211+ Bible Puns to Make You Laugh Out Loud!

“Why did the disciples bring extra cloaks to the Sermon on the Mount? Because they knew it was going to be Matt-hew cold!”Welcome to the ultimate sanctuary of mirth and spirituality, where laughter and faith collide! Get ready to embark on a holy pilgrimage of puns that will leave you in stitches. From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible is an inexhaustible source of humor if you know where to look.In this blog, we’ll uncover the divine side of wordplay, exploring the many ways the Scriptures can tickle your funny bone. Each heading will take you on a different journey through biblical puns, from the uplifting to the downright miraculous.Prepare to be enlightened by the “Puns From the Good Book” and tested by the “Biblical Puns: The Ultimate Test of Your Faith and Humor.” We’ll sing along to the “Psalms of Puns” and spread the laughter far and wide with the “Gospel According to Puns.”Get ready to laugh at the “Thou Shalt Pun: Biblical Jokes for the Ages” and spread the word with a grin through “Apostolic Puns.” Discover the lessons in laughter from the “Parable Puns” and journey through the “Exodus Puns: A Journey of Puns and Promises.”Prepare to deliver laughter as the Word with “Sermonic Puns” and find your holy place for humorous devotion at the “Temple of Puns.” Foretell the future with a giggle through “Prophecy Puns” and witness divine interventions of laughter in “Miracle Puns.”Finally, let’s close with a heavenly punchline with “Amen-zing Puns.” So, grab your Bible, buckle up, and get ready for a side-splitting journey through the Word! May these puns bring you joy, laughter, and a renewed appreciation for the divine sense of humor.

Holy Smoke! Bible Puns That Will Make You Laugh

1. What did the first commandment say to the second commandment? “Thou shalt not steal my thunder!”
2. Why did the Israelites cross the Red Sea? To get to the other tide.
3. What kind of music do snails like? Shell-abration.
4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
5. Why was the Levite a good dancer? Because he knew all the right moves!
6. What do you call a Jewish cowboy? A Hebrew roper.
7. What do you call a rabbi who’s always late? A reform Jew!
8. What’s the difference between a cantor and a pizza? One delivers the bread, the other breads the liver!
9. Why did the rabbi cross the road? To get to the other temple. 🕎
10. What do you call a Jewish deli that sells only one item? A one-kosher shop!
11. What do you call a kosher fortune cookie? A prophecy pocket. 🥠
12. Why did the rabbi need a passport? To go on a Jew-ish trip!
13. What do you call a Jewish person who loves to run? A halachic sprinter. 🏃‍♂️
14. What do you call a Jewish person who’s always getting into trouble? A mensch in distress!
15. What do you call a Jewish person who’s always late? A yarmulke wearer! 🎩
16. What do you call a Jewish person who’s always cold? A brrr-mitzvah boy!
17. What do you call a Jewish person who’s always sweating? A mensch-pit!
18. What do you call a Jewish person who’s always making mistakes? A mensch-up!
19. What do you call a Jewish person who’s always getting lost? A mensch-wanderer! 🗺️
20. What do you call a Jewish person who’s always winning? A mensch-ter! 🏆

Puns From the Good Book: A Heavenly Dose of Laughter

1. What do you call a lion at church? A mane event!
2. Why did the Israelites cross the Red Sea? To get to the other tide. 😇
3. What did Adam say to his wife after they ate the forbidden fruit? “My belly is full of applesauce!”
4. How do you know that Noah was a carpenter? Because he built an ark!
5. What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi? One wears a collar and the other wears a yarmulke.
6. Why did the pastor get lost? Because he didn’t have a good sheepdog!
7. What do you call a choir that can’t sing? A holy mess!
8. Why did the choirmaster get fired? Because he kept beating the wrong time!
9. What do you call a lazy angel? A slacker seraph! 😇
10. What do you call a group of nuns who love to play basketball? The Holy Rollers!
11. Why did the church steeple get so tall? Because it wanted to reach heaven!
12. What do you call a priest who’s always late? Father Time!
13. What do you call a choir that can’t hold a tune? The Hallelujah Chorus!
14. Why did the choirmaster get arrested? Because he was caught conducting without a license!
15. What do you call a group of nuns who love to dance? The Holy Hoppers! 😇
16. What do you call a priest who’s always getting into trouble? Father McTrouble!
17. Why did the pastor get a new car? Because his old one was a holy roller!
18. What do you call a priest who’s always telling jokes? Father Pun-derful! 😇
19. Why did the choirmaster get a cold? Because he kept singing “Frosty the Snowman!”
20. What do you call a group of nuns who love to sing? The Holy Harmonies!

