176+ Construction Puns to Nail Down the Laughs!

Hey there, construction enthusiasts and pun lovers! Welcome to my building puns extravaganza, where I’ll unleash a barrage of construction-themed puns that will leave you laughing and making your fellow workers groan. As a construction worker myself, I’ve witnessed firsthand the hilarious and often absurd situations that arise on the job site, and let me tell you, the puns are endless.So, grab your tool belts, put on your safety glasses, and prepare to be entertained as we dive into the world of construction puns. From our resident “pun-isher” to the ever-tardy “procrastin-hammer,” we’ve got a pun for every construction-related mishap and misadventure. Brace yourself for a laughter-filled journey as we uncover the “hazard-cones,” “screw-ups,” and “lost-causes” that make our industry so entertaining. And don’t forget the “concrete-mixers” and “big headaches” – they’re always lurking around the corner! Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a construction newbie, these puns are guaranteed to make your day. So, let’s get this pun-derful show on the road and build a solid foundation of laughter together!

I’m a construction worker and I’m always getting into trouble for making puns.

1. I’m so good at building relationships, I could build a bridge between Chuck Norris and Spongebob! 👫😂
2. What do you call a contractor who’s always getting into trouble for making puns? A pun-isher! 👷‍♂️🔨
3. Why are construction workers so bad at math? Because they always measure twice, cut once, and then swear three times! 📏📐🤬
4. What do you get when you cross a construction worker and a comedian? A brick-layer of laughs! 😂🧱
5. Why did the construction worker get arrested? Because he had an outstanding trowel! 👮‍♂️🚔
6. What do you call a construction worker who’s always late? A procrastin-hammer! 🕒👷‍♂️
7. Why did the construction worker get a promotion? Because he knew how to crane his neck! 🏗️💪
8. What do you call a construction worker who can control the weather? A roofer-douser! ☔️👷‍♂️
9. Why are construction workers so good at problem-solving? Because they know how to nail every issue! 🔨👍
10. What do you call a construction worker who’s always up for a challenge? A stud finder! 💪👷‍♂️
11. Why did the construction worker win the lottery? Because he hit the jackpot! 💸💰👷‍♂️
12. What do you call a construction worker who’s always singing? A tool-slayer! 🎵🎤👷‍♂️
13. Why did the construction worker get lost? Because he didn’t have a level head! 👷‍♂️🚧🤔
14. What do you call a construction worker who’s always on vacation? A beach-builder! 🏖️👷‍♂️🏝️
15. Why did the construction worker get a speeding ticket? Because he was driving a concrete mixer too fast! 🚔💨👷‍♂️
16. What do you call a construction worker who’s always making mistakes? A plumb-dinger! 👷‍♂️🔨🤦‍♂️
17. Why did the construction worker get a divorce? Because he was always putting up walls! 🚧💔
18. What do you call a construction worker who’s always making messes? A dirt-slinger! 👷‍♂️🧹
19. Why did the construction worker get a cold? Because he was working in freezing conditions! 🤧👷‍♂️🥶
20. What do you call a construction worker who’s always breaking things? A demolisher! 🔨👷‍♂️💥

I guess you could say I’m a bit of a pun-isher.

1. I guess you could say I’m a bit of a pun-isher. 😝
2. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle smile? Because it was two tired!
4. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick. Boomerang joke
5. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
6. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
7. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it was full of problems!
8. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
11. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
12. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
13. Why did the computer become a vegetarian? Because it couldn’t stomach any more bytes!
14. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
15. Why did the math teacher marry the geometry teacher? Because she had nice angles!
16. What do you call a fish with two legs? A walking fish.
17. Why did the golfer take two pairs of pants to the course? In case he got a hole-in-one!
18. What do you call a lazy egg? A couch potato.
19. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
20. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!

What do you call a construction worker who’s always late?

1. A nail-biter
2. A hammerhead
3. A carpenter ant-sy
4. A procrastin-hammer
5. A lazy beam
6. A slow-tile
7. A tardy trowel 🛠️
8. A slacking screed
9. A procrastin-screwer
10. A putty-off
11. A rebar-tard
12. A plumb-late
13. A lagging lintel
14. A brick-layer down
15. A slow-mo joist
16. A lagging ladder
17. A behind-schedule scaffolding
18. A tardy tape measure 📏
19. A late-lath
20. A back-hoe-sloth

A procrastin-hammer.

