101+ Hamlet Puns That'll Make You Wonder, 'To Pun or Not to Pun'?

Prepare yourself for a literary journey filled with wit and wordplay as we delve into the world of Hamlet puns! In this blog, we’ll unravel the myriad ways Shakespeare infused puns into his timeless masterpiece, creating a tapestry of humor and intrigue that captivates readers to this day.Whether you’re a pun enthusiast or a Hamlet aficionado, you’ll find yourself entertained and enlightened as we explore the puns uttered by Hamlet, his fellow characters, and even the play’s tragic events. From the witty quips of Hamlet’s soliloquies to the groan-inducing groaners of Gertrude, each pun offers a unique insight into the characters and their motivations.So, my dear reader, join me on this pun-tastic adventure as we uncover the hidden humor within Hamlet. Let’s embark on a journey where laughter and tragedy intertwine, and where the words of the Bard take on a whole new level of amusement.

Hamlet’s Solilo-quips

To slay or not to slay, that is the question-mark!
A rose by any other name would smell as… wait, it’s a punny rose! 👻
Methinks this Hamlet’s got a case of the solilo-quips!
Ophelia’s drowning in a sea of puns. 🌊
Polonius’s advice is full of holes, like Swiss cheese!
Yorick’s skull is the perfect backdrop for a knock-knock joke.
Gertrude’s remarriage is a real Hamlet-disaster! 💥
Claudius’s guilt is as obvious as a neon sign in a dark alley.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern should stick to puns, not plotting. 🃏
Laertes’s fencing skills are sharp as a wit’s tongue.
The ghost of Hamlet’s father is giving everyone a royal pain in the neck! 💀
Ophelia’s madness has descended upon the castle like a flock of puns. 🐦
Hamlet’s procrastination is as legendary as his soliloquies.
Polonius’s death is a tragicomedy of puns. 😂😭
The play within the play is a puns-ical masterpiece!🎭
Hamlet’s indecisiveness is a perfect target for punny jokes. 🎯
Ophelia’s flowers are blooming with puns. 🌸
The graveyard scene is a goldmine for puns. 💀
Hamlet’s soliloquies are like a pun buffet, with something for everyone’s taste.
The play is full of pun-ishment for the audience! 👮‍♀️

To Pun or Not To Pun: That Is the Question

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
I’m an archaeologist. My career is in ruins.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi! 🐝
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

Bard Puns: Hamlet Edition

What do you call a Bard who’s always looking for a fight? Hamlet, prince of pain.
Why did Hamlet go to the doctor? To get his Polonius prescription.
What do you call a Bard who’s always on the go? Hamlet, the procrastinator.
How do you know when Hamlet is telling a joke? He says, “To jest or not to jest, that is the question.”
What’s Hamlet’s favorite food? Soliloquy cheese.
What do you call a Bard who’s always in trouble? Hamlet, the rapscallion.
Why did Hamlet get a library card? To check out the latest tragedies.
What do you call a Bard who’s always late? Hamlet, the procrastinator. 🎭
Why did Hamlet get a job as a security guard? To watch over the castle.
How do you know when Hamlet is really angry? He shouts, “Get thee to a nunnery!” 🎭
What do you call a Bard who’s always getting lost? Hamlet, the directionless.
Why did Hamlet get a job as a bartender? To serve up some “to be or not to be” cocktails.
What’s Hamlet’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla.
What do you call a Bard who’s always complaining? Hamlet, the whiner.
Why did Hamlet get a job as a teacher? To educate the masses about the importance of drama.
What’s Hamlet’s favorite fruit? Pears (because they’re so tragic). 🎭
What do you call a Bard who’s always getting into trouble? Hamlet, the troublemaker.
Why did Hamlet get a job as a journalist? To get the scoop on all the latest events.
What’s Hamlet’s favorite kind of music? Classical tragedy.
What do you call a Bard who’s always making puns? Hamlet, the punisher.

