112+ Clothes Puns That’ll Put a Stitch in Your Side

Get ready to unravel the hilarious world of clothes puns! This collection of witty wordplay and sartorial shenanigans is guaranteed to leave you in stitches. From puns that will make you dye-lightful to quips that will unravel the clothes-iest jokes, we’ve got it all. Get fitted for laughs with our tailored puns, and prepare for a T-shirt surprise that will melt your heart. Hold onto your socks, because we’ve got holed-up humor that will knock you off your feet. We’ll zip you up with puns that will have you in a fastener mood, and button up your fancy with rib-tickling button puns. Stay warm and laughing with our hooded humor, and prepare to collar yourself with puns about shirts. Tackle your pressing matters with iron-clad jokes, and get needled for laughs with our sewing-inspired puns. Embrace the blues with denim-inspired puns, and suit yourself with dapper quips that will make you look sharp. Finally, dress for success with puns about dresses that will make you feel like a princess. So, buckle up, put on your pun-niest outfit, and let’s dive into the wardrobe of wordsmithery!

Clothes Call: Puns That Will Make You Dye-Lightful

1. Dye-ing to meet you!
2. This joke will make you blue in the face! 👕👖
3. What do you call a shirt that’s always in a good mood? A happy tee!
4. What do you call a pair of pants that are always on the go? Wanderlust trousers!
5. How do you mend a broken shirt? With a needle and thread-er! 🧵🪡
6. What do you call a scarf that’s always cold? A chilly wrap! 🧣❄
7. Why did the sock get lost? Because it had a hole in its sole! 🧦
8. What do you call a shirt that’s always making mistakes? A blunderbuss! 👚
9. Why did the sweater get so excited? Because it was going to a yarn party! 🧶🎉
10. What do you call a pair of pants that are always giving up? Surrender slacks! 👖🏳️
11. How do you fix a cracked pair of jeans? With a denim patch! 👖🩹
12. What do you call a shirt that’s always in trouble? A rebel tee! 👕💣
13. Why did the scarf get a promotion? Because it was good at keeping its neck warm! 🧣💼
14. What do you call a pair of pants that are always getting into mischief? Trouble trousers! 👖😂
15. How do you mend a ripped shirt? With a holy stitch! 👕⛪
16. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A criminal collar! 👮‍♂️👔
17. Why did the sweater get so excited? Because it was going to a yarn rave! 🧶🎶
18. What do you call a pair of pants that are always on the lookout? Vigilante slacks! 👖🕵️‍♂️
19. How do you fix a broken zipper? With a zip-up solution! 🤐🪡
20. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into fights? A pugnacious polo! 👕🥊

Threads and Quips: Unraveling the Clothes-iest Jokes

1. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A collar offender.
2. Why did the sock get arrested? For having a hole in its alibi.
3. What do you call a blouse that’s always late? A procrastination station.
4. Why did the turtleneck get a promotion? Because it was a high-collar employee.
5. What do you call a T-shirt that’s always hot? A sweater weather stopper.
6. Why did the flannel shirt get into an argument with the vest? Because it was too plaid to ignore.
7. What do you call a belt that’s always in a good mood? A happy buckle.
8. Why did the suit feel incomplete? Because it was missing its button-up.
9. What do you call a pair of pants that are always too tight? A pair of claustrophobes.
10. Why did the sweatpants take a nap? Because it was too comfy to pants.
11. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into a fight? A collar-brawler.
12. Why did the dress get a divorce? Because it was always getting hemmed in.
13. What do you call a jacket that’s always shivering? A cold shoulder.
14. Why did the socks get married? Because they found their perfect match.
15. What do you call a shirt that’s always making excuses? A scapegoat shirt.
16. Why did the sweatpants get lost? Because it didn’t have any pockets to hold its map.
17. What do you call a sweater that’s always smiling? A knit-wit.
18. Why did the scarf get a promotion? Because it was always on the ball.
19. What do you call a T-shirt that’s always complaining? A whine-shirt.
20. Why did the clothesline get a vacation? Because it was too tired from holding up all those shirts. 👖

