177+ Hockey Pucks of Fun: Puns That’ll Score Big!

Get ready to lace up your skates and embark on a hilarious journey through the world of hockey puns! As a puck-loving enthusiast, I know that laughter is just as important as scoring goals. So, let’s drop the gloves and dive into a zamboni-load of puns that will leave you howling like a wolf at a moonlit rink.I’m not sure if it’s a slapshot or a pun, but these jokes are bound to score big! We’ll cover everything from puck-dropping punchlines to penalty-killing quips. Whether you’re a seasoned player or just a fan of the game, I guarantee you’ll find yourself grinning like a Cheshire cat after reading these gems.So, grab your hockey stick (or your remote) and settle in for a penalty-free period of laughter. Let’s face-off with funniness and leave the ice feeling like you’ve won the Stanley Cup of comedy!

Pucking Funny: A Slew of Hockey Puns

1. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? Puck toothless! 🏒
2. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other puck! 🥅
3. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A puck on ice! ⛸️
4. Why did the hockey team take a nap? Because they were goal-den! 💤
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A puck tard! 🐢
6. Why did the hockey player get a cold? Because he was stuck in the puck zone! 🤒
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A puck-punching bag! 🤕
8. Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? Because he was pucking sick! 😷
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always complaining? A puck whiner! 🗣️🤣
10. Why did the hockey player get lost? Because he didn’t have a pucking clue! 🗺️❓
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A puckin’ brawler! 🏒👊
12. Why did the hockey player get a tattoo? Because he wanted to puck it up! 💉🎨
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A pucking menace! 🚨😡
14. Why did the hockey player get a haircut? Because he wanted to trim his pucklet! ✂️🥅
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting benched? A pucking benchwarmer! 🥶💺
16. Why did the hockey player get a job as a crossing guard? Because he was pucking awesome at stopping traffic! 🚏👮‍♂️
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting pucks in the face? A puck punching bag! 🥊🥅
18. Why did the hockey player get a job as a butcher? Because he was puckin’ good at cutting meat! 🔪🥩
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting lost? A pucking wayfinder! 🗺️❓
20. Why did the hockey player get a job as a teacher? Because he was puckin’ good at educating! 📚👨‍🏫

Slap-Shot Sensations: Hilarious Hockey Jokes

1. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A puck-puncher.
2. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hurt? A puckered-up patient.
3. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A stick-wielding sinner.
4. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting the puck stolen? A stick-handling disaster.
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his shots blocked? A frustrated-shot shooter.
6. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting tripped? A clumsy-footed skater.
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting checked? A puck-pummeled player.
8. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting carried off the ice? A stretcher-bound superstar.
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalized for embellishment? A diva-on-the-ice.
10. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured by his own teammates? A friendly-fire victim.
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting lost on the ice? A rink-rat rump.
12. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hit by the puck? A target-magnet maestro.
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting caught offside? A boundary-breaking buffoon.
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his stick stolen? A stick-losing lout.
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his gear stolen? A locker-room larcenist.
16. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his skates stolen? A blade-less buffoon.
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his helmet stolen? A head-empty hooligan.
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his gloves stolen? A hand-less hockeyist.
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his pads stolen? A leg-less lout.
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting his jersey stolen? A shirtless skater. 🏒

Goal-den Humor: Puns for Hockey Enthusiasts

1. What do you call a hockey rink that’s always cold? An ice cap-ade.
2. What do you get when you combine a hockey game and a math class? A puck-ulus.
3. Why did the hockey player buy a new net? Because his old one was full of holes! 🏒
4. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hurt? A puck-magnet.
5. What do you call a hockey player who can’t stop scoring goals? A Gordie Howe-verachiever.
6. What do you call a hockey player who’s always on time? A puck-tual guy.
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always making mistakes? A puck-up artist.
8. What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing? A puck-loser.
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A Puck-inator.
10. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A puck-head.
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting suspended? A puck-off artist.
12. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting traded? A puck-peddler.
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hurt? A puck-punching bag.
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting sick? A puck-flu patient.
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting lost? A puck-up truck.
16. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting picked on? A puck-ey.
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting benched? A puck-sitter.
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting carded? A puck-up artist.
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting kicked out of games? A puck-up line.
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A puck-up line.