Biblical Puns: The Ultimate Test of Your Faith and Humor

1. What do you call a priest with a broken collar? A defrocked clergyman!
2. Why did the rabbi cross the road? To get to the other synagogue!
3. What do you call a Christian who’s always late? A procrastinator!
4. Why are Christians so good at basketball? Because they have a higher power!
5. What do you call a group of monks who are always arguing? A debatery!
6. Why did the nun join the circus? To become a holy roller!
7. What do you call a priest who’s always in a bad mood? A sourpuss!
8. Why did the pope get a new car? Because he needed a Holy Roller!
9. What do you call a Jewish man who’s always lost? A wandering Jew!
10. Why did the rabbi get a divorce? Because his wife was an altar-ego!
11. What do you call a Christian who’s always getting into trouble? A holy terror!
12. Why are Christians so good at math? Because they can multiply loaves and fishes!
13. What do you call a Christian who’s always running late? A procrastinator! 😇
14. Why did the priest cross the road? To get to the other cross-ing!
15. What do you call a group of Christians who are always singing? A choir!
16. Why did the rabbi get a new suit? Because he wanted to look holy! 🙄
17. What do you call a Christian who’s always making jokes? A pun-isher!
18. Why did the pastor get a new hat? Because he wanted to cover his bald spot!
19. What do you call a Christian who’s always getting into arguments? A debater!
20. Why did the nun join the FBI? Because she wanted to be a holy roller! 😇

Psalms of Puns: A Collection of Divine Wordplay

1. What instrument do you play at a pun contest? 🤷‍♀️ The pun-derdome!
2. What do you call a spiritual group of bees? 🐝 A hum-ble.
3. Why did the spiritual guru get lost? 🤔 He couldn’t find his ohm.
4. What do you say to a punny priest? Father forgive me, for I have sinned against humor.
5. Why did the holy water blush? 🙏 Because it saw the altar boy.
6. What do you call a nun with a ruler? 📏 A sister-in-charge.
7. How do priests keep their secrets? 🤐 They use confession apps.
8. Why did the choirboys run away? 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ Because they heard the choirmaster was going to beat them with a hymn-al.
9. What do you call a group of angels who love to travel? 🙏✈️ Heaven-tourists.
10. What do you get when you cross a cross and a circle? ✝️⭕️ A holy donut.
11. Why did the priest cross the road? ⛪️🐓 To get to the other side of the poultrygeist.
12. What do you call a demon with a sweet tooth? 👹🍫 A Hell-o-weenie.
13. Why did the angel get a parking ticket? 👮‍♀️👼🏻 He left his halo in the wrong spot.
14. What do you call a spiritual gathering where everyone is telling jokes? 🙏😂 A pun-tential.
15. Why did the devil take up knitting? 😈🧶 To make sinner-scarves.
16. What do you call a saint who always gets into trouble? 😇👮‍♀️ A holy delinquent.
17. Why did the priest open a bar? 🍺✝️ To serve holy spirits.
18. What do you call a demon who loves to play pranks? 👹👻 A scare-crow.
19. Why did the angel lose his job as a musician? 👼🏻🎷 Because he kept getting his halo caught in the strings.
20. What do you call a holy person who is always making jokes? 🙏🤣 A pun-ti-ficator.

The Gospel According to Puns: Spreading Laughter Far and Wide

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
3. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
4. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! 😂
5. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
8. Why are colds bad criminals? They’re very hard to catch!
9. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
10. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
11. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
12. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
14. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
15. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
16. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its neck!
17. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
18. Why did the bike fall over? Because it was two tired!
19. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
20. Why are colds bad criminals? They’re very hard to catch!

