146+ Civil War Puns That Will Split Your Sides at Gettysburg!

Step into a world of witty wordplay and historical hilarity with our collection of Civil War puns! Prepare to be besieged by a barrage of puns so sharp, they’d make General Sherman’s march through Georgia seem like a leisurely stroll.From the Rebellious Confederacy to the Union’s steadfast Yankees, no side is spared in this pun-derful battle of words. We’ll explore the strategic genius of Stonewall Jackson’s pun-derings and uncover the hidden humor of Robert E. Lee’s wry wit.Like a well-aimed cannonball, these puns will hit you right in the funny bone. Dive into the Emancipation Proclamation and witness laughter being given a second chance. Stand alongside Abraham Lincoln as he delivers puns so honest, they’d make a politician blush.Join us on this hilarious journey through time as we uncover the lighter side of the Civil War. Let the puns fly as we explore the battlefield and the pun-field, where laughter echoes louder than any musket shot. Prepare yourself for a pun-tastic adventure that will leave you in stitches!

The Confederacy: Losing the War… and Their Marbles

1. What did the Confederate general say when he lost his troops? “I’ve been disband-ed!”
2. Why did the Confederate army get lost? Because they followed the wrong general, Lee!
3. What do you call a Confederate soldier who can’t march? A draft dodger!
4. Why did the Confederacy surrender? Because they were out of statues! 🏕️
5. What did the Union general say to the Confederate general? “Your army is so disorganized, it looks like a Union picnic!”
6. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting into trouble? A rebel without a clue!
7. Why didn’t the Confederate army have any cannonballs? Because they were out of marbles! 🔮
8. What did the Confederate soldier say when he was captured by the Union? “I’m not a prisoner, I’m just on a forced vacation!”
9. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always running away? A retreat specialist!
10. Why did the Confederate army lose the Battle of Gettysburg? Because they didn’t have a good plan-tation!
11. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always cold? A rebel without a fleece! 🧥
12. Why did the Confederate army have so many blacksmiths? Because they were always losing their shoes! 👟
13. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting hurt? A casualty of war.
14. Why did the Confederate army lose the Battle of Vicksburg? Because the Union army had bigger guns! 🔫
15. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always losing his way? A general miss-direction!
16. Why did the Confederate army lose the Battle of Atlanta? Because they were outflanked by the Union army!
17. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting into fights? A rebel with a cause.
18. Why did the Confederate army lose the Battle of Appomattox Court House? Because they were outnumbered and outgunned!
19. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always complaining? A rebel without a clue!
20. Why did the Confederate army lose the Civil War? Because the Union army had more manpower, supplies, and support!

Yankees and Rebels: A Civil Pun

• What do you call a Yankee who fought for the South? A Confederate wanna-bee.
• Why did the Yankee cross the Mason-Dixon Line? To get to the other “Union.”
• What’s the difference between a Yankee and a Rebel? About 300 miles. 😂
• Why did the Yankees keep losing at Gettysburg? Because they couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn.
• What do you call a Yankee who surrenders? A “Blue” Believer.
• Why were the Yankees so good at marching? Because they had a lot of “colonels.”
• What’s the difference between a Confederate and a Yankee? One fought for his freedom, and the other fought for his slaves.
• Why did the Yankee general refuse to attack the Confederate fort? Because he didn’t want to “Fort” it.
• What do you call a Yankee who joined the Confederacy? A “copperhead.”
• Why did the Yankee soldiers always wear blue uniforms? Because it was the only color they could keep clean while hiding in the bushes.
• What’s the difference between a Yankee and a Rebel? A Yankee would rather eat a Yankee Doodle than a Rebel Yell.
• Why did the Yankee soldiers always fight so hard? Because they wanted to prove they were as good as the rebels.
• What do you call a Yankee who is afraid of the South? A “Bluebonnet.”
• Why did the Yankees keep losing at Vicksburg? Because they were too busy playing “Hurrah, boys, hurrah.”
• What’s the difference between a Yankee and a Confederate? The Yankee has a “bad accent” and the Confederate has a “gone with the wind” accent.
• Why did the Yankees keep chasing the Confederates? Because they wanted to make sure they didn’t “lose” them.
• What do you call a Yankee who is always bragging about his victories? A “brag-a-doodle.”
• Why did the Yankee general retreat after the battle? Because he didn’t want to be “shot in the back.”
• What do you call a Yankee who is always complaining? A “whinin’-rebel.”