1. Why did the lazy carpenter use a procrastin-hammer? Because he wanted to hit the nail when he felt like it!
2. What do you get when you cross a procrastinator and a superhero? Someone who’s always putting off saving the day!
3. Why was the procrastin-hammer so useless? Because it couldn’t even hammer in the point!
4. What do you call a procrastin-hammer that’s always late? A hammer-head!
5. Why didn’t the procrastin-hammer get the job done? Because it was too busy putting it off!
6. What’s the difference between a procrastin-hammer and a regular hammer? About two weeks!
7. Why did the procrastin-hammer get stuck in the driveway? Because it was waiting for the perfect time to get out! 😂
8. What do you call a procrastin-hammer that’s always breaking promises? A hammer-faker!
9. Why did the procrastin-hammer get lost in the woods? Because it was too lazy to follow the trail!
10. What do you get when you combine a procrastin-hammer and a clock? A time-wasting machine! ⏰
11. Why did the procrastin-hammer have a bad reputation? Because it was always dropping the ball!
12. What do you call a procrastin-hammer that’s always making excuses? A hammer-blamer!
13. Why was the procrastin-hammer so popular with students? Because it helped them postpone all their assignments!
14. What do you call a procrastin-hammer that’s always getting distracted? A hammer-fly!
15. Why did the procrastin-hammer get fired from its job? Because it was too slow to the draw! 🐢
16. What do you call a procrastin-hammer that’s always complaining? A hammer-grouch!
17. Why did the procrastin-hammer get a speeding ticket? Because it was always rushing to do everything at the last minute! 🚨
18. What do you call a procrastin-hammer that’s always taking breaks? A hammer-slacker!
19. Why did the procrastin-hammer join a support group? Because it needed help getting motivated!
20. What do you call a procrastin-hammer that’s always procrastinating? A hammer-morra!

What do you call a construction worker who’s always getting into accidents?

1. A “falling” hazard
2. A “concrete” case of bad luck
3. A “beam” of light in a sea of mishaps
4. A “brick” wall of misfortune 🔧
5. A “screw” loose when it comes to safety 👷‍♂️
6. A “hammer” time for some serious pain 🔨
7. A “nail”biter when it comes to accidents 🔩
8. A “tyre”d of getting hurt 🚗
9. A “wrench” in the system of safety 🔧
10. A “scaffold”ing risk to his health 🛠️
11. A “level” of carelessness that’s off the charts 👷‍♂️
12. A “spark” of bad luck that keeps igniting ⚡️
13. A “hole” lot of trouble for the construction zone 🕳️
14. A “safety” hazard that’s a “nail” in the coffin ⚰️
15. A “backhoe” of pain that just keeps digging 🚜
16. A “cement” mixer of unfortunate events 🚧
17. A “sky” is the limit for his mishaps 🛫
18. A “tool” time for disaster to strike 🛠️
19. A “ladder” to nowhere but down the rabbit hole of accidents 🪜
20. A “jackhammer”ing headache from all the collisions

A hazard-cone.

• It’s a traffic cone-undrum! 🚧
• What do you call a construction worker who’s always late? A traffic-cone-sistent offender! 👷‍♂️
• Why did the traffic cone get lost? Because it was a bit of a hazard-nous driver! 🚗
• What do you call a traffic cone that’s been in the sun too long? A sun-cone! 🌞
• What do you get when you cross a traffic cone with a coffee cup? A caffeine-cone-ation! ☕
• Why did the traffic cone get a sunburn? Because it was out standing in its field! 😎
• What do you call a traffic cone with a bad attitude? A cone-frontationalist! 😡
• Why did the traffic cone become a musician? Because it wanted to drum up some excitement! 🥁
• What do you call a traffic cone that’s always in a good mood? A cone-gratulator! 🎉
• Why did the traffic cone decide to become a doctor? Because it wanted to help people get off their feet! 👨‍⚕️

What do you call a construction worker who’s always making mistakes?

1. A mis-bricklayer
2. A faulty framer
3. A hammer-headed handyman
4. A screw-up stud finder
5. A concrete clunker
6. A nail-biting novice
7. A spanner in the works 🔧
8. A wrenching worker
9. A level-headed loser
10. A studly screw-up
11. A drywall disaster
12. A tiling time-waster
13. A leaky laughingstock 😂
14. A shoddy shower installer
15. A window-washing woofer
16. A roofing rube
17. A tile-laying twirp
18. A plastering poser
19. A beamish bumbler
20. A rebarred rebel

A screw-up.

1. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!
2. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🤣
4. I’m not a dad, but I know how to make a dad joke: What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
5. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!
6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
7. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
8. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
9. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
10. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! 💵
11. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
12. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it was full of problems! 🤦‍♂️
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
14. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳
15. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
17. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
18. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
19. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
20. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!

What do you call a construction worker who’s always getting lost?

1. A framer who’s always lost! 🤪
2. A roofer who can’t find his way home!
3. A bricklayer who’s always building himself up!
4. A plumber who’s always down in the dumps! 🚽
5. A carpenter who’s always cutting corners!
6. A painter who’s always drawing a blank!
7. A welder who’s always burning rubber! 🔥
8. A landscaper who’s always getting lost in the weeds! 🌳
9. A concrete worker who’s always stuck in a rut! 🚧
10. A steel worker who’s always rusty! 🔩
11. A glass worker who’s always in a window! 🪞
12. A plumber who’s always flushed with ideas! 💡
13. A carpenter who’s always making wood jokes! 🪵🤣
14. A painter who’s always painting the town red! 🎨❤️
15. A mason who’s always building bridges! 🤝
16. A roofer who’s always going up in the world! 🌍
17. A plumber who’s always making waves! 🌊
18. A carpenter who’s always getting nailed! 🔨
19. A landscaper who’s always getting down to earth! 🌱
20. A contractor who’s always working on his next great pyramid scheme! 💰

A lost-cause.

1. What do you call a joke that’s so bad it’s beyond hope? A lost-cause. 🤭
2. Why did the joke go to the asylum? Because it was a lost-cause.
3. How do you fix a lost-cause joke? You can’t. It’s hopelessly broken. 💔
4. What do you get when you cross a lost-cause joke with a bad joke? A double-whammy of unfunny. 🤪
5. Why did the lost-cause joke join a support group? To share its misery with others. 😔
6. What’s the difference between a lost-cause joke and a dead horse? The dead horse doesn’t mind being beaten. 🙄
7. What do you call a joke that has no hope of being funny? A lost-cause.
8. What do you call a pun that’s so bad it makes you want to cry? A lost-cause. 😭
9. What’s the first step in fixing a lost-cause joke? Admitting that it’s a lost-cause. 🤷‍♀️
10. What do you call a joke that’s gone off the rails? A lost-cause.
11. What do you get when you mix a lost-cause joke with a lame pun? A train wreck of humor. 🚂💥
12. What do you call a joke that’s so bad it’s painful? A lost-cause. 🤕
13. Why did the lost-cause joke cross the road? To get to the other side of unfunny. 😅
14. What do you call a joke that’s so bad it makes you cringe? A lost-cause. 😖
15. What’s the worst part about a lost-cause joke? That it’s not even worth the effort to groan. 🥱
16. What’s the best way to deal with a lost-cause joke? Run away as fast as you can. 💨
17. What do you call a joke that’s so bad it’s contagious? A lost-cause. 😷
18. Why did the lost-cause joke get fired? For being hopelessly unfunny. 💼❌
19. What do you call a joke that’s so bad it makes you want to scream? A lost-cause. 🤬
20. What’s the difference between a lost-cause joke and a good joke? A good joke has a punchline. 👊

What do you call a construction worker who’s always getting into fights?

1. A handyman who’s always getting into brawls? A “hammer-handed fighter”
2. A carpenter who’s a master of martial arts? A “kick saw”
3. A plumber who’s always ready for a rumble? A “wrenching wrestler”
4. A bricklayer who’s a boxing champ? A “brick-fisted bruiser”
5. An electrician who’s always getting into trouble? A “hot-wired hooligan”
6. A roofer who’s a skilled swordsman? A “tile-swiping samurai”
7. A painter who’s a master of disguise? A “camouflage chameleon”
8. A welder who’s a master of close combat? A “soldering specialist”
9. A landscaper who’s always getting into fights? A “rake-wielding ruffian”
10. A demolition expert who’s always ready for a brawl? A “wrecking ball warrior”
11. A concrete mixer driver who’s a top-notch boxer? A “slugger with a cement mixer”
12. A construction worker who’s always getting into bar fights? A “happy hour hooligan”
13. A contractor who’s a master of hand-to-hand combat? A “punching contractor”
14. A foreman who’s always ready to throw down? A “heavy-handed boss”
15. A construction worker who’s always getting into arguments? A “hammer-dropping debater”
16. A carpenter who’s a black belt in karate? A “board-breaking brawler”
17. A plumber who’s a skilled wrestler? A “pipe-wrenching pugilist”
18. A bricklayer who’s a master of the ancient art of Shaolin? A “brick-throwing Buddhist”
19. An electrician who’s always ready to fight? A “voltage-charged vigilante”
20. A construction worker who’s always getting into trouble with the law? A “code-violating convict”

A concrete-mixer.