The Punny Prince of Denmark

What do you call a Danish pastry that’s always cracking jokes? A punny pretzel!
Why did the Hamlet ghost love puns? Because he was a real boo-hiss-ter!
How do you know when a Danish prince is telling a dad joke? When he says, “Your majesty, I’m feeling a little regal today!” 🏰
What do you call a Danish prince with a terrible singing voice? A vocal cord-blimey!
Why did the Danish prince cross the road? To get to the other pun-ishment!
What do you call a Danish prince who’s always getting into trouble? A prince-of-crime! 🚫
How do you fix a cracked Danish prince? With a little royal band-aid! 🩹
What’s a Danish prince’s favorite magic trick? Pulling a rabbit out of his royal hat! 🎩
Why did the Danish prince wear a funny hat? Because he was a cap-tivating joker! 🤡
What do you call a Danish prince who’s always up to mischief? A prince-of-darkness! 🎭
How do you know when a Danish prince is really angry? When he’s royally ticked off! 😡
What do you call a Danish prince who’s always late? A tardy to the party! ⏰
How do you fix a leaky Danish prince? With a royal plumber! 🔧
What’s a Danish prince’s favorite drink? A royal flush! 🚽
What do you call a Danish prince who’s always trying to make people laugh? A court jester! 🃏
Why did the Danish prince get a library card? To check out some pun-derful books! 📚
What do you call a Danish prince who’s always getting into fights? A prince-of-war! ⚔️
How do you know when a Danish prince is on a roll? When he’s making punny puns! 🗞️
What’s a Danish prince’s favorite board game? Monopoly! 💰
Why did the Danish prince get lost in the forest? Because he was following a pun-derful trail! 🌲🌳

Yorick’s Jester Jokes

What do you call a skeleton that’s always cracking jokes? Yorick the Jester!
Why did the jester get lost in the woods? Because he didn’t have his compass-ion!
What’s a jester’s favorite food? Court bouillon!
Why are jesters so good at card games? Because they can always pull an ace out of their sleeve!
What do you call a jester who’s always late? A slow-poke! 🎭
Why did the jester get a new hat? Because he was feeling a little head-ache!
What’s a jester’s favorite dance move? The jiggle!
Why did the jester join the orchestra? Because he wanted to be a part of the band!
What do you call a jester who’s always getting into trouble? A court jester!
Why are jesters so good at juggling? Because they have a lot of balls!
What’s a jester’s favorite type of music? Baroque and roll!
Why did the jester get a new job? Because he was fired from his old one for being a court jester!
What do you call a jester who’s always getting into trouble? A court jester! 🎭
Why are jesters so good at making people laugh? Because they have a lot of jokes up their sleeves!
What’s a jester’s favorite holiday? April Fools’ Day!
Why did the jester cross the road? To get to the other side of the moat!
What do you call a jester who’s always making puns? A pun-isher!
Why did the jester get a new car? Because his old one was a court jester!
What’s a jester’s favorite type of drink? A court jester!
Why did the jester get a new job? Because he was tired of being a court jester!

Ophelia’s Punbelievable Puns

Why did Ophelia drown? Because she didn’t know how to Hamlet.
What did Ophelia say when she lost her pet goldfish? Fish and ships. 🌊
Why did Ophelia get lost in the forest? Because she didn’t have a clue-dia.
What do you call a group of Ophelia’s friends? A pun-ishment.
Why couldn’t Ophelia resist a pun? Because they were all so pun-derful.
What do you call Ophelia’s favorite pastime? Pun-ishment.
Why did Ophelia cross the road? To get to the punny side.
What did Ophelia say when she saw a punny joke? I’m over-joyed! 🎉
Why did Ophelia’s puns make everyone laugh? Because they were so knotty.
What do you call Ophelia’s puns? Fin-tastic. 🐠
Why did Ophelia get kicked out of the library? Because she told too many puns.
What do you call Ophelia’s favorite type of joke? A pun-demic.
Why did Ophelia’s puns make everyone cry? Because they were so bad.
What do you call Ophelia’s puns? Sea-worthy. 🌊
Why did Ophelia cross the river? To get to the other tide.
What did Ophelia say when she saw a seagull? Gull-ty as charged. 🐦
Why did Ophelia’s puns get her into trouble? Because they were so corny.
What do you call Ophelia’s puns? Wave-ing. 🌊
Why did Ophelia’s puns make everyone seasick? Because they were so pun-derful.
What do you call Ophelia’s puns? Fin-tastic. 🐠

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern’s Punny Banter

Why did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern get lost in the forest? Because they didn’t have a compass-ion.
What’s Rosencrantz’s favorite type of music? Rap-ier.
What do you call a carpenter who works for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern? A framer.
Why did Guildenstern cross the road? To get to the other side of the plot.
What do you call a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who’s always late? A procrastin-ator.
What’s Rosencrantz’s favorite Shakespeare play? Hamlet-ation.
What do you call a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who’s always getting into trouble? A jester.
Why did Rosencrantz get fired from his job at the bank? Because he couldn’t Hamlet his accounts straight.
What’s Guildenstern’s favorite animal? A porcu-pine 😉.
What do you call a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who’s always telling jokes? A court jester.
Why did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern get a divorce? Because Hamlet broke them apart.
What’s Rosencrantz’s favorite restaurant? The Globe-trotter.
What do you call a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who’s always getting lost? A maze-ter.
Why did Guildenstern get arrested? For being a grave-digger.
What’s Rosencrantz’s favorite Shakespearean insult? “Thou art a traitor.”
What do you call a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who’s always making mistakes? A blunder-buss.
Why did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern start a band? To play heavy metal.
What’s Guildenstern’s favorite type of cheese? Feta-cheese.
What do you call a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who’s always happy? A jester.
Why did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern go to the doctor? Because they were feeling Hamlet.