General Sherman: Burning Bright with Bad Jokes

1. What do you call a war criminal who loves to tell jokes? General Hilarity.
2. Why did General Sherman’s horse refuse to cross the bridge? Because it was too chicken. 😂
3. What’s the difference between General Sherman and a barbecue? One burns the South, the other burns the ribs.
4. Why did General Sherman invade Georgia? Because he wanted to give them a peach of his mind.
5. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always making puns? A Sharmaniac.
6. What’s General Sherman’s favorite type of music? 🔥🔥🔥 March Madness.
7. Why did General Sherman prefer whiskey over wine? Because it was more “rebel”lious.
8. What’s the difference between General Sherman and a firecracker? One burns down Atlanta, the other goes off with a bang.
9. Why didn’t General Sherman invade Texas? Because he didn’t want to get Lone Starved.
10. What’s General Sherman’s favorite type of dance? The Sherman Shuffle.
11. Why did General Sherman cross the road? 🔥🔥🔥 To burn down the other side.
12. What’s the difference between General Sherman and a bad cook? One burns down houses, the other burns dinner.
13. Why did General Sherman have to take a sick day? Because he was feeling a little “Sherman indisposed.”
14. What’s General Sherman’s favorite type of tree? A “Sherman oak.”
15. Why did General Sherman get a divorce? Because his wife said he was too “incendiary.”
16. What’s the difference between General Sherman and a Christmas tree? One burns bright, the other lights up the season.
17. Why did General Sherman quit his job as a firefighter? Because he kept getting burned.
18. What do you call a General Sherman who’s always getting into trouble? A “fire hazard.”
19. Why did General Sherman’s dog get lost? Because it kept “running Sherman.”
20. What’s the difference between General Sherman and a volcano? One burns down cities, the other erupts with lava.

The Emancipation Proclamation: Giving Laughter a Second Chance

1. What do you call a joke that gives laughter a second chance? A pun-derstanding!
2. Why was the Emancipation Proclamation signed in pen? Because it freed the ink for all! 😂
3. What’s the difference between a pun and a proclamation? One puns, the other pro-claims!
4. Why did the pun hate the Emancipation Proclamation? Because it thought it was a free-dumb!
5. What do you get when you combine puns and the Declaration of Independence? The Preamble to Laughter!
6. Why did the Confederate States of America hate puns? Because they were a-pun-ion!
7. What do you call a pun that’s so bad, it should be pardoned? A pun-ishment!
8. Why did the pun cross the road? To get to the punch-line!
9. What’s the Emancipation Proclamation’s favorite pun? “You’re in, my friend!”
10. What do you call a pun that’s so good, it’s ahistorical? A pun-derestimate!
11. Why did the pun get a promotion? Because it was a-pun-believable worker!
12. What do you call a pun that’s so bad, it’s almost a war crime? A pun-ishment!
13. Why did the pun get a divorce? Because their humor was too pun-ishing!
14. What do you call a pun that’s so good, it’s transcendental? A pun-derstanding!
15. Why did the pun get a standing ovation? Because it was a-pun-tastic performance!
16. What do you call a pun that’s so bad, it’s a crime? A pun-ishment!
17. Why did the pun get a speeding ticket? Because it was going too fast for the pun!
18. What do you call a pun that’s so bad, it’s almost a sin? A pun-ishment!
19. Why did the pun get lost? Because it was following its punch-line!
20. What do you call a pun that’s so bad, it’s not even worth repeating? A pun-ishment!