Fitted for Laughs: Tailored Puns That’ll Leave You in Stitches

1. What do you call a tailor who’s always making puns? A seam-ster comedian.
2. Why did the tailor get lost on the highway? He kept taking the wrong stitch.
3. How do you fix a cracked seam? With a needle and thread-erapy.
4. What do you call a tailor who’s always in a bad mood? A stitch-in-time grump.
5. Why did the tailor get so upset? Because he was always being hemmed in.
6. What do you call a tailor who’s always busy? A well-suited professional.
7. What do you call a tailor who’s always late? A procrastin-seam-inator.
8. Why did the tailor refuse to measure a vampire? He didn’t want to get bitten.
9. What do you call a tailor who’s always making jokes? A pun-isher.
10. Why did the tailor get arrested? Because he was caught stealing stitches.
11. What do you call a tailor who’s always giving advice? A thread-apist.
12. Why did the tailor get a divorce? Because his wife couldn’t keep up with his seams.
13. What do you call a tailor who’s always making mistakes? A seam-aster of disaster.
14. Why did the tailor go to the doctor? Because he had a fabric tear.
15. What do you call a tailor who’s always making promises? A yarn-spinner.
16. Why did the tailor get stuck in the elevator? Because the doors weren’t open-seam.
17. What do you call a tailor who’s always losing his thimble? A needle-less case.
18. Why did the tailor get a job at the circus? Because he was a master of tent-making.
19. What do you call a tailor who’s always making vests? A waist-ful spender. 😉
20. Why did the tailor get a sunburn? Because he was ironing outside. ☀️

T-Shirt Surprises: Puns So Cheesy, They’ll Make You Melt

1. If you want to see your shirt looking sharp, put it in the “shirt”-ening machine.
2. My t-shirt collection is like a slice of pizza – cheesy and irresistible! 🧀
3. Why did the t-shirt run away? Because it was afraid of getting folded!
4. What do you call a shirt that doesn’t like to be worn? A re-fussy shirt!
5. Why are t-shirts so good at hide-and-seek? Because they’re always “hiding” in the closet!
6. What do you get when you cross a t-shirt with a kangaroo? A shirt that has a pouch for your snacks!
7. What do you call a t-shirt that’s always on the go? A “jet”-shirt! ✈️
8. Why did the t-shirt go to the doctor? Because it had a hole in its armpit!
9. What do you call a t-shirt that’s always shrinking? A “worry” shirt!
10. Why did the t-shirt get a high score on its math test? Because it was a “perfect fit”!
11. What do you call a t-shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A “shirt”-ious offender!
12. Why did the t-shirt get lost? Because it didn’t have a “map”-print on it!
13. What do you call a t-shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A “shirt”-ious offender!
14. Why did the t-shirt get a red card? Because it was “ruff”-ling the other shirts! ⚽️
15. What do you call a t-shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A “shirt”-ious offender!
16. Why did the t-shirt get a new job? Because it was looking for a “stretch” in its career!
17. What do you call a t-shirt that’s always late? A “pro-crasti-shirt”!
18. Why did the t-shirt get arrested? Because it was “shirt”-napping!
19. What do you call a t-shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A “shirt”-ious offender!
20. Why did the t-shirt get a speeding ticket? Because it was “too fast for the lane”! 🚧

Holed Up Humor: Puns About Socks That Will Knock You Off Your Feet

1. What do you call a sock that’s always in trouble? A heel-raiser.
2. Why did the sock get arrested? For being caught with a sole.
3. What do you call a sock that’s always on its feet? A shoe-in.
4. Why did the sock cross the road? To get to the other foot. 🧦
5. What do you call a sock that’s full of holes? A knee-puncher.
6. What do you call a sock that’s always late? A slow poke.
7. What do you call a sock that’s always making jokes? A knee-slapper.
8. What do you call a sock that’s always getting lost? A tramp.
9. What do you call a sock that’s always getting dirty? A foot-rag.
10. What do you call a sock that’s always getting into trouble? A knee-jerk.
11. What do you call a sock that’s always getting wet? A water-sock.
12. What do you call a sock that’s always getting cold? A knee-warmer.
13. What do you call a sock that’s always getting stepped on? A doormat.
14. What do you call a sock that’s always getting eaten? A cat toy.
15. What do you call a sock that’s always getting lost in the dryer? A sock orphan. 🧦
16. What do you call a sock that’s always giving you blisters? A heel-bender.
17. What do you call a sock that’s always making you itch? A knee-scratcher.
18. What do you call a sock that’s always making you sweat? A foot-smeller.
19. What do you call a sock that’s always making you laugh? A knee-slapper. 🧦
20. What do you call a sock that’s always making you cry? A knee-jerker.