Polonius’s Pointed Puns

Why did Polonius tell Hamlet to “beware of pretty faces?” Because he knew a skull-duggery. 🎭
What do you call a Polonius who always gets lost? A directionless Polonius. 🗺️
What do you call Polonius when he becomes a politician? A prince of puns. 🏰
What’s Polonius’ favorite type of cheese? Swiss, because it has holes. 🧀
Why did Polonius get banned from the library? Because he kept making puns about the Bard. 📚
What do you call a Polonius who’s always in a hurry? A time-Polonius. ⌛
What’s Polonius’ favorite Shakespearean play? Measure for Measure, because it’s full of advice. 📏
Why did Polonius think he was a good dancer? Because he knew how to throw a leg over. 💃
What’s Polonius’ least favorite part of a play? The intermission, because it’s the only time he can’t make puns. 🎭
What do you call Polonius when he’s wearing a suit? Mr. Pun-suit. 👔
What’s Polonius’ favorite type of music? Rap, because it’s all about rhythm and rhymes. 🎵
Why did Polonius take up running? Because he wanted to get away from his puns. 🏃
What do you call a Polonius who’s always complaining? A grumpolonious. 😒
Why did Polonius get a pet parrot? Because he wanted to have someone to talk puns with. 🦜
What’s Polonius’ favorite type of plant? A pun-settia. 💐
What do you call a Polonius who’s always taking selfies? A pun-oramist. 🤳
Why did Polonius cross the road? To get to the other pun. 🐓
What do you call a Polonius who’s always making up stories? A pun-isher. 📚
Why did Polonius get a job as a teacher? Because he wanted to spread the gift of puns. 🏫
What’s Polonius’ favorite type of tree? A palm tree, because it’s always waving. 🌴

Gertrude’s Groaning Groans

Why did Gertrude groan when she went to the seafood market? Because the puns were so shellfish! 🐚
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟
Why did Gertrude groan when she heard the knock-knock joke? Because it was just a corny joke! 🌽
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! 🪃
Why did Gertrude groan when she went to the library? Because she couldn’t find a book that was worth a dime! 📖
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘
Why did Gertrude groan when she went to the zoo? Because the animals were giving her the hairy eyeball! 👀
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! 🐟
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost! 🐧
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘
Why did Gertrude groan when she went to the doctor? Because he told her she needed a CAT scan! 🐈
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time! ⌛️
Why did Gertrude groan when she went to the grocery store? Because the prices were just too high! 💰
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ☃️
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind as a batfish! 🦇
Why did Gertrude groan when she went to the park? Because she saw a squirrel doing a wheelie! 🐿️
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! 🦌
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick! 🪃
Why did Gertrude groan when she went to the bank? Because she lost her ATM card! 💳
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 🐄

Claudius’s Corny Quips

Why did Claudius’s jokes get booed? Because they were too Corny-lius.
What do you call a Roman emperor who loves corny jokes? A pun-isher.
What kind of jokes do gladiators tell? Spear-its!
What do you call a Roman senator who’s always cracking jokes? A pun-atician.
Why did the Roman soldiers get lost? Because they didn’t have a legion-dary map.
What do you call a Roman emperor who’s always puns? Augus-pun.
Why did the Roman army get so rich? Because they minted a lot of coin-ions.
What do you call a Roman emperor who loves to make dad jokes? A pun-pater.
What do you call a Roman who’s always making puns about food? A pun-jabi.
Why did the Roman emperor get arrested? For pun-ishment.
What do you call a Roman who tells jokes about sewers? A Cloac-a-Cola. 🔱
Why don’t Romans like puns? Because they’re too “pain”-ful to bear.
Why was the Roman emperor’s joke so bad? Because it was a “Claudius” attempt at humor.
What do you call a Roman who’s always making puns about money? A pun-ancial advisor.
Why did the Roman soldier get lost? Because he couldn’t find his legions.
What do you call a Roman who tells jokes about himself? A pun-isher.
What do you call a Roman who’s always making puns about food? A pun-jabi.
What do you call a Roman emperor who’s always making puns about his wife? A pun-isher.
Why did the Roman emperor get a divorce? Because his wife was always making puns.
What do you call a Roman who tells jokes about his toga? A pun-dit.