Icing on the Cake: Sweet Hockey Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call an ice hockey player who always scores? A puck-fectionist!
2. Why did the hockey puck go to the doctor? It was icing!
3. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A puck-holder!
4. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a baker? A goal-den brown puck!
5. Why was the hockey team so successful? Because they had a puck-load of skill!
6. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A gummer!
7. Why did the hockey puck cross the road? To get to the other slide! 🏒
8. What do you get when you combine a hockey puck and a donut? A hole-in-one! 🍩
9. What do you call a hockey player who only plays for the money? A puck-earner!
10. Why did the hockey puck get a new job? Because it was tired of being checked!
11. What do you call a hockey player who is always in the penalty box? A penalty-prone player!
12. Why did the goalie wear two pairs of socks? In case he got cold feet! 🧦
13. What do you call a hockey player who is always tripping over the puck? A stumble-bum!
14. Why did the hockey coach yell at the team? Because they were playing like a bunch of puck-heads!
15. What do you call a hockey player who is always fighting? A puck-puncher!
16. Why did the hockey puck get a speeding ticket? Because it was caught speeding down the ice! 🚔
17. What do you call a hockey player who is always late for practice? A puck-tard!
18. Why did the hockey puck go to the bank? To make a de-puck-sit! 💰
19. What do you call a hockey player who is always getting injured? A puck-head!
20. Why did the hockey player put his skates in the freezer? To make ice-skates! ⛸️

Penalty Minutes of Laughter: Hockey-Themed Humor

1. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A puck bunny! 🥅
2. Why did the hockey player get lost? Because he took a wrong puck! 🏒
3. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A penalty killer! ⏰
4. Why did the hockey puck go to the doctor? It was feeling puckered! 🤕
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always in the penalty box? A penalty box legend! 🥅
6. Why was the hockey player’s car towed? Because it was parked in the penalty zone! 🚗
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A human puck! 🤕
8. Why did the hockey coach get a new job? Because he kept getting iced! 🧊
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always fighting? A puck puncher! 🥊
10. Why did the hockey player get a sunburn? Because he was always on the ice! ☀️
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always scoring goals? A puck-scoring machine! 🥅
12. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other puck! 🏒
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A penalty magnet! 🧲
14. Why did the hockey player get a divorce? Because his wife always said he was pucking around! 💔
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hit? A puck magnet! 🧲
16. Why did the hockey player get a job at the library? Because he was always reading the puck! 📚
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting lost? A puckhead! 🏒
18. Why did the hockey player get a new car? Because his old one was a puck magnet! 🧲
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A puck magnet! 🧲
20. Why did the hockey player get a tattoo? Because he wanted to show off his puck skills! 🎨

Hat Tricks of Puns: Scoring Big with Hockey Jokes

• What do you call a hockey player who can’t keep his stick on the ice? A puck bunny! 🏒
• Why did the hockey puck cross the road? To get to the other sideboard! 🥅
• What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A penalty killer! 🥊
• What’s the difference between a hockey player and a sushi chef? One rolls sushi, and the other rolls pucks! 🍣🏒
• Why did the hockey team get lost? Because they couldn’t find the puck drop! 🗺️
• What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A penalty box regular! ⏰
• Why did the hockey player take a nap on the bench? Because he was ice-olated! 💤❄️
• What do you call a hockey player who’s always late for practice? A breakaway! 💨
• Why did the hockey player get a new pair of skates? Because his old ones were too puckered! ⛸️
• What’s the difference between a hockey player and a vacuum cleaner? One sucks up dirt, and the other sucks up ice! 🧹❄️
• Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? Because he had a puck in his throat! 🤒🏒
• What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hurt? A broken stick! 🤕🏑
• Why did the hockey goalie wear a tuxedo? Because he was going to the puck drop! 🐧🥅
• What do you call a hockey player who’s always on the bench? A spare puck! Puck Puck Puck Puck Puck
• Why did the hockey team get a new coach? Because their old coach was too icy! ❄️
• What do you call a hockey player who’s always tripping? A penalty magnet! 🧲
• Why did the hockey player get a traffic ticket? Because he was driving in the puck lane! 🚓🏒
• What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting called offside? A puck hog! 🐖🏒
• Why did the hockey player get lost in the forest? Because he couldn’t find the puck drop! 🌲

Face-Off with Funniness: Hockey Jokes to Break the Ice

1. What do you call a hockey player who can’t hold on? A puck drop!
2. Why don’t hockey players like raisins? Because they’re hard to handle! 🏒
3. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A Zamboni! 🦷
4. Why did the hockey puck go to the doctor? It was feeling a little puckered! 😜
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always offside? An out-of-bounds bandit!
6. Why are hockey players so good at math? Because they can always find the back of the net! 🥅
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s afraid of the puck? A chicken wing! 🐓
8. Why are hockey players so good at cooking? Because they know how to skate the meat!
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A goon with a spoon! 🥄
10. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other zamboni!
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing? A puck luck loser!
12. Why did the hockey player get a new car? Because his old one was a puck magnet! 🧲
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A slow poke check! ⏰
14. Why are hockey players so good at video games? Because they’re used to using sticks and controllers! 🕹️
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always making mistakes? A rookie with a loose puck! 🏒
16. Why did the hockey player eat a lemon? Because he wanted to sour the puck! 🍋
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A glass half empty! 🚑
18. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To cash in his hat trick! 🎩
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always sleeping? A snooze-fest! 😴
20. Why did the hockey player cross the ocean? To get to the other tide! 🌊