Abraham Lincoln: Honest About His Puns

1. What did the penny say to Abraham Lincoln? “In God we trust, but you can trust me in your pocket!”
2. Why did Abraham Lincoln cross the road? To get to the other “four score and seven years ago.”
3. What was Abraham Lincoln’s favorite type of music? “Emancipation Blues.” 🍗
4. Why did Abraham Lincoln need such a long hat? To cover up his tall tales!
5. What do you call a lazy Lincoln? A log splitter!
6. Why was Abraham Lincoln a great politician? Because he was always giving his two cents!
7. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was asked to give a speech? “I Gettysburg address you with an open heart.”
8. Why did Abraham Lincoln love going to the theater? Because it was “A Night at the Opera…tion room!”
9. What was Abraham Lincoln’s favorite food? “The Gettysburg Address…it’s very filling!”
10. Why did Abraham Lincoln keep a candle on his desk? Because he didn’t want his words to be in the dark! 🕯️
11. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was asked if he knew the way to the library? “I have a book on that!”
12. Why did Abraham Lincoln never get lost? Because he always knew the right way to go! 🧭
13. What was Abraham Lincoln’s favorite type of exercise? “Splitting logs!”
14. Why didn’t Abraham Lincoln want to go to the beach? Because he didn’t like getting “sand in his pants!”
15. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was asked if he wanted to go to the dentist? “I have a toothache for the better!”
16. Why did Abraham Lincoln keep a pet parrot? Because he liked to have a bird in the hand!
17. What was Abraham Lincoln’s favorite board game? “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness!” 🎲
18. Why did Abraham Lincoln start growing a beard? Because he wanted to “make a statement!” 🧔‍♂️
19. What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was asked to give a eulogy? “I’m sorry, but I’m not in the mood to speak now; I’m still mourning.” 🪦
20. Why did Abraham Lincoln never wear glasses? Because he had “Perfect Union!” 💍

Stonewall Jackson: A Pun-derful Strategist

1. Stonewall Jackson’s puns were so sharp, they could slice through a boulder.
2. He was a “stone cold” punner, with a heart made of granite.
3. His jokes were so “fortified,” they could withstand a siege.
4. He had a “cannonball” of puns, ready to fire at any moment.
5. His humor was as “unyielding” as the Confederate army.
6. He was a “rock” star of puns, leaving audiences in stitches.
7. He had a “pun”-derful knack for turning even the bleakest situations into laughter.
8. His puns were as “solid” as the walls of Richmond. 🌱
9. He could “corner” his opponents with his wit, leaving them “walled” in with laughter.
10. He was a “pun”-isher who knew how to inflict pain with laughter.
11. His jokes were a “bombardment” of hilarity, leaving his audience “shellshocked.”
12. He had a “suture” sense of humor, stitching together puns that left his audience in stiches.
13. He was a “medical” marvel of puns, delivering laughter like a “prescription.” 💊
14. His jokes were a “hospitality” to humor, welcoming laughter into every room.
15. He was a “nurse” of puns, caring for his audience’s funny bones.
16. His jokes were a “spinal” tap of laughter, making his audience feel “vertebrae” happy.
17. He was a “heart” surgeon of puns, repairing laughter with every joke.
18. His puns were an “anesthetic” for boredom, numbing the pain of a dull moment.
19. He was a “dental” hygienist of puns, removing the plaque of seriousness from his audience’s faces.
20. He was a “doctor” of puns, diagnosing his audience with laughter. 👨‍⚕️

Robert E. Lee: A Confederate with a Great Sense of Humor

1. What did Robert E. Lee say when he ran out of money? “I’ve lost my Confederate!”
2. Why did Robert E. Lee have such trouble getting his troops into battle? Because they were always on the defense!
3. What was Robert E. Lee’s favorite food? Southern comfort!
4. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw his army surrendering? “My troops are surrendering pea-cefully!”
5. Why did Robert E. Lee have such bad luck with his generals? Because half of them were de-feet-ed!
6. What was Robert E. Lee’s favorite color? Olive drab!
7. What did Robert E. Lee say when he was asked to surrender? “I’ll Lee you fight another day!”
8. What was Robert E. Lee’s favorite joke? “What do you call a Confederate general with no arms? Disarmed!”
9. What did Robert E. Lee say when he was captured? “Union soldiers! I surrender, and I lick!” 😉
10. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Union flag flying over the White House? “Well, I guess I’ll LEEve now!”
11. Why did Robert E. Lee fail at his attack on Gettysburg? Because he couldn’t Pickett the fence!
12. What did Robert E. Lee say when he heard that Stonewall Jackson had been shot? 🙈 “I’ve lost my Stonewall!”
13. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Battle of Antietam? ⚔️ “Holy Smoke-screen!”
14. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Yankees advancing? 🏃‍♂️ “Union soldiers! You can’t Lee-ve!”
15. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Confederate flag flying low? 🇱🇷 “Well, I guess I’ll just surrender now!”
16. Why didn’t Robert E. Lee like riding in a buggy? Because it was a Lee-tle too Southern for him!
17. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Union army approaching? 😮 “Well, I guess I’ll just Lee-ve now!”
18. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Union flag flying? 🇱🇷 “Well, I guess I’ll just surrender now!”
19. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Confederate flag flying low? 🏳️‍🌈 “Well, I guess I’ll just surrender now!”
20. What did Robert E. Lee say when he saw the Yankees advancing? 🏃‍♂️ “Union soldiers! You can’t Lee-ve!”

