man 😆😂😅
13. What do you call a snowman that’s always dancing? A snow-boogie-man 🕺💃🎉
14. What do you call a snowman that’s always singing? A snow-karaoke-man 🎤🎵🎶
15. What do you call a snowman that’s always playing games? A snow-gamer-man 🎮🕹️🎲
16. What do you call a snowman that’s always reading? A snow-bookworm-man 📚🤓👓
17. What do you call a snowman that’s always watching TV? A snow-couch-potato-man 📺🍿🎮
18. What do you call a snowman that’s always on the phone? A snow-selfie-man 🤳📱📸
19. What do you call a snowman that’s always taking naps? A snow-siesta-man 😴💤🥱
20. What do you call a snowman that’s always getting into trouble? A snow-mischief-maker-man 😈🤪🤣

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

1. A groundhog!
2. Still no idea deer!
3. Blind and limbless!
4. A no-eyed, no-legged deer!
5. A deer-ly departed! 🦌
6. A hoofless, eyeless wonder!
7. A venny-son that’s hard to see!
8. A perpetual Bambi!
9. A doe-nut! 🍩
10. A faun-tastically invisible creature!
11. A certifiable hoof-no-see-um!
12. A deer-of-invisibility!
13. A buck-eyed deer with no legs to stand on! 🤓
14. A deer-anged from the beginning! 👼
15. A stag-nant puddle of flesh!
16. A fallow deer that’s missing a few pieces!
17. A reindeer that got lost in the fog! 🌫️
18. A roe deer that’s been run over! 🚗💨
19. A faun-damental flaw of nature!
20. A deer-anged venison! 🍽️

Still no eye deer.

1. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
2. Why did the deer cross the road? To get to the udder side.
3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
4. Why did the deer get lost? Because he didn’t have his doe-pendence. 🦌
5. What do you call a deer that’s always running late? A tardy buck.
6. What do you call a deer that loves to swim? A water buck.
7. Why did the deer go to the bank? To get a doe-posit.
8. What do you call a deer that’s always on the lookout? A watchful stag.
9. Why did the deer join the orchestra? Because he wanted to be a part of the herd. 🎵
10. Why did the deer get a job at the grocery store? To help with the deer-y.
11. What do you call a deer that’s always laughing? A merry buck.
12. Why did the deer cross the road twice? To get to the odd side.
13. What do you call a deer that’s always getting into trouble? A reckless buck.
14. Why did the deer go to the doctor? To get his antlers checked.
15. What do you call a deer that’s always on time? A pun-ctual stag.
16. Why did the deer get a tattoo? To show off his doe-nage.
17. What do you call a deer that’s always complaining? A whiny buck.
18. Why did the deer get a job as a teacher? To help the students buck-up.
19. What do you call a deer that’s always making puns? A pun-deer-ful creature.
20. Why did the deer get a job at the art museum? To be a master of bucks. 🖼️