Thou Shalt Pun: Biblical Jokes for the Ages

1. What did the lost sheep say to the pastor? “I’ve gone astray!”
2. Why did the Israelites cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side of Egypt.
3. What do you call a prophet who’s always late? “Enoch at the eleventh hour.”
4. Why did the ark stop at Mt. Ararat? Because it couldn’t find parking.
5. What did Moses use to cut the Red Sea? A Macca-blade. 😆
6. Why was the temple so noisy? Because it was full of Amen.
7. What do you call a group of angels who sing out of tune? “The choir of hell.”
8. Why did the wise men bring gold, frankincense, and myrrh? Because they heard baby Jesus was a little incensed.
9. What do you call a demon who’s always being praised? “A Belze-bubble.”
10. Why did the devil get kicked out of heaven? Because he kept telling God jokes. 😈
11. What do you call a priest who’s always making puns? “A father of puns.”
12. Why did the Pharisees complain about Jesus’ parables? Because they were full of holes.
13. What do you call a group of disciples who love to sing? “The choir of the lambs.” 🐑
14. Why was the centurion so cross? Because Jesus was hanging on it.
15. What do you call a demon who’s always causing trouble? “The devil’s advocate.”
16. Why did the disciples get lost in the desert? Because they didn’t follow the manna-ger.
17. What do you call a group of angels who are always arguing? “The heavenly debate team.”
18. Why did the angel Gabriel get a promotion? Because he was a messenger with wings.
19. What do you call a demon who’s always making people sick? “The devil’s flu.” 🤒
20. Why did the priests put up a sign that said “No running in the church”? Because they wanted to prevent Eve-il.

Apostolic Puns: Spreading the Word with a Grin

1. What do you call a nun who’s always laughing? A holy roller! 😇
2. Why did the priest cross the road? To get to the other side… of the altar.⛪️
3. What’s the difference between a bishop and a chess piece? One moves men, the other moves pawns. ♟️
4. Why are church bells always so happy? Because they have a good ring to them! 🔔
5. What do you call a pastor who’s always late? A “procrastinator” of the gospel. ⏰
6. Why did the choir sing in the dark? Because they needed to find their notes! 🎵
7. What’s the holiest type of music? Hymns and praises! 🎶🙏
8. Why do nuns make such good dancers? Because they’re always in step with the Lord! 💃
9. Why did the church mouse retire? Because it was “pew”-ed! 🐭🏡
10. What do you call a priest who’s always getting into trouble? A “pun”-ishment! 😅
11. Why don’t churchgoers like playing cards? Because they’re afraid of getting a “deuce” from the devil! 😈🃏
12. What’s the best way to spread the word of God? With a “Holy”-copter! 🚁⛪️
13. Why did the choir director get lost? Because he didn’t know his “scale”! 🎼
14. What’s the difference between a pope and a football player? One wears a mitre, the other wears a helmet. 🏈👑
15. Why are church bells so good at telling jokes? Because they’re always “chime”-ing in! 🔔🤣
16. What do you call a pastor who’s always preaching about money? A “dollar”-evangelist! 💵✝️
17. Why did the bishop turn red? Because he was embarrassed about his “sac”-red vestments! 🟥
18. What’s the best way to get a churchgoer to stop snoring? Give them a “hymn”-ectomy! 😷🏥
19. Why did the church organ get a cold? Because it was “Bach”-ing too much! 🤧🎹
20. What do you call a priest who’s always making mistakes? A “sin”-namon roll! 🤭

Parable Puns: Lessons in Laughter From the Holy Writ

1. What did the wise man say when he tripped over a grape? “Parable-lie!”
2. Why did the Pharisee need a new robe? Because his old one was rent.
3. What did Jesus say to the crowd who wanted to follow him? “Let your light shine before men, and they will see your good figs.”
4. Why did the disciples laugh when Jesus turned water into wine? Because it was an unholy mess.
5. What did the mustard seed say to the mountain? “I’ll move you!”
6. Why did the donkey refuse to carry Jesus into Jerusalem? Because he didn’t want to be a beast of burden.
7. What did the Samaritan woman say to Jesus at the well? “Can’t you see I’m thirsty?”
8. Why did the apostles panic when they saw the empty tomb? Because it was the worst case of grave-robbing they had ever seen.
9. What did Jesus say to the disciples after Lazarus was resurrected? “Hey, it’s a wrap!”
10. Why didn’t the Romans believe in Jesus? Because he wasn’t very crucifix-ing.
11. What did the centurion say when Jesus healed his servant? “Behold, I am a man of few legions.”
12. Why didn’t the angels play poker? Because they couldn’t bluff- they had a holy aura.
13. What did the sheep say when Jesus came to shear it? “Baa-lieve it or not, it’s time for a trim.”
14. Why did the disciples call Peter “the rock”? Because he was always Peter-rolled.
15. What did the apostles do when they saw the risen Jesus? They spread the word like wildfire- it was an in-Jesus-tion.
16. Why did Jesus call his disciples “fishers of men”? Because he knew they would be hooked on his message.
17. What did the Holy Spirit say to the disciples? “Come, let me fill your Pente-costal.”
18. Why didn’t the apostles use credit cards? Because they preferred cash-ual giving.
19. What did the wise men say when they saw the star of Bethlehem? “Follow that star- it’s a Jupiter sign.”
20. Why did Jesus weep over Jerusalem? Because he saw the future and knew it would be a cross-section of humanity’s sins.

Exodus Puns: A Journey of Puns and Promises

1. The Israelites couldn’t help but groan when they were enslaved in Egypt – it was a real pain in the pharaoh!
2. Moses didn’t have a selfie stick, but he did have a tablet of stone to take pictures.
3. Why did the Pharaoh’s chariot break down? Because it was wheel of fortune!
4. Why did the Israelites cross the Red Sea? Because they wanted to get on the other tide! 😂
5. What do you call a Jewish cow? A moosician!
6. Why did Moses hide behind the bush? Because he couldn’t bear to watch the Israelites worship the golden calf!
7. What do you call a group of Jewish musicians? A klezmer band of brothers!
8. Why didn’t the Israelites pack a lunch before their journey out of Egypt? Because they were relying on manna from heaven!
9. What do you call a Jewish carpenter? Joseph, of Nazareth!
10. Why did the Israelites need a compass? To find their way through the desert of Sinai!
11. Why did the Israelites complain to Moses about the lack of food? Because they were hungry for more than just manna!
12. What do you call a Jewish cowboy? A sheriff on the range!
13. Why did the Israelites wear boots in the desert? To protect their Hebrew feet!
14. What do you call a Jewish basketball player? A slam dunker of the covenant!
15. Why did the Israelites build a wall around their campsite? To keep out the Philistines! 💪
16. What do you call a Jewish beekeeper? A honey of a man!
17. Why did the Israelites dance when they heard the sound of the ram’s horn? Because they were celebrating the new moon!
18. What do you call a Jewish baseball player? A hitter with a kosher swing!
19. Why did the Israelites need a doctor? To heal their boils and plagues!
20. What do you call a Jewish astronaut? A man with his head in the stars! 🚀

Sermonic Puns: Delivering Laughter as the Word

1. What do you call a short sermon? A mini-ministry.
2. Why did the pastor cross the road? To get to the other side of the pew.
3. What do you call a preacher who loves coffee? A lat-té believer.
4. What’s a pastor’s favorite game? Hymns and seek.
5. What do you call a pastor who’s always late? A behind-the-times shepherd.
6. What do you get when you mix a sermon and a pun? Holy humor!
7. What’s a pastor’s favorite restaurant? Olive Garden, because it’s where they get their sermon oil.
8. Why did the pastor get a new Bible? Because his old one was holy with age.
9. What do you call a pastor who’s always on the go? A mobile minister.
10. What’s a pastor’s favorite animal? A lamb, because it’s a good listener.
11. What do you call a pastor who loves to sing? A hymn-sational preacher.
12. What’s a pastor’s favorite emoji? 🙏 ✝️ 😇
13. What do you call a pastor who’s good at math? A calculating clergyman.
14. What’s a pastor’s favorite way to travel? By faith plane.
15. What do you call a pastor who’s always in trouble? A hot potato preacher.
16. What’s a pastor’s favorite book? The “Bible-ography.”
17. Why did the pastor get a GPS? To find his way to the sermon.
18. What do you call a pastor who’s always on time? A punctual preacher.
19. What’s a pastor’s favorite kind of joke? A holy-wood joke.
20. Why did the pastor get a new suit? Because his old one was holy-er than thou.

Temple of Puns: A Holy Place for Humorous Devotion

1. Why did the Roman build a temple to puns? Because he believed in deity.
2. What do you call a holy jester? A pun-tifficator.
3. Why are puns so devout? Because they believe in the Holy See (sea).
4. What’s the difference between a priest and a punster? One gives sermons, the other gives “pun”mons.
5. Why did the sinner get kicked out of the Temple of Puns? Because he was cast in stone.
6. What do you call a group of puns that pray together? A pun-gregation.
7. Why did the punster get arrested? Because he was caught making “holy” errors.
8. What do you get when you cross a pun with a prayer? A “pun”derful blessing.
9. Why did the punning priest get promoted? Because he was “heaven”-ly good.
10. What’s the punster’s favorite part of the Bible? The “pun”tential passages.
11. Why did the statue of the punster get vandalized? Because it was “pun”der construction.
12. What do you call a pun that’s so bad it’s good? A “pun”-ishment.
13. Why was the nun kicked out of the Temple of Puns? Because she made a “pun”ishable offense.
14. What’s the difference between a punster and a theologian? One makes you laugh, the other makes you think.
15. Why did the atheist visit the Temple of Puns? To “pun”dermine the truth.
16. What’s the punster’s favorite commandment? “Thou shalt not bore thy neighbor with bad puns.”
17. Why was the punster’s sermon so short? Because he wanted to “pun”ish his listeners.
18. What do you call a punster who’s always getting into trouble? A “pun”-ishment seeker.
19. Why did the rabbi ban puns from the synagogue? Because he couldn’t “pun”d on it.
20. What’s the punster’s favorite way to pray? With a “pun”-invoking prayer.

Prophecy Puns: Foretelling the Future with a Giggle

1. What does a psychic octopus say? “I predict eight!”
2. What do you call a fortune teller who’s always right? A palm pilot!
3. Why did the clairvoyant get upset? Because she saw trouble ahead!
4. What do you get when you cross a psychic and a sheep? A fleeceable future! 🔮
5. How does a fortune teller fix a flat tire? With fore-see-ability!
6. What do you call a psychic who’s always wrong? A “miss”-fortune teller.
7. Why did the future hold the psychic’s hand? To see what tomorrow had in store!
8. What do you call a fortune teller who gives bad predictions? A prophet of doom.
9. Why did the psychic give up tarot reading? Because she kept drawing blanks!
10. What does a psychic do when they’re bored? They read tea leaves!
11. Why are psychics so good at reading minds? Because they’re always one step ahead!
12. What do you call a psychic who’s always late? A slow medium.
13. Why don’t psychics like spiders? Because they’re too web-footed! 🕷️
14. What do you call a psychic who’s always on vacation? A fortune seeker!
15. Why did the psychic get lost? Because she was following her intuition!
16. What do you get when you cross a psychic and a musician? A guitar-ist who can predict your future! 🎸
17. Why did the psychic go to the doctor? Because she had a headache from all the foretelling!
18. What do you call a psychic who’s always surrounded by cats? A purr-dictator! 🐈‍⬛
19. Why did the psychic get a speeding ticket? Because she was driving too fast into the future! 🚔
20. What do you call a psychic who wins the lottery? A fortune-teller! 💰

Miracle Puns: Divine Interventions of Laughter

• What do you call a miracle that’s also a joke? A pun-derful intervention!
• Why did the angel need a Band-Aid? Because he fell from heaven and scraped his wing! 🤣
• Where do broken angels go? To the halo-spital!
• What do you call a priest who’s always making puns? A holy-roller!
• Why did the miracle win an award? Because it was a standing ovation!
• What do you call a miracle that’s really good? A blessing in disguise!
• Why did the angel get lost? Because he didn’t have a halo-navigation system!
• What do you call a miracle that’s also a disaster? A divine comedy!
• Why did the miracle need a lawyer? Because it was accused of a heavenly crime! 😇
• What do you call a miracle that’s full of hot air? A holy ghost!

Amen-zing Puns: Closing with a Heavenly Punchline

1. What do you call a holy cow that’s always getting into trouble? A sacred calf!
2. Why did the priest cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
3. What do you call a group of nuns playing poker? A royal flush! 😇
4. Why did the choir refuse to sing the hymn “Amazing Grace”? Because it was too high pitched!
5. What do you call a priest who’s always losing his keys? A Benedict unlock!
6. Why did the rabbi go to the hardware store? To get some new nails for his ark!
7. What do you call a priest who’s really bad at giving speeches? A homilycidal maniac!
8. What do you call a nun who’s always getting into trouble? Sister Sinful!
9. Why did the bishop decide to get a tattoo? So he could have a permanent blessing!
10. What do you call a priest who’s always telling jokes? A stand-up collar!
11. Why did the deacon get lost in the grocery store? He couldn’t find the holy aisle!
12. What do you call a priest who’s always late for mass? A fashionably late cleric! 😇
13. Why did the bishop refuse to wear sandals? Because he didn’t want to show off his holy toes!
14. What do you call a priest who’s always getting into arguments? A contentious canon!
15. Why did the choir refuse to sing “Silent Night”? Because they were afraid of waking up the baby Jesus! 🎄
16. What do you call a priest who’s always getting lost? A wandering padre!
17. Why did the rabbi get a new car? So he could have a mobile ark!
18. What do you call a priest who’s always trying to make people laugh? A holy comedian!
19. Why did the nun quit her job as a crossing guard? Because she kept getting into holy traffic jams!
20. What do you call a priest who’s always getting into trouble? A bad habit! 😇