The Battle of Gettysburg: A Hair-Raising Pun-fest

1. Who was the best fighter at the Battle of Gettysburg? General Cus-ter-hair!
2. Why did the Union soldiers lose the first day of battle? Because Lee had a hair advantage!
3. What did the Confederate soldiers use as camouflage? Hairnets!
4. Why did the battle end in a draw? Because neither side could comb the other! 💇‍♂️
5. What did the generals use to communicate during the battle? Hairy codes! 📟
6. Why did the soldiers grow their hair long? To protect themselves from hair-raising bullets! 🛡️
7. What was the most popular song during the battle? “Hair today, gone tomorrow!” 🎶
8. Why did the battle last for so long? Because both sides were too stubborn to cut their losses! ✂️
9. What do you call a soldier who lost all his hair in the battle? A balding eagle! 🦅
10. Why did the soldiers keep getting lost in the woods? Because they couldn’t split hairs! 🌳
11. What did the soldiers do when they ran out of bullets? They used their hairspray as a weapon! 🧴
12. Why did the battle leave such a lasting impression? Because it was a real hair-raiser! 😲
13. What do you call a soldier who got a bad haircut before the battle? A close shave! 🪒
14. Why did the Confederate soldiers lose the battle? Because they were out-haired! 💪
15. What was the most dangerous part of the battle? The hair-trigger zone! 🎯
16. Why did the soldiers get so tangled up in the battle? Because they couldn’t comb through the chaos! 💣
17. What did the soldiers use to keep their hair clean during the battle? Hair-washing machines! 🧼
18. Why did the battle end so suddenly? Because one side got hair-brained! 🧠
19. What do you call a soldier who lost his hair in the battle but kept fighting? A hair-raising hero! 🎖️
20. Why did the battle leave such a bad taste in everyone’s mouths? Because the soldiers were using hair-care products! 🤢

The Surrender at Appomattox: A Pun-derful End to a Pun-ishing War

1. What did the Confederate general say when he saw the Union army at Appomattox? “Looks like we’re surrounded… by jokesters!”
2. Why did the Confederate cavalry surrender? Because they ran out of puns!
3. What’s the difference between a Confederate soldier and a Union soldier? One surrendered, the other didn’t! 😂
4. Why didn’t the Confederate army get any sleep at Appomattox? Because they couldn’t handle the puns’sion!
5. What did General Lee say when he surrendered? “I’m throwing in the pun-towel!”
6. Why did the Union soldiers have such bad jokes? Because they were ‘pun’ishing the Confederates!
7. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always telling puns? A rebel with a pun-derful cause!
8. Why did the Confederate army surrender? Because they were tired of getting ‘pun’ished!
9. What do you call a Confederate general who’s always making puns? General Pun-isher!
10. Why were the Confederate soldiers so good at puns? Because they had a lot of ‘pun’ishment to endure!
11. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always laughing at his own puns? A ‘pun’isher!
12. Why did the Union soldiers win the Battle of Appomattox? Because they had better puns!
13. What did the Confederate soldiers say when they saw the Union soldiers approaching? “Looks like we’re in for a pun-ishment!”
14. Why did the Confederate army surrender? Because they couldn’t stand the Union’s puns!
15. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always making bad puns? A rebel with a ‘pun’ishing personality!
16. Why did the Confederate general surrender? Because he realized that the Union army was just too ‘punny’ for them to handle!
17. What’s the difference between a Confederate soldier and a Union soldier? The Confederate soldier is ‘pun’ished for his sins, while the Union soldier is ‘pun’ful!
18. Why did the Confederate army lose the Battle of Appomattox? Because they didn’t have any ‘pun’tential!
19. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting into trouble? A ‘pun’isher!
20. Why did the Confederate general surrender? Because he realized that the Union army had better puns! 😂