Zipped-Up Jokes: Puns About Zippers That Will Have You in a Fastener Mood

1. What do you call a zipper that’s always in a good mood? A happy zipper 😁
2. Why did the zipper get arrested? For indecent exposure!
3. What do you call a zipper that’s always on the go? A fast-track zipper 🏁
4. What do you call a zipper that’s always folding? A criss-cross zipper 🔁
5. What do you call a zipper that’s always making noises? A chatterbox zipper 💬
6. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting into fights? A feisty zipper ⚔️
7. What do you call a zipper that’s always losing its teeth? A gummy zipper 🦷
8. What do you call a zipper that’s always breaking down? A malfunctioning zipper 🔩
9. What do you call a zipper that’s always making mistakes? A rookie zipper 🎓
10. What do you call a zipper that’s always stuck? A stubborn zipper 🔒
11. What do you call a zipper that’s always telling jokes? A pun-derful zipper 🃏
12. What do you call a zipper that’s always fashionable? A stylish zipper 🕶️
13. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting into trouble? A mischievous zipper 🎭
14. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting lost? A wandering zipper 👣
15. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting dirty? A grimy zipper 🧹
16. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting tangled? A knotty zipper 🪢
17. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting stuck? A sticky zipper 🍯
18. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting broken? A fragile zipper 💔
19. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting rusted? A rusty zipper ⚙️
20. What do you call a zipper that’s always getting worn out? A tired zipper 😴

Buttoned-Up Laughs: Hilarious Puns About Buttons That Will Button Your Fancy

1. What do you call a button that won’t sew on? A button-holic.
2. Why did the button get lost? Because it couldn’t find its hole.
3. What do you call a button that’s too small? A mini-button.
4. What do you call a button that’s too big? A maxi-button.
5. What do you call a button that’s always on the go? A shuttle button.
6. What do you call a button that’s always in a hurry? A rush button.
7. What do you call a button that’s always late? A procrastinating button.
8. What do you call a button that’s always in the bathroom? A privy button.
9. What do you call a button that’s always in the kitchen? A cooking button.
10. What do you call a button that’s always in the bedroom? A sleepy button.
11. What do you call a button that’s always in the garden? 🌱 A daisy button.
12. What do you call a button that’s always in the library? A book button.
13. What do you call a button that’s always in the gym? A workout button.
14. What do you call a button that’s always in the car? A driving button.
15. What do you call a button that’s always in the office? A working button.
16. What do you call a button that’s always in the hospital? A doctor button.
17. What do you call a button that’s always in the courtroom? A lawyer button.
18. What do you call a button that’s always in the church? A 🙏 prayer button.
19. What do you call a button that’s always on the beach? A 🏖️ summer button.
20. What do you call a button that’s always on the farm? A 🌾 country button.

Hooded Humor: Puns About Hoodies That Will Keep You Warm and Laughing

1. Why did the hoodie get arrested? For being a hooded fugitive!
2. What do you call a hoodie with a built-in pillow? A капюshon.
3. Why couldn’t the hoodie decide where to go? Because it was always hoodwinked!
4. What do you get when you cross a hoodie and a kangaroo? A pouch potato!
5. Why did the hoodie go to the doctor? Because it had a hood cold!
6. What do you call a hoodie that loves to dance? A hoodience!
7. Why did the hoodie get a promotion? Because it was the head of its department!
8. What do you call a hoodie that’s always getting into trouble? A hoodlum!
9. Why did the hoodie get lost in the woods? Because it didn’t have a map hood!
10. What do you call a hoodie that’s always getting into fights? A hoodie with a hood complex!
11. Why did the hoodie cross the road? Because it wanted to get to the other hood! 🤣
12. What do you call a hoodie that’s always late? A hoodwinker!
13. Why did the hoodie get a new job? Because it was tired of being a hoodlum!
14. What do you call a hoodie that’s always tired? A hoodie with a hoodache! 🥱
15. Why did the hoodie go to the library? Because it wanted to read a hood book!
16. What do you call a hoodie that’s always getting lost? A hoodini!
17. Why did the hoodie start a band? Because it wanted to be a hood rocker! 🤘
18. What do you call a hoodie that’s always getting into trouble? A hoodlum!
19. Why did the hoodie get a new haircut? Because it wanted to be a hoodlum!
20. What do you call a hoodie that’s always getting into fights? A hood fighter! 🥊