Offsides of Laughter: Puck-ing Good Hockey Puns

1. Ice to meet you!
2. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A penalty box regular.
3. Why did the hockey puck get a speeding ticket? It was caught going 5-hole.
4. What do you call a hockey player who always scores? A goal-den child.
5. Why did the hockey player bring his skates to bed? In case he had to make a breakaway.
6. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A puck tard. 🏒
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A pugilist.
8. What’s the best way to make new friends on the ice? Break the ice with a good pun.
9. Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? He had a puck in his teeth. 🏒
10. What do you call a hockey player who’s always on the bench? A spare-tire.
11. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other puck.
12. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A frequent flyer.
13. Why don’t hockey players ever get lost? Because they always have a puck to guide them. 🏒
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A walking wounded.
15. Why did the hockey player wear a helmet with holes in it? So he could hear the coach better.
16. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a golfer? A hockey player uses a stick and a golfer uses a club.
17. Why did the hockey player get a job as a crossing guard? Because he was good at stopping pucks. 🏒
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting called for hooking? A line-dancer.
19. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get a “penalty” loan.
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A human puck magnet.

Power Play of Puns: A Major Hit for Hockey Fans

1. What do you call a hockey player who always takes penalties? A puckhead! 🏒
2. Why did the hockey player get lost? Because he took a wrong turn at the ice-rinktion! ❄️
3. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A penalty box office! 🥊
4. How do hockey players stay warm when they’re on the ice? They skate to the penalty box! 🔥
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A human puck magnet! 🤕
6. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a boomerang? A puck that comes back to you! 🥅
7. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a ballerina? One skates on ice and the other dances on their tippy-toes! 🩰
8. How do hockey players get ready for a game? They put on their skates and brace themselves! ⛸️
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always cold? A chill-i-puck! 🥶
10. Why did the hockey player get a parking ticket? Because he left his Zamboni running! 🚔
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A puck-tardy! 🕑
12. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a magician? A player who can make pucks disappear! 🎩
13. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other side of the rink! 🛣️
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting sick? A puck-sneezer! 😷
15. Why did the hockey player get a divorce? Because his wife said he was too “icing on the cake”! 💍💔
16. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a computer? A player who can code like a pro! 💻
17. Why did the hockey player get lost in the woods? Because he couldn’t find the puck drop! 🌲
18. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a lawyer? A hockey player knows when to drop the puck! 🏒⚖️
19. Why did the hockey player get fired? Because he was always getting into fights and taking penalties! 🚫
20. Why did the hockey player visit the eye doctor? Because he was seeing pucks! 👁️‍🗨️

Short-Handed Humor: Penalty Killing Hockey Puns

1. What do you call a hockey player who’s always short-handed? A penalty killer.
2. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other puck. 🏒
3. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A puck-toothed grin.
4. What do you call a hockey player who can’t stop scoring? A goal-den boy. 🥅
5. Why are hockey players so good at math? Because they know how to score!
6. What do you call a hockey player who’s always on the ice? A regular skater. ⛸️
7. Why did the hockey player put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash. 💰
8. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A pugilist on ice. 🥊
9. Why did the hockey player take a nap in the penalty box? Because he wanted to catch some shut-eye. 👀
10. What do you call a hockey player who’s always late for practice? A puck-tard. 🐢
11. Why did the hockey player cross the road twice? To get to the other side and back. 🤔
12. What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing his stick? A fumble-puck. 🏑
13. Why did the hockey player put his skates in the oven? Because he wanted to make some hot pucks. 🥵
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always tripping over his own feet? A stumble-bum. ⛸️
15. Why did the hockey player get a job at the library? Because he wanted to read all the pucking books. 📚
16. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A broken-down puckster. 🤕
17. Why did the hockey player take his team to the doctor? Because they were all feeling puckish. 🤢
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing his puck? A puckhead. 🤪
19. Why did the hockey player cross the road with a chicken? To get to the other clucking side. 🐓
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalized? A bad puck-itude. 😡