Civil War Generals: Pun-tastic Leaders

1. Ulysses S. Grant: “I didn’t Grant permission for these puns!”
2. William Tecumseh Sherman: “I’m Sherman-ated by all this humor!”
3. George Thomas: “My puns are so Thomas-tic!”
4. Stonewall Jackson: “I’m Jackson-pilled with puns!”
5. Robert E. Lee: “My puns are Lee-gitimate!” 😂
6. Abraham Lincoln: “I’m Lincoln-ked to these puns!”
7. Ulysses S. Grant: “I’ve Grant-ed you permission to laugh.”
8. William Tecumseh Sherman: “I’m Sherman-tastic with puns.”
9. George Thomas: “My puns are Thomas-approved.”
10. Stonewall Jackson: “I’m Jackson-ready to pun.”
11. Robert E. Lee: “My puns are Lee-gal.”
12. Abraham Lincoln: “I’m Lincoln-terested in your puns.”
13. Ulysses S. Grant: “I Grant you these puns are hilarious.”
14. William Tecumseh Sherman: “I’m Sherman-ing with these puns.”
15. George Thomas: “My puns are Thomas-approved.”
16. Stonewall Jackson: “I’m Jackson-tastic with puns.”
17. Robert E. Lee: “My puns are Lee-gitimate.”
18. Abraham Lincoln: “I’m Lincoln-king these puns.”
19. Ulysses S. Grant: “I Grant you these puns are the best.”
20. William Tecumseh Sherman: “I’m Sherman-ated by these puns.” 😂

Civil War Puns: A Sutler’s Stock of Wordplay

1. What do you call a Confederate soldier who can’t keep time? A General Lee-gatory.
2. Why did the Union soldier wear a gas mask? Because there was too much Sherman in the air.
3. What do you call a cannon that’s always getting into trouble? A rebel with a ball.
4. Why did the Confederate general avoid the Union artillery? Because he didn’t want to get Grant-ed. 😂
5. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always late? A slowpoke rebel or A Beauregard.
6. Why did the Union soldier cross the road? To get to the other side of the Mason-Dixon Line.
7. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always on the lookout? A sentry-Davis.
8. Why did the Union soldier refuse to eat Confederate beans? Because he didn’t want to get Lee’d by them.
9. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting into fights? A hothead.
10. Why did the Union soldier wear a vest? To protect his chest-ernaut.
11. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting lost? A lost cause.
12. Why did the Confederate soldier join the cavalry? Because he wanted to ride with a Stone-wall.
13. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting captured? A prisoner of war-ren.
14. Why did the Union soldier wear a top hat? To keep his head unionized.
15. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always bragging about his exploits? A tall-cotton rebel.
16. Why did the Union soldier refuse to eat Confederate cornbread? Because it was too gritty.
17. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting into trouble? A Stone-wall troublemaker.
18. Why did the Union soldier wear a raincoat? To protect himself from the rain-bow.
19. What do you call a Confederate soldier who’s always getting his uniform dirty? A mud-der.
20. Why did the Union soldier join the artillery? Because he wanted to see some shelling.

From the Battlefield to the Pun-field: Civil War Humor

1. What do you call a Confederate soldier who always gets his way? A Rebel without a cause.
2. Why did the Union soldiers march in circles? Because they didn’t want to get their lines crossed!
3. What do you call a Confederate general who’s always late? General Lee, of course!
4. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting lost? A Union Jack!
5. Why did the Confederate soldiers always wear blue? Because they wanted to blend in with the Yankees!
6. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting into trouble? A Yank in a pickle!
7. Why did the Confederate soldiers always charge into battle with their eyes closed? Because they wanted to be surprised!
8. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always sleeping? A Yank in a daze!
9. Why did the Confederate soldiers always march in double time? Because they wanted to double their pleasure!
10. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting shot? A target practice!
11. Why did the Confederate soldiers always wear red? Because they wanted to blend in with the blood! 🩸
12. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting captured? A Yank in captivity!
13. Why did the Confederate soldiers always fight in the woods? Because they wanted to have a field day! 🌳
14. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting sick? A Yank with the flu! 🤒
15. Why did the Confederate soldiers always march in the rain? Because they wanted to get wet and wild! 🌧️
16. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting into fights? A Yank in a brawl!
17. Why did the Confederate soldiers always wear long beards? Because they wanted to look like Lincoln! 🧔‍♂️
18. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting lost? A Yank in a wilderness!
19. Why did the Confederate soldiers always sing “Dixie”? Because they wanted to show their Southern pride! 🎙️
20. What do you call a Union soldier who’s always getting injured? A Yank with a limp!

The Battle of Pun-ksburg: South vs. North in a Pun-ishing Rivalry

1. I’m so proud of my friend who flew to South Pun-ksburg to visit me. He’s a real high-flyer!
2. I heard the weather in North Pun-ksburg is a little chilly. But hey, at least it’s better than being in the dog puns!
3. The general of the South Pun-ksburg army marched his troops into the battle, yelling, “Prepare for a pun-ishment!”
4. The North Pun-ksburg army was no match for the Southern punslingers. They were outgunned and out-punned.
5. The battle raged on, with each side firing puns and wisecracks like artillery shells.
6. The South Pun-ksburg army finally emerged victorious, sending the North Pun-ksburg forces pun-ishing into retreat.
7. After the battle, the soldiers from both sides gathered for a pun-filled feast, sharing their favorite puns and jokes. 😜
8. The Battle of Pun-ksburg went down in history as one of the greatest pun-derings of all time.
9. The rivalry between North Pun-ksburg and South Pun-ksburg continues to this day, but it’s all in good fun.
10. After all, puns are the highest form of humor!
11. I’m off to South Pun-ksburg for a pun-tastic vacation. Wish me luck!
12. I’m hoping to find some new pun-derful friends there.
13. I’m sure I’ll have a pun-derful time exploring the city.
14. I can’t wait to see all the pun-tastic sights and attractions. 😋
15. I’m even going to try my hand at some pun-derful puns myself.
16. I’m sure the locals will appreciate my pun-derful sense of humor.
17. I’m going to have a pun-derful time in South Pun-ksburg!
18. I’m sure I’ll make some pun-derful memories.
19. I’m going to have a pun-derful time exploring the city.
20. I can’t wait to see all the pun-tastic sights and attractions.

Civil War Puns: A Yankee’s Guide to Confederate Jokes

1. What did the North say when the South fired the first shot? They fired the last shot!
2. Why did the Union army cross the river? To get to the other secession!
3. What did the Southern general say to his troops? “Let’s get ready to rum-ble!”
4. Why couldn’t the Union soldiers find any sugar? Because the Confederates had all the molasses! 🇺🇲
5. What did the Yankee say to the Rebel? I’m going to beat you to the draw!
6. Why were the Northern soldiers so good at math? They knew their long division!
7. What did the Confederate soldier call his girlfriend? His Belle of the Ball!
8. Why did the Union Army win the Battle of Gettysburg? Because they had more ammo-nites!
9. What did the Southern general say to his troops before they charged? “Fix bayonets and be-Lee-ve!”
10. Why did the Confederate Army surrender at Appomattox Court House? Because they were out of Lee-way!
11. What did the North say when the South surrendered? They waved the white flag and said “We’re done!” 🏳️
12. Why were the Southern soldiers so good at hiding? Because they were experts at camouflage!
13. What did the Union soldier say to the Confederate soldier? “I’m going to take you prisoner!”
14. Why didn’t the Confederate Army invade Canada? Because they were afraid of the cold-oh-knee-oh!
15. What did the Yankee general say to his troops before the Battle of Antietam? “We’re going to go down in his-story!”
16. Why were the Union soldiers so good at fighting? Because they had a lot of spirit! 🥃
17. What did the Confederate soldier say to the Union soldier? “I’m not giving up my gun!”
18. Why did the Yankee soldiers win the Battle of Vicksburg? Because they had more Mississippi-ppi!
19. What did the Southern general say to his troops before the Battle of Atlanta? “We’re going to burn the city to the ground!” 🔥
20. Why did the Union Army win the Civil War? Because they had a better general: Ulysses S. Grant!