Caught in the Act: Sneaky Puns About Shirts That Will Make You Collar Yourself

1. You could say those puns about shirts made me collar myself.
2. When the shirt saw the puns, it buttoned up in embarrassment.
3. I tried to make a pun about a shirt, but it fell flat.
4. Why did the shirt get lost? Because it didn’t know its hemline from its hemlines.
5. What do you call a shirt that’s always in the wrong place at the wrong time? A misfit.
6. I like to wear shirts with puns on them. It’s a way to express my shirt-itude.
7. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A rogue. 👔
8. What do you call a shirt that’s always on the go? A rush-hour shirt.
9. What do you call a shirt that’s always stealing clothes? A klepto-shirt.
10. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into fights? A brawling shirt.
11. What do you call a shirt that’s always wearing a hat? A chapeau-shirt. 🎩
12. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting lost? A wandering shirt.
13. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A rogue shirt.
14. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into fights? A brawling shirt.
15. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting lost? A wandering shirt.
16. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A rogue shirt. 🧥
17. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into fights? A brawling shirt.
18. What do you call a shirt that’s always losing its buttons? A buttonless shirt.
19. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting ripped? A torn shirt.
20. What do you call a shirt that’s always getting dirty? A soiled shirt.

Pressing Matters: Puns About Irons That Will Smooth Out Your Laughs

1. Irony-cally, I’m a good listener when you’re ironing out problems.
2. What do you call an iron that’s always under the weather? A sick iron!
3. Why did the iron get so hot? Because it was on the crease!
4. What do you call an iron that’s always late? A pressing matter!
5. Why did the iron go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit off!
6. What do you call an iron that’s always on the go? A mobile iron!
7. Why did the iron get a sunburn? Because it was left out in the open!
8. What do you call an iron that’s always in a hurry? A speedy iron! ⚡
9. Why did the iron take a day off? Because it was feeling a bit pressed!
10. What do you call an iron that’s always in trouble? A bad iron!
11. Why did the iron get a new job? Because it was tired of pressing its luck!
12. What do you call an iron that’s always in a good mood? A happy iron! 😄
13. Why did the iron get lost? Because it couldn’t find its creases!
14. What do you call an iron that’s always getting into fights? A hot-headed iron!
15. Why did the iron get promoted? Because it was a hard worker!
16. What do you call an iron that’s always making mistakes? A faulty iron!
17. Why did the iron join a band? Because it wanted to play it by ear! 🎶
18. What do you call an iron that’s always cold? A chilly iron! 🥶
19. Why did the iron go to the library? To iron out some wrinkles!
20. What do you call an iron that’s always breaking down? A rusty iron!

Needled for Laughs: Puns About Needles That Will Stitch Up Your Funny Bone

1. Why did the needle run away? Because it was afraid of getting pricked.
2. What do you call a needle that’s always on the go? A road needle.
3. What do you call a needle that’s always getting into trouble? A bad needle.
4. What do you call a needle that’s always getting lost? A wandering needle. 🪡
5. What do you call a needle that’s always bragging? A show-off needle.
6. What do you call a needle that’s always getting sick? A sick needle. 🤒
7. What do you call a needle that’s always getting into fights? A tough needle.
8. What do you call a needle that’s always making jokes? A funny needle. 😂
9. What do you call a needle that’s always getting lost? A wandering needle.
10. What do you call a needle that’s always getting into trouble? A bad needle.
11. What do you call a needle that’s always getting lost? A wandering needle.
12. What do you call a needle that’s always getting into trouble? A bad needle.
13. What do you call a needle that’s always getting sick? A sick needle.
14. What do you call a needle that’s always getting into fights? A tough needle.
15. What do you call a needle that’s always making jokes? A funny needle.
16. What do you call a needle that’s always getting lost? A wandering needle.
17. What do you call a needle that’s always getting into trouble? A bad needle.
18. What do you call a needle that’s always getting sick? A sick needle.
19. What do you call a needle that’s always getting into fights? A tough needle.
20. What do you call a needle that’s always making jokes? A funny needle. 😂