1. How do you fix a cracked concrete mixer? With a cement patch!
2. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always late? A tardy-mix!
3. Why did the contractor hire a concrete mixer that only spoke Spanish? Because he wanted a mixer with a “smooth finish!”
4. What did the concrete mixer say when it got lost? “Am I in the right lane?” 😮
5. Why did the concrete mixer go to the doctor? Because it had a rumbly-tummy!
6. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always getting into trouble? A rebel with a cause! 🚧
7. Why did the concrete mixer get a speeding ticket? Because it was going too fast and furious!
8. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s too lazy to work? A slacker with a mixer! 🦥
9. Why did the concrete mixer get a haircut? Because it needed a trim!
10. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always in a rush? A quick-mix!
11. Why did the concrete mixer get a new paint job? Because it wanted to look sharp!
12. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always getting lost? A lost-mixer! 🗺️
13. Why did the concrete mixer go to the zoo? To see the hippos and elephants!
14. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always breaking down? A fixer-upper!
15. Why did the concrete mixer go to the library? To check out some heavy reading!
16. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always tired? A slow-mixer! 🥱
17. Why did the concrete mixer join a choir? Because it wanted to sing in a mixed voice!
18. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always getting into arguments? A mixer with an attitude!
19. Why did the concrete mixer get a new engine? Because it wanted to be a high-performance mixer! 🏎️
20. What do you call a concrete mixer that’s always getting lost? A lost-mixer!

What do you call a construction worker who’s always getting into trouble?

1. A bricklayer who’s always getting arrested. 🧱🤣
2. A plumber who’s always getting into hot water. ♨️😂
3. A carpenter who’s always getting hammered. 🔨😅
4. A painter who’s always getting into a pickle. 🖼️🥒
5. A landscaper who’s always getting into weeds. 🌲🌿
6. A welder who’s always getting sparks. ⚡️🔥
7. A glazier who’s always getting into a pane. 🪟🤦‍♀️
8. A electrician who’s always getting shocked. ⚡😲
9. A roofer who’s always getting into the gutter. 🌧️🏠
10. A bricklayer who’s always making a mess. 🧱💣
11. A electrician who’s always brighter than everyone else. 💡🤓
12. A plumber who’s always up to his neck in it. 💧🤷‍♀️
13. A carpenter who’s always making a killing. 🔨💰
14. A painter who’s always splashing out. 🎨💸
15. A landscaper who’s always green with envy. 🍀🌿
16. A welder who’s always hot under the collar. 🥵🔥
17. A glazier who’s always transparent about his feelings. 🪟🤷‍♂️
18. A electrician who’s always buzzing with energy. ⚡️🐝
19. A roofer who’s always on top of things. 🏠👍
20. A bricklayer who’s always laying the groundwork. 🧱💪

A big headache.

• I have a headache so bad that I can’t even think straight. 🤦‍♀️
• My headache is so bad, I can’t even lift my head. 🤕
• I have a headache so bad, it feels like someone’s trying to drill a hole in my skull. ⛏️
• My headache is so bad, I’m starting to see double. 👀
• I have a headache so bad, I can’t even remember my own name. 🤔
• My headache is so bad, I’m starting to forget how to breathe. 😥
• I have a headache so bad, I can’t even count to ten without losing track. 🔢
• My headache is so bad, I’m starting to think I might have a brain tumor. 🧠
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to get jealous of people who have no head. 👤
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might be allergic to my own brain. 🧠🤧
• My headache is so bad, I’m starting to wish I had a lobotomy. ✂️
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might be a walking zombie. 🧟‍♂️
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might be possessed by a demon. 😈
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might need an exorcism. ✝️
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might need a new head. 💆‍♂️
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might need a lobotomy. 🧠✂️
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might need to see a neurologist. 👩‍⚕️🧠
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might need to see a psychiatrist. 👩‍⚕️🧠
• I have a headache so bad, I’m starting to think I might need to see a priest. ✝️

Rosana C. Nogueira

Especialista de Seguros | Key Account | Executivo de Negócios | Gestão Comercial