115+ Airport Puns That Will Make Your Flight Delay Worthwhile!

Welcome aboard, fellow travelers! Are you ready to embark on a hilarious journey through the world of airport puns? Prepare to fasten your seatbelts and brace yourself for a flight of laughter that will make your next trip to the airport a memorable one.In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore every corner of the airport, from the bustling check-in counters to the serene arrival lounges. Along the way, we’ll encounter a cast of characters, from the witty flight attendants to the ever-patient baggage handlers. And of course, we’ll have a non-stop supply of puns that will leave you in stitches.Whether you’re an experienced globetrotter or a first-time flyer, I promise you’ll find plenty of humor to tickle your funny bone. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the puns!And without further ado, let me hand you your boarding pass for a flight filled with laughter. It’s going to be a smooth and enjoyable ride, guaranteed to leave you with a smile on your face and a few new jokes to share with your fellow passengers.

Prepare for Takeoff with These Punny Puns

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle smile? Because it was two tired!
3. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
4. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
5. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! ✈️
7. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
8. Why did the cow cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind as a batfish!
10. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its back!
11. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
12. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it was full of problems! 📚
13. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
14. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
15. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
16. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
17. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
18. Why did the cow cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind as a batfish!
20. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its back! 💻

Terminal Velocity: Jokes That Will Make You Fly

1. What do you call a skydiver with no parachute? 👋 A terminal patient.
2. Why did the mathematician have a fear of heights? 😨 Because he was worried about the terminal velocity.
3. What’s the difference between a skydiver and a base jumper? 🪂 One jumps off planes, and the other jumps off bridges. But both reach the ground with terminal velocity.
4. Why couldn’t the skydiver open his parachute? 🤔 Because he was all tied up in knots.
5. What’s the best way to make a small fortune in skydiving? 🤑 Start with a large fortune.
6. Why did the skydiver get lost? 🗺️ Because he took a wrong turn at the terminal.
7. What do you call a skydiver who always lands on his feet? 👣 A terminal expert.
8. Why are skydivers so good at math? 🧮 Because they know how to calculate their terminal velocity.
9. What do you call a skydiver who retires? 👴 A ground pounder.
10. Why did the skydiver quit his job? 😂 Because he was tired of the daily grind.
11. What do you call a skydiver who jumps out of a perfectly good airplane? 🤪 A terminal daredevil.
12. Why are skydivers always so happy? 😊 Because they’re free falling.
13. What’s the best thing about skydiving? 🪂 The view.
14. What’s the worst thing about skydiving? 🛬 The landing.
15. What do you call a skydiver who can’t control their spin? 😵 A terminal tornado.
16. Why did the skydiver bring a camera to work? 📸 To take terminal snaps.
17. What do you call a skydiver who’s always late? 🐌 A terminal procrastinator.
18. Why did the skydiver cross the road? 🐔 To get to the other glide.
19. What’s the difference between a skydiver and a BASE jumper? 🪂 One jumps from planes, and the other jumps from buildings. But both reach the ground with terminal force.
20. What do you call a skydiver who’s always getting into trouble? 🤔 A terminal offender.

Baggage Claim: Jokes That Will Leave You with Lots of Luggage

1. What do you call a heavy joke? ✈️ A tailwind!
2. Why did the luggage go on a diet? For a waist-line reduction!
3. What do you call a suitcase that’s always getting into trouble? 👮‍♂️ A bag of tricks!
4. Why did the suitcase need a rest? It had too much baggage!
5. What’s another name for a luggage thief? ✈️ A baggage bandit!
6. Why did the suitcase take a nap? It was feeling checked out!
7. What do you call a suitcase that’s always losing its keys? 🔑 A clueless case!
8. Why did the luggage get a speeding ticket? It was going over the speed limit! 🚓
9. What do you call a suitcase that’s always getting into fights? 🥊 A punchline!
10. Why did the suitcase get lost? It couldn’t find its way around the terminal! 🗺️
11. What do you call a suitcase that’s always complaining? 🗣️ A whiny trunk!
12. Why did the suitcase get a promotion? It was a hard worker! 💼
13. What do you call a suitcase that’s always falling apart? 💔 A broken heart!
14. Why did the suitcase call 911? It was being wheel-jacked! 🚔
15. What do you call a suitcase that’s always getting into hot water? 🛁 A steaming trunk!
16. Why did the suitcase get a sunburn? It was on vacation in a trop-suit! 🌴
17. What do you call a suitcase that’s always making noise? 🔊 A blabber-bag!
18. Why did the suitcase get a makeover? It wanted to look its best for its trip! 💅
19. What do you call a suitcase that’s always getting lost? 🗺️ A roaming gnome!
20. Why did the suitcase get a tattoo? It wanted to show off its travels! 🌎