Overtime Outtakes: Extra Periods of Hockey Jokes

1. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A puck bunny.
2. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A Zamboni driver.
3. What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing his stick? A stick-ler.
4. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A puck-up artist.
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalized? A penalty-killer.
6. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hit by the puck? A puck-head. 🏒
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting tripped? A trip-master.
8. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting checked? A checker-upper.
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hit by the other team’s players? A hit-man.
10. What do you call a hockey player who’s always scoring goals? A goal-getter.
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always making saves? A net-minder.
12. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting assists? An assist-ant.
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting power plays? A power-player.
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalty shots? A penalty-shot artist.
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hat tricks? A hat-trick hero.
16. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting shutouts? A whitewasher.
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting overtime goals? An overtime outtake.
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting empty-net goals? An empty-netter.
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting game-winning goals? A game-winner.
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting the last laugh? A Stanley Cup champion. 🥇

Triple Overtime of Laughs: Puck-tastic Hockey Puns

1. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A puckhead. 🏒
2. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A pest. 🥅
3. What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing? A loser. 🤷‍♂️
4. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A liability. 🤕
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always making mistakes? A turnover machine. 🔄
6. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalized? A penalty box regular. 🟨
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting icing calls? A cherry picker. 🍒
8. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting caught offside? A fly in the ointment.
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting robbed by the goalie? A brick wall. 🧱
10. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting scored on? A sieve. 🥅
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A walking wounded. 🤕
12. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting sick? A germ magnet. 🦠
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A pugilist. 🥊
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalized? A penalty killer. 🟥
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting benched? A bench warmer. 🥶
16. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting traded? A journeyman. ✈️
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting cut? A free agent. 🆓
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting signed? A contract killer. 💰
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting suspended? A bad boy. 🚫
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hurt? A liability. 🤕

Shootout Shenanigans: Penalty Shot Hockey Puns

1. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalized? A penalty shot artist!
2. What do you call a hockey player who’s afraid of the puck? A puck bunny!
3. What do you call a hockey player who’s always tripping over himself? A puck-up artist!
4. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting into fights? A slapshot specialist!
5. What do you call a hockey player who’s always missing the net? A wide-right expert!
6. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting hurt? A puck-head!
7. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting sick? A germ-a-phobe! 😉
8. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting lost? A puck-up truck!
9. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting benched? A bench warmer!
10. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting traded? A puck-packing machine!
11. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting demoted to the minors? A puck-downer!
12. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting suspended? A pucked-up player!
13. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting fined? A puck-poor player!
14. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting injured? A puck-up truck!
15. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting caught offside? A puck-up artist!
16. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalized for roughing? A puck-up artist!
17. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting kicked out of the game? A puck-up artist!
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting benched? A puck-up artist!
19. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting fined? A puck-up artist!
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting suspended? A puck-up artist!

Zamboni Smiles: Resurfacing the Ice with Hockey Jokes

1. Why did the Zamboni driver get lost? Because he didn’t have a good ice-breaker.
2. What do you call a hockey player who can’t skate? A Zamboni!
3. Why are Zambonis so slow? So they don’t crack the ice 😭.
4. What do you get when you cross a Zamboni with a hockey stick? A Zamboni injury!
5. Why did the Zamboni get a speeding ticket? Because it was racing the clock!
6. What do you call a Zamboni that always leaves the ice bumpy? A bumpy-driver
7. Why did the Zamboni driver wear headphones? To listen to ice-lectronic music!
8. What do you call a Zamboni that’s always late? A slow-boni 🐌
9. Why did the Zamboni driver get lost on the way to the rink? Because he followed his iced directions!
10. What do you call a Zamboni driver who’s always sleeping? A snooze-boni
11. Why did the Zamboni driver get a promotion? Because he was a smooth operator!
12. What do you call a Zamboni that’s always breaking down? A Zamboni that needs a Zamboni!
13. Why did the Zamboni driver have to go to the dentist? Because he had a cavity in his ice tooth! 🦷
14. What do you call a Zamboni that’s always out of gas? A run-out Zamboni
15. Why did the Zamboni driver cross the road? To resurface the other side!
16. What do you call a Zamboni that’s always freezing? A chilly-boni🥶
17. Why did the Zamboni driver get a haircut? Because he had frizzy ice!
18. What do you call a Zamboni that’s always making funny noises? A noisy-boni!
19. Why did the Zamboni driver get a parking ticket? Because he was parked in an ice-only zone!
20. What do you call a Zamboni that’s always getting into accidents? A crash-boni!