Jeans for the Soul: Puns About Denim That Will Leave You in a Blue Mood

1. What do you call a pair of jeans that are always sad? Denim blues. 👖
2. Why did the jeans get arrested? Because they were caught trying to make a getaway! 👮‍♀️👖
3. What do you call a pair of jeans that can do math? Calculators. 🧮👖
4. Why did the jeans get a divorce? Because they had a falling out. 💔👖
5. What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always in a good mood? Happy pants! 😁👖
6. Why did the jeans cross the road? To get to the other side…seam. 🛣️👖
7. What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always getting into trouble? A denim delinquent! ⛓️👖
8. Why did the jeans go to the doctor? Because they were feeling blue. 😞👖
9. What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always cold? Shiver me timbers! 🥶👖
10. 👖 What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always getting lost? 🗺️ They’re never where you left them!
11. What do you call a pair of jeans that just won’t quit? Denim determination! 💪👖
12. 👖 Why did the jeans get a speeding ticket? 🚔 Because they were driving in the fast lane!
13. What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always in a hurry? Rush hour blues. ⏰👖
14. 👖 Why did the jeans get all dressed up? 👗 They were going to a denim ball!
15. What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always taking naps? Denim dozers. 💤👖
16. 👖 Why did the jeans get stuck in the elevator? 🏢 They couldn’t button up!
17. What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always late for everything? Denim procrastinators. ⌛👖
18. 👖 Why did the jeans get a sunburn? ☀️ They went to the beach without any sunscreen!
19. What do you call a pair of jeans that’s always bragging? Denim divas. 💁‍♀️👖
20. 👖 Why did the jeans get a tattoo? 💉 They wanted to get “inked-igo!”

Suit Yourself: Dapper Puns About Suits That Will Make You Look Sharp

1. Why did the suit get a promotion? Because it was well-tailored!
2. What do you call a suit that’s always in trouble? A lawsuit!
3. Why did the businessman wear a polka-dot suit? To show his spot-on style!
4. What do you call a suit that’s always breaking the law? A criminal suit! 👔
5. Why did the suit need a haircut? Because it was getting shaggy!
6. What do you call a suit that’s always making jokes? A pun-suit!
7. Why did the suit get a standing ovation? Because it was a dapper dresser!
8. What do you call a suit that’s always getting into fights? A brawl suit!
9. Why did the suit get a speeding ticket? Because it was caught going fast in the fashion lane!
10. What do you call a suit that’s always losing? A loser suit!
11. Why did the suit go to the doctor? Because it was feeling under the vest!
12. What do you call a suit that’s always complaining? A whiny suit!
13. Why did the suit get a divorce? Because it was always getting into fights with its pants!
14. What do you call a suit that’s always getting lost? A lost suit!
15. Why did the suit go to the tailor? Because it needed a hemline!
16. What do you call a suit that’s always late? A tardy suit!
17. Why did the suit get a tattoo? Because it wanted to show off its threads!
18. What do you call a suit that’s always getting into trouble? A rogue suit! 👔
19. Why did the suit go to the bank? To get a loan for a new pair of pants!
20. What do you call a suit that’s always making people laugh? A comedy suit!

Dress for Success: Puns About Dresses That Will Make You Feel Like a Princess

1. What do you call a dress that’s too tight? A dress-aster.
2. Why did the princess wear a polka dot dress? Because she wanted to become spotted royalty!
3. What do you call a dress made of feathers? A flight of fancy!
4. Why did the mermaid wear a seashell dress? Because she wanted to shell-ebrate!
5. What do you call a dress that’s always in a hurry? A dress-tress!
6. Why did the seamstress get lost? Because she took a wrong thread!
7. What do you call a dress that’s always late? A dress-lay!
8. Why did the princess wear a bell-shaped dress? Because she wanted to be a belle of the ball!
9. What do you call a dress that’s always on the move? A dress-covery!
10. Why did the fashion designer go to the doctor? Because they had a stitch in their side!
11. What do you call a dress that’s made of candy? A sweet treat!
12. Why did the princess wear a dress made of thorns? Because she wanted to be a rose among thorns!
13. What do you call a dress that’s always in style? A classic dress!
14. Why did the dressmaker get a divorce? Because their marriage was on the rocks!
15. What do you call a dress that’s always in a good mood? A happy dress!
16. Why did the princess wear a dress made of stars? Because she wanted to be a starry night!
17. What do you call a dress that’s always getting into trouble? A dress-aster!
18. Why did the seamstress get a speeding ticket? Because she was driving in the fast lane!
19. What do you call a dress that’s always getting lost? A dress-oriented!
20. Why did the fashion designer move to the country? Because they wanted to live off the land!