Laertes’s Lethal Limericks

L is for Laertes, the lethal jester,
Whose limericks leave you feeling in a fester.
They’re sharp as a sword, and wit as keen,
Leaving victims with a punctured spleen.
He stabs at the truth with words so wry,
Your sides will ache, you’ll want to cry.
His puns are deadly, a poison dart,
That leaves you gasping, trying to restart.
With every limerick, he wields his might,
A master of humor, day and night.
Beware his jests, they’re not for the faint,
He’ll skewer your heart with comic taint.
A rapier wit, he’ll fence with words,
Leaving you breathless, in stitches, unheard.
His limericks strike like thunder and hail,
A verbal cyclone, he cannot fail.
He jests with jest, and jests with might,
Laertes’s limericks, a pure delight.
So brace yourself, for laughter’s sake,
As Laertes’s limericks, your heart will rake.

Hamlet Puns So Bad They’re Grave

What do you call a Hamlet who’s always getting into trouble? A grave robber! 😆
Why did Hamlet need a new shovel? Because he kept digging himself into a hole. 💀
What’s Hamlet’s favorite pastime? Gravedigging. 🪦
Why did Hamlet cross the road? To get to the other grave. ⚰️
What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost? “To grave or not to grave, that is the question.” 🤔
Why did Hamlet get lost in the cemetery? Because he couldn’t find his grave. 👻
What do you call a Hamlet who’s always late? A gravetard. 🦥
What’s the difference between Hamlet and a grave? One’s a play, the other’s a place to stay.🎭🪦
Why did Hamlet become a librarian? Because he loved to read about the dead. 📚👻
What do you call a Hamlet who’s always depressed? A grave-dweller. 😢
Why did Hamlet get a job as a funeral director? Because he had a knack for dealing with the dead.💀⚰️
What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Grave metal. 🤘
Why was Hamlet such a good actor? Because he had a deep understanding of the grave. 🎭🪦
What do you call a Hamlet who’s always arguing? A grave-robber. 🤬
Why did Hamlet get a job as a paleontologist? Because he loved digging up old bones. 🦕
What’s Hamlet’s favorite food? Grave-y. 🍲
Why did Hamlet get a job as a gravedigger? Because he was dead set on it. 💀🪦
What do you call a Hamlet who’s always getting into fights? A grave-brawler. 🥊
Why did Hamlet become a doctor? Because he wanted to help people cross over to the other side. 🏥
What do you call a Hamlet who’s always complaining? A grave-groaner. 🥱

The Tragicomedy of Hamlet: A Pun-Filled Adventure

To thine own shelf be true.
A jest’s a jest, but a good jest is a treasure.
Polonius’s advice: “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.”
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: “We’re just here for the ride.” 🙃
Ophelia: “I’m so depressed, I’m Ophelia’d up!”
Hamlet: “To be or not to Brie?” 🧀
Claudius: “I’m the usurping villain, but I have my reasons.”
Gertrude: “I’m just trying to survive in this crazy family.”
Horatio: “I’m the loyal friend who’s always there for Hamlet.”
Laertes: “I’m out for revenge!” 🗡️
The gravediggers: “We’re just doing our job, but it’s a bit grim.” 🪦
Yorick: “I’m the skull that Hamlet talks to.” 💀
Osric: “I’m the flamboyant courtier who Hamlet makes fun of.”
The Players: “We’re here to entertain the royals, but we also have some important things to say.”
The Ghost of Hamlet’s Father: “I’m here to seek revenge for my murder.”
The ending of the play: “It’s a tragedy, but also a comedy.” 🎭

Puns in the Kingdom: Hamlet’s Wordplay Wit

Hamlet: To bee or not to bee, that is the question.
Horatio: What’s the matter, my lord?
Hamlet: Something’s rotten in the state of Denmark.
Ophelia: I’m so sad, I could just die.
Polonius: That’s not funny, Ophelia.
Ophelia: I’m serious!
Hamlet: Well, I guess you’ll just have to die laughing, then. 💀
Rosencrantz: What’s the difference between a raven and a writing desk?
Guildenstern: I don’t know.
Rosencrantz: One’s a bird and the other’s a desk. 🥱
Hamlet: I have a riddle for you.
Horatio: What is it?
Hamlet: What do you get when you cross a ghost with a liar?
Horatio: I don’t know.
Hamlet: A transparent truth! 👻
Polonius: Hamlet, you need to be more respectful.
Hamlet: I will, as soon as I find my manners.
Ophelia: Hamlet, I love you.
Hamlet: I love you too, Ophelia. But I’m not sure if I can marry you.
Ophelia: Why not?
Hamlet: Because I’m just not that into you. 😂

Beatriz Morales

101+ Hamlet Puns That’ll Make You Wonder, ‘To Pun or Not to Pun’?