Boarding Pass: Ready for a Flight of Laughs

• Hold on tight, we’re about to take off on a hilarious journey!
• Buckle up and prepare for a turbulent ride of laughter.
• fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a takeoff into a world of wordplay.
• Beware of turbulence, caused by uncontrollable giggles!
• Please turn off all electronic devices, including your funny bones.
• Cabin crew, prepare for landing on the runway of laughter.
• Boarding complete, now boarding the flight of puns.
• Expect delays due to incoming jokes.
• Brace yourself for altitude sickness caused by high levels of humor.
• Please refrain from using overhead puns during takeoff. ✈️

Mile-High Humor: Jokes That Will Soar to New Heights

1. What do you call a bird that can fly really high? A soaring humorist!
2. Why did the pilot wear sunglasses? Because he couldn’t stop looking up! ✈️
3. What do you call a plane that’s always late? A procrastin-air!
4. Why did the airplane get a speeding ticket? Because it was going over the speed limit!
5. What do you call a pilot who loves to sing? A flight-nightingale!
6. What do you call a plane that never lands? A never-ending flight!
7. What do you call a pilot who’s always lost? A navi-gator! 🗺️
8. Why did the airplane get a cold? Because it flew through a cloud of germs!
9. What do you call a plane that’s always on time? A time-flyer!
10. Why did the airplane have to go on a diet? Because it was overweight!
11. What do you call a plane that’s always getting into trouble? A trouble-maker!
12. Why did the airplane wear a parachute? Just in case it had a rough landing! 🪂
13. What do you call a plane that’s always complaining? A whiner-plane!
14. Why did the airplane get a new paint job? Because it was looking a little plane!
15. What do you call a plane that’s always getting lost? A lost-flyer!
16. Why did the airplane go to the doctor? Because it had a wing problem!
17. What do you call a plane that’s always breaking down? A lemon-plane! 🍋
18. Why did the airplane get a sunburn? Because it flew too close to the sun!
19. What do you call a plane that’s always getting into accidents? A crash-course!
20. Why did the airplane get a speeding ticket? Because it was going too fast!

Jet Set Jokes: Fueling Your Funny Bone

1. Why did the jet lag get lost? Because it couldn’t find its terminal.
2. What do you call a pilot wearing a t-shirt? A flyboy. ✈️
3. Why did the flight attendant tell the passengers to fasten their seatbelts? Because there was going to be a turbulance ahead.
4. What do you call a plane that’s always going down? A descent plane.
5. Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other runway.
6. What do you call a plane that’s always late? A procrastinating plane. ⏰
7. Why did the plane get a speeding ticket? Because it was flying too fast.
8. What do you call a plane that’s always taking off? A frequent flyer.
9. Why did the pilot get arrested? Because he was flying under the influence of gravity. 👮‍♂️
10. What do you call a plane that’s always crashing? A crash course.

Layover Laughs: Jokes That Will Make Time Fly

1. What do you call a bored shellfish? A bivalve with no motive.
2. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
3. Why are fish so easy to weigh? They have their own scales.
4. What did the clock say to the wall? “It’s time to face the music.”
5. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
6. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it was full of problems.
7. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. 🐮
8. How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
9. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
11. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
12. Why did the computer go to the chiropractor? It had a byte in its back.
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
14. Why did the teddy bear get arrested? Stuffing a bunny.
15. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. 🐮
16. How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw.
17. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
18. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
19. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
20. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.

Flight Attendant Antics: Jokes That Will Make You Buckle Up

1. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always getting into trouble? A cabin crew-cial offender.
2. Why did the flight attendant cross the road? To get to the other side of the aisle. 🛒
3. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always late? A delayed departure. 🛫
4. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always drunk? A wine-ing stewardess. 🍷
5. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always singing? A vocal stewardess. 🎵
6. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always complaining? A cabin crew-sader.
7. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always getting lost? A lost and found steward. 🔦
8. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always making jokes? A pun-dit. ✈️
9. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always sleeping? A snoozy stewardess. 😴
10. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always eating? A snack-olian. 🍿
11. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always late? A behind-the-scenes stewardess. ⌛
12. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always forgetting things? A forgetful stewardess. 🤯
13. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always getting into trouble? A troubled stewardess. 💥
14. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always talking? A gabby stewardess. 🦜
15. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always complaining? A whining stewardess. 🗣️
16. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always late? A dawdling stewardess. 🐌
17. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always getting lost? A directionless stewardess. 🧭
18. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always making jokes? A humorous stewardess. 😂
19. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always sleeping? A snoozing stewardess. 😴
20. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always eating? A hungry stewardess. 🤤

Turbulent Times: Jokes That Will Keep You Laughing Through the Storms

1. What do you call a storm that’s always late? A “hurri-cane”
2. Why don’t storms ever run out of juice? Because they’re always “charged”!
3. What do you call a storm that’s really good at math? A “calculus-storm”
4. What do you call a storm that’s always breaking things? A “tornado-pede”
5. Why are storms so good at math? Because they know how to “solve” problems!
6. What do you call a storm that’s always on time? A “punctual-storm”
7. Why did the storm get arrested? Because it was caught “whipping” up a frenzy!
8. What do you call a storm that’s really good at bowling? A “strike-storm”
9. Why do storms always wear hats? Because they don’t want to get “blown” away!
10. What do you call a storm that’s really good at cooking? A “simmer-storm”
11. 🌩️ What do you call a storm that’s really good at playing the guitar? A “strum-storm”
12. Why did the storm get lost? Because it couldn’t find its “weather”
13. What do you call a storm that’s really good at singing? A “melodic-storm”
14. Why do storms always wear sunglasses? Because they’re always “bright” and “sunny”!
15. What do you call a storm that’s really good at dancing? A “groovin’-storm”
16. Why did the storm get arrested? Because it was caught “disturbing” the peace!
17. What do you call a storm that’s really good at playing chess? A “checkmate-storm”
18. Why are storms so good at math? Because they know how to “calculate” their moves!
19. What do you call a storm that’s really good at playing basketball? A “swish-storm”
20. Why do storms always wear headphones? Because they don’t want to hear the “thunder”

Pilot Puns: Jokes That Will Take You on a Wild Ride

1. What do you call a pilot who’s always taking risks? A high-flyer.
2. Why don’t pilots like to take the elevator? Because it’s not their plane.
3. What do you call a pilot who’s always late? Behind the eight ball.
4. Why did the pilot cross the road? To get to the other glide. ✈️
5. What do you call a plane that’s always getting lost? A flightmare.
6. Why are pilots so good at telling jokes? Because they have a high pun-derstanding.
7. What do you call a pilot who’s always getting into trouble? A wingnut.
8. Why did the pilot get kicked out of the bar? Because he was always making flaps.
9. What do you call a pilot who’s always breaking the rules? A maverick.
10. Why did the pilot get a speeding ticket? Because he was going to fast-ten his seatbelt.
11. What do you call a pilot who’s always taking naps? A sleepy pilot.
12. Why did the pilot get a sunburn? Because he forgot his shades. 😎
13. What do you call a pilot who’s always making mistakes? A crash-test dummy.
14. Why did the pilot start a band? Because he wanted to be in the cockpit.
15. What do you call a pilot who’s always getting lost? A wing-ding.
16. Why did the pilot get a new map? Because he lost the old one.
17. What do you call a pilot who’s always getting into arguments? A fly-by-night operator.
18. Why did the pilot get a traffic ticket? Because he was speeding in an airspace zone.
19. What do you call a pilot who’s always getting sick? A queasy flyer.
20. Why did the pilot get a divorce? Because his wife said he was always taking her for granted.

Frequent Flier Frolics: Jokes That Will Make You a Regular at the Airport

1. What do you call a frequent flier who always gets lost at the airport? Depart-mented
2. Why did the pilot turn around and fly the other way? He heard there was a turbulence ahead! ✈️
3. What do you call a pilot who’s always late? A dilly-dallier
4. What do you call a flight attendant with a bad attitude? A cabin crewel
5. Why don’t they serve steak on airplanes? Because it would be a rare medium
6. What do you call a flight delayed due to a thunderstorm? A storm brew
7. Why did the passenger get lost in the airport? Because he took a wrong terminal
8. What do you call a pilot who’s always complaining? A whiner
9. Why did the plane get a speeding ticket? Because it was going too fast 💨
10. What do you call a pilot who’s always getting into trouble? A crash-dummy
11. Why did the passenger get arrested at the airport? Because he was carrying a lethal weapon: a book of bad puns!
12. What do you call a pilot who’s always making mistakes? A blunder-bird
13. Why did the plane have to land twice? Because the first landing was a mis-take
14. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always getting lost? A navigational nightmare
15. Why did the passenger get kicked off the plane? Because he was too high-strung
16. What do you call a pilot who’s always taking risks? A daredevil
17. Why did the plane get a flat tire? Because it flew over a runway
18. What do you call a pilot who’s always getting into arguments? A squawk box
19. Why did the plane have to turn around and land? Because it forgot its passport
20. What do you call a flight attendant who’s always gossiping? A chatterbox

Arrival Lounge Laughs: Jokes That Will Greet You with a Smile

1. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always empty? A ghost lounge 👻
2. Why are arrival lounges so noisy? Because everyone’s talking about their flight landings!
3. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s full of musicians? A lounge-uitar
4. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always dark? A black hole lounge
5. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always cold? A freezer lounge ❄️
6. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always crowded? A sardine lounge
7. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always empty? A deserted lounge
8. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always busy? A packed lounge
9. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of children? A kindergarten lounge
10. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of animals? A zoo lounge 🐾
11. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of doctors? A hospital lounge
12. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of lawyers? A courtroom lounge
13. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of politicians? A capitol lounge
14. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of celebrities? A paparazzi lounge📸
15. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of athletes? A locker room lounge
16. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of tourists? A souvenir shop lounge
17. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of pets? A vet lounge 🐕‍🦺
18. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of food? A buffet lounge 🤤
19. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of music? A concert lounge
20. What do you call an arrival lounge that’s always full of sunshine? A solarium

Ground Control to Comedy: Jokes That Will Keep You on Course

1. What do you call a spaceman with a hangnail? A mete-sore. 🚀
2. Why did the astronaut lose his job? Because he was a space cadet. 🤦‍♂️
3. What do you get when you cross a plane and a spaceship? A UFO. 🛸
4. Why did the alien get a job at the coffee shop? To serve “out of this world” coffee. ☕️👽
5. What do you call a rocket scientist with a goldfish? An astrophysicist. 🧐🐠
6. Why did the moon go to the chiropractor? To get its craters adjusted. 🌝
7. What do you call a spaceship that’s always breaking down? A junk satellite. 🛰️🔧
8. Why did the UFO get a ticket? For exceeding the speed of light. 🚨🛸
9. What do you call a Martian who’s always late? A solar-powered slowpoke. 🐢☀️
10. Why did the astronaut bring an umbrella to the launch pad? In case of an unexpected rain. ☂️🚀
11. What do you get when you mix a rocket and a car? A “space shuttlebuggy.” 🚗🚀
12. Why did the astronaut take two chairs to the moon? To have a “seat cushion.” 💺💺
13. What did the starship say when it crashed into the moon? “I’ll be back… with a vengeance!” 💥🌙
14. Why did the astronaut get lost in space? Because he didn’t have a planetorium. 🗺️🌌
15. What do you call an alien with a big head and no body? A space cadet. 🪐🛸
16. Why did the astronaut bring a magnifying glass to Jupiter? To see the bigger picture. 🔍🔭
17. What do you call a rocket that’s always on the wrong track? A “miss-sile.” 🎯🚀
18. Why did the alien go to the dentist? To get his a “space-checkup.” 👽🦷
19. What do you call a spaceship that can’t land? A flying saucer that’s always going in “circles.” ⭕️🛸
20. Why did the astronaut take a bath in orange soda? To get “tangy” after a long spacewalk. 🛁🍊

Inflight Entertainment: Jokes That Will Make Your Flight a Hoot

1. What do you call a comedian on a plane? An in-flight entertainer!
2. Why did the pilot take two pairs of spare glasses? In case he lost one!
3. What’s the difference between a pilot and a co-pilot? About 20 years of experience! ✈️
4. How do you know when a flight attendant is having a bad day? They serve the peanuts first!
5. What do you get when you cross a tomato with a flight attendant? A first-class salad!
6. Why did the coffee maker get banned from the cockpit? Because it kept making turbulence! ☕️
7. What’s the best way to avoid turbulence? Sit next to a pilot who’s afraid of heights!
8. Why don’t planes ever get lost? Because they have maps and know where to turn!
9. What do you call a plane that’s always late? The procrastination station!
10. Why did the stewardess blush? Because she saw the passenger’s boarding pass! 🙈
11. What do you call a pilot who can’t fly straight? A crooked aviator!
12. What do you call a plane that’s always getting into trouble? A grounded flyer!
13. Why did the pilot wear sunglasses during the whole flight? To avoid getting airborne! 😎
14. What do you get when you cross a pilot with a comedian? A pilot with a sense of humor!
15. Why did the plane have to go on a diet? Because it was overweight!
16. What’s the difference between a bird and a plane? About 100 miles per hour!
17. Why did the passenger bring a ladder onto the plane? To reach higher altitudes!
18. What do you call a plane that’s always trying to impress the other planes? A show-off!
19. Why did the pilot take a road map on the flight? In case he got lost in the airspace!
20. What do you call a plane that’s always flying off course? A detour flight